Lonely nights
Last night was very interesting to me. Most would find it to be boring or possibly a common night for them but when its the exact opposite of what I do usually it makes it interesting. On the average night for me, soon after work there is always someone that will be coming over to hang out with me, whether its to have some beers or just play video games or a movie. Well it was the exact opposite last night. No one came over, I looked non stop for a house (which is still extremely hard), cracked open a beer and didn't drink it, and then stayed up later then the weeknights drinking just watching t.v. that I haven't seen ever. Weeds just started back up which was fricken amazing and was followed by a new show called Nurse Jackie which caught my attention. A drug addicted nurse who fucks a doctor at work for pills while having a family at home to deal with. Gets more involved but thats the basic line. Any ways, spending the night alone made me realize how alone I can really feel. It's been three years since my last real relationship and I just kinda miss having that special someone to love on, care for, and just lay around with. I've dedicated so much thought into some thing, someone and I haven't even been able to hold or kiss them, care for them, anything. It's so frustrating. On another note of frustrating, finding a house to buy is a HUGE pain in the ass. I've had one house I really liked bought one day before I put in my paper work and then just Monday I had put in an offer on Friday and the bank went with someone else's offer. So again I'm back to square one looking for something interesting for me to live in. Just have to try and keep the most positive attitude that I can. I will find a great place to live in and share with my love.