So, New Year's eh?
Today's celebration is one that my family tends to skip for whatever reason. Zoe livened it up by taking me with her to do our Christmas shopping for each other. What? A week late? Pssh. Details, details. I ended up covering the cost of half of her New Year's outfit for a party tomorrow, and she insisted on buying me a shirt that I looked really good in. I'll admit I felt rather alone when she left to celebrate the new year with her family but I still had a great time.
Now, New Year's always disorients me. Every time I sit down at some point during the day, stare blankly at my wall, and wonder: where did the time go?
I obsess over time -the lack of it, the need for it to move faster, or trying to make the most of it. There's so many things I want to do. There's the person I want to be. There's also mundane, daily obligations. New Year's scares me because I can look back and know I didn't live life to its fullest. That may not bother some people, but for me, it's saddening.
There are people who compare each year to the previous and I have no idea where they have the memory for that. I just know the one.
Early '08 is a haze for me which means it was comfortable; there was nothing horrible or spectacular to leave an impression. I'm sure I grappled with school, myself, and family but what teen doesn't? April, May, and June were less hazy. That's when preparations for college began and that prospect of freedom made me eagerly excited. There was also the euphoria of receiving 100% on my English final as it was another indication that my writing may just make it on the book market. Summer was a lull, but that's my annual standard. >_<
Things became more lively in September. College satisfied my craving for change; a month through I fell into the routine and things lost some of their shine. That's when end of October/beginning of November came about and things became very different. They still are. Those months were probably the hardest for me. There's a host of reasons and I won't list them but despite the difficulty and stress, that was my favourite time of the year. Yeah, I was miserable at times but I think that same misery made me come to appreciate the person I am: talents, hopes, dreams, shortcomings, past mistakes, me.
There'll always be troubles, but you know, I can say I'm truly happy. I'm hardly optimistic by nature but I'm really looking forward to the new year! =D I'll try my best and I wish the best for everyone else!
SO HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!! ♥♥♥
Now, New Year's always disorients me. Every time I sit down at some point during the day, stare blankly at my wall, and wonder: where did the time go?
I obsess over time -the lack of it, the need for it to move faster, or trying to make the most of it. There's so many things I want to do. There's the person I want to be. There's also mundane, daily obligations. New Year's scares me because I can look back and know I didn't live life to its fullest. That may not bother some people, but for me, it's saddening.
There are people who compare each year to the previous and I have no idea where they have the memory for that. I just know the one.
Early '08 is a haze for me which means it was comfortable; there was nothing horrible or spectacular to leave an impression. I'm sure I grappled with school, myself, and family but what teen doesn't? April, May, and June were less hazy. That's when preparations for college began and that prospect of freedom made me eagerly excited. There was also the euphoria of receiving 100% on my English final as it was another indication that my writing may just make it on the book market. Summer was a lull, but that's my annual standard. >_<
Things became more lively in September. College satisfied my craving for change; a month through I fell into the routine and things lost some of their shine. That's when end of October/beginning of November came about and things became very different. They still are. Those months were probably the hardest for me. There's a host of reasons and I won't list them but despite the difficulty and stress, that was my favourite time of the year. Yeah, I was miserable at times but I think that same misery made me come to appreciate the person I am: talents, hopes, dreams, shortcomings, past mistakes, me.
There'll always be troubles, but you know, I can say I'm truly happy. I'm hardly optimistic by nature but I'm really looking forward to the new year! =D I'll try my best and I wish the best for everyone else!
SO HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!! ♥♥♥