(no subject)
I should be writing my lab report which was due yesterday, but I'm too busy missing people. All my old friends from Delaware in particular, but also a few people here in Tulsa who I'd really like to reconnect with. This is such a strange feeling! I'm not used to missing people.
I am fixating on the upcoming breaks. I can't help it. I have no idea how things are going to go; I'm at such a strange place in my healing right now, especially what with not really having time to see my therapist much (read: at all). And I tend to feel totally distant from there. I don't go back there like most out-of-state students do. I just ...don't. My present is here, not back there. I don't particularly want to go back there. And yet I feel compelled. What is this? I don't feel like DE's my home, so it's not homesickness. It's not restful to be there, so it's not exhaustion and desire for a break. It's just... seriugeoidvaiu. Nostalgia? Maybe?
Ugh. Whatever. Lab report, lab report. Lab report.
I am fixating on the upcoming breaks. I can't help it. I have no idea how things are going to go; I'm at such a strange place in my healing right now, especially what with not really having time to see my therapist much (read: at all). And I tend to feel totally distant from there. I don't go back there like most out-of-state students do. I just ...don't. My present is here, not back there. I don't particularly want to go back there. And yet I feel compelled. What is this? I don't feel like DE's my home, so it's not homesickness. It's not restful to be there, so it's not exhaustion and desire for a break. It's just... seriugeoidvaiu. Nostalgia? Maybe?
Ugh. Whatever. Lab report, lab report. Lab report.