Fucking quintessence of myself (Hey, I spelt it right the first time.)
August has easily been the most eventful month of my life this year. I'm fairly convinced it will remain to be, and a little sad its almost over.
I flew to another state, and saw some old fatass who I haven't seen in years. It was good shit for the most part (aside from being tucked in at night from his dad, weird shit)
The Rush concert was pretty big to me, on a personal "I've never really experienced something like this before" level. I'm not sure what was with Geddy Lee's voice but I got over it pretty quick.
I tried THE EVIL MARAJUWANA for the first time, ever. It wasn't amazing, and it wasn't bad. I took a bad hit and nearly threw up but that was my own fault. I've strongly considered taking it like I do alcohol (On the side and fairly rarely) but there is legal issues in the way, I'll probably be more keen on it when those go away. I've personally come to think that my family won't care as long as I'm responsible and handle myself. Which I've proven I can do, and I know I can.
Anyway, enough of the bulletin shit,
My music tastes and knowledge have been growing over the last few months and its starting to show. Case and point, I've moved my music from my actual hard drive to my portable. Because I had too fucking much. I think last time I checked I had 15 days of music nonstop. Now I'm at: 22 Days, 12Hrs, 7m, 33sec. And I'm missing a few albums I've been wanting. I don't need my parents telling me I've always had a thing for music, I know. The shit is in my soul. You know, someone will ask you "If you could bring one thing with you on a deserted island, what would it be?" And I always have two answers.
A: A Satellite phone
or
B: My entire music collections with band new Beverdynamic DT 770s
Because no matter what hardships I've faced in life only one thing has always, ALWAYS been there for me, and that is my music. No matter who I know dies, or leaves me, I'll always have my tunes. Its been getting me thinking to be honest, its such a part of me, such a huge statement of who I am. It feels like a calling sometimes, like, its what I'm supposed to do.
I've been thinking of who I am and what I should be doing with my life lately. Though I've been mainly thinking about my current state of being and not the future. Looking around at the people I know, and what is going on with them, it is pretty easy to see, that my mind is not in the right set. I need to think about whats ahead and now the here and now. Because the here and now will take care of itself, that is why its here, and, you know, now. Not to say it doesn't deserve its own appropriate attention, it does, just not as much. I need to look into school, and how I'm going to pay for it, what classes and when. I need to look into where I'm going in life, what my career will be and not what I'll get forced into (and stuck into) until I'm forced to move and find something else. It isn't a position I will take, because if I'm going to be doing something, I'm going to tell myself to do it first.
So, for now, the here and now requires its own attention. Really all that is, is getting a 10.00hr+ job, which is annoyingly more difficult that it sounds. However from going to my old job, I'm well aware of my financial needs and that seems to be appropriate pay for me. As greedy as that may come off, that is how it just is. I don't mean to be over zealous about material items, but I'm sick of sucking off of other people, and I'm done with wanting and yearning. Its easily time I start headed in the right direction in life, because if not now, when? When I'm 25? Fuck that. I'm starting now, right now, and I'm aiming for the future too. For now, a diet, and, more exercise (though that'll be a fun trick seeing as how I owe my gym 50/75 bucks, and we're not EVEN going into the discussion in how that is complete bullshit). So far (its only been one day) its not glamorous. Nor will the road ahead of me be, I, understand now, that ahead of me I will be losing people very close to me. I will probably gain some new friends and loved ones, but nothing replaces whats lost. However those are just the cards I'm being dealt and I'd rather not fold right now, the deck isn't even half gone.
"Suffer the pain of discipline, or suffer the pain of regret."
-My computer desktop
I flew to another state, and saw some old fatass who I haven't seen in years. It was good shit for the most part (aside from being tucked in at night from his dad, weird shit)
The Rush concert was pretty big to me, on a personal "I've never really experienced something like this before" level. I'm not sure what was with Geddy Lee's voice but I got over it pretty quick.
I tried THE EVIL MARAJUWANA for the first time, ever. It wasn't amazing, and it wasn't bad. I took a bad hit and nearly threw up but that was my own fault. I've strongly considered taking it like I do alcohol (On the side and fairly rarely) but there is legal issues in the way, I'll probably be more keen on it when those go away. I've personally come to think that my family won't care as long as I'm responsible and handle myself. Which I've proven I can do, and I know I can.
Anyway, enough of the bulletin shit,
My music tastes and knowledge have been growing over the last few months and its starting to show. Case and point, I've moved my music from my actual hard drive to my portable. Because I had too fucking much. I think last time I checked I had 15 days of music nonstop. Now I'm at: 22 Days, 12Hrs, 7m, 33sec. And I'm missing a few albums I've been wanting. I don't need my parents telling me I've always had a thing for music, I know. The shit is in my soul. You know, someone will ask you "If you could bring one thing with you on a deserted island, what would it be?" And I always have two answers.
A: A Satellite phone
or
B: My entire music collections with band new Beverdynamic DT 770s
Because no matter what hardships I've faced in life only one thing has always, ALWAYS been there for me, and that is my music. No matter who I know dies, or leaves me, I'll always have my tunes. Its been getting me thinking to be honest, its such a part of me, such a huge statement of who I am. It feels like a calling sometimes, like, its what I'm supposed to do.
I've been thinking of who I am and what I should be doing with my life lately. Though I've been mainly thinking about my current state of being and not the future. Looking around at the people I know, and what is going on with them, it is pretty easy to see, that my mind is not in the right set. I need to think about whats ahead and now the here and now. Because the here and now will take care of itself, that is why its here, and, you know, now. Not to say it doesn't deserve its own appropriate attention, it does, just not as much. I need to look into school, and how I'm going to pay for it, what classes and when. I need to look into where I'm going in life, what my career will be and not what I'll get forced into (and stuck into) until I'm forced to move and find something else. It isn't a position I will take, because if I'm going to be doing something, I'm going to tell myself to do it first.
So, for now, the here and now requires its own attention. Really all that is, is getting a 10.00hr+ job, which is annoyingly more difficult that it sounds. However from going to my old job, I'm well aware of my financial needs and that seems to be appropriate pay for me. As greedy as that may come off, that is how it just is. I don't mean to be over zealous about material items, but I'm sick of sucking off of other people, and I'm done with wanting and yearning. Its easily time I start headed in the right direction in life, because if not now, when? When I'm 25? Fuck that. I'm starting now, right now, and I'm aiming for the future too. For now, a diet, and, more exercise (though that'll be a fun trick seeing as how I owe my gym 50/75 bucks, and we're not EVEN going into the discussion in how that is complete bullshit). So far (its only been one day) its not glamorous. Nor will the road ahead of me be, I, understand now, that ahead of me I will be losing people very close to me. I will probably gain some new friends and loved ones, but nothing replaces whats lost. However those are just the cards I'm being dealt and I'd rather not fold right now, the deck isn't even half gone.
"Suffer the pain of discipline, or suffer the pain of regret."
-My computer desktop