G.I. Joe: Dokyou (Courage)
Title: Dokyou (Courage)
Series: Stand-Alone
Fandom: G.I. Joe
Rated: PG-13
Summary: He's never known just how to ask for what he wants. (SE/S)
Disclaimer: Holy cow, I definitely don't own them... these days, they own ME!
Notes: ...I've been asked to continue this story already, several times... but I likely won't, so I apologize in advance, okay...?
Dokyou (Courage)c
One of Terri’s favorite things to do had been tease him about women. Or, well, properly speaking, it’d been girls, but… Snake-Eyes smiled at the memory. Terri’d certainly thought herself a proper woman at the time. Or a proper matchmaker, anyway.
His twin sister had been popular; he’d always been quiet. It still totally eluded him, just exactly what she’d been using to convince her friends out on dates with him. They were nice enough girls-many of them quieter, just like he was; he was thankful that she’d never tried to set him up with any of the members of her cheerleading squad, even though-or maybe especially because-they'd cooed and primped at him whenever he went to a match or meet to cheer her on.
For that matter, though, Snake-Eyes still wasn’t entirely sure how she’d convinced him out on dates with her friends. He’d privately decided that she must have had an enormous amount of blackmail on them, that they not only wanted to go out on dates with him, but that they wanted more than one… but what did that say about him, that he went along with it?
He’d asked her, once. She’d given him a sly, sidewards look out of her brown eyes, tossed her bob, and replied, “Well, if you haven’t figured it out, I’m not going to tell you!”
Maybe she’d have been Intel, if she’d ever joined the military. Snake-Eyes chuckled to himself, softly. The memory of her still ached, even after all these years, that lost little piece of his soul-but in a way, it was a sore, sweet ache. Gentler, now. The pain never stopped, but... if he didn't smile when he remembered her, who would?
It’d never really worked out with any of the girls, of course-they went on a few dates. Sometimes a few more than a few. He’d had his own share of sweaty hand-holding in the movie theaters and kisses in the back seat of his parents' car. Sometimes-rarely-more than just kisses.
He knew many of the Joes would probably be shocked by the knowledge that he’d been a teenager once, too.
But his relationships had never lasted. He'd liked some of the girls better than others, of course, but... how was he supposed to give them what they wanted from him, when he didn't even know how to ask for what he wanted?
“That’s because it takes guts to fall head-over-heels in love, and even more guts to admit it to someone!” Terri had shaken her head, with her eyes rolled up as high as the sleeves on her button-down. It had been days before their high school graduation; he'd had his last date with... he didn't even remember her name anymore. He and the girl had parted ways; neither of them had looked back. “Look at you! Put a helmet and shinguards on you, and half the time your opponent’s down before he even knows what hit him! Put you in front of a girl, and… and it’s like you have no idea what just hit you!”
He’d chuckled, at that, softly. He’d spent four years medalling in taekwondo, but… the rules were simpler, in fights. “Kicking someone is easy, Terri.”
Terri had rolled her eyes again-but finally, she’d laughed and thrown her arms around his neck. “What the heck is the army going to do with you, brother mine? You’re handsome and smart and spineless!”
He was no longer handsome-if he’d ever been; he suspected that part of that had simply been twin-glasses, tinted rose. Smart had always been debatable: truthfully, her grades had always been better than his.
Spineless, though?
Ah, Terri. Can you see me now, big sister?
He was an Airborne Ranger, a vet of two hellish tours overseas, a career soldier his entire life. He was Snake-Eyes of Special Counterterrorist Force Delta. He was a founding member of G.I. Joe. He'd walked, driven, crawled, and been dropped into the worst warzones in the world without flinching. He'd trained with ninjas, and looked death in its white eyes and terrible smile.
He might debate the rest, but he wasn't spineless, no.
Scarlett touched his arm, gently. The calluses on her fingertips rasped against his commando uniform. “Hey. Deep thoughts there, pal?”
Snake-Eyes glanced over to her, and shook his head, shrugging. Watched the glint of gold in her green eyes spread when she smiled, just a little, with just the corners of them. Saw the saucy curve of lips that he'd never kissed. Realized, the way he always realized, that she was standing at his elbow, almost, but not quite, close enough for him to lean into her. She moved like a ninja-smooth, effortlessly silent, like a breath, or like pride. But she walked like a woman.
He hadn’t heard her come into his quarters. But he’d felt the way her presence slid across his skin, the scent of her like a sizzle of distant lightning.
[Is it raining outside?] he asked, looking at the tiny diamonds in her loose, long hair.
Scarlett laughed, that deep, rich, right caress of a laugh, and smoothed the light drizzle through her hair, burnishing it to a glistening sheen. “Fine, I get it, your thoughts are too deep for little ol’ me.” When she cocked her head, there was a glint in her eyes that was almost hopeful. "Duke and I are going into town later. You need anything?"
Yes.
His eyes tracked a droplet down the surprisingly delicate line of her jaw; his hand jerked before he stilled it at his side.
Yes, always.
Snake-Eyes shook his head, and wondered at the quiet edge that turned her smile, the terrible slowness with which that odd, bright hope faded. "No," she murmured, looking up at him. The gold in her eyes was just the barest thin frame around emeralds. "I guess... you never do."
It was their routine. Their dialogue, the lines edited over the years, but always the same content.
Snake-Eyes sometimes let himself think about what Scarlett would do if he ever changed the script.
He’d wondered. Oh, yes. Would she give that little soft ‘ah!’ of surprise? Chirp out an ‘oh, my stars and stripes,’ in that hint of a Georgia drawl that only came out when she was soft and relaxed and pleased? If he reached out and drew her against him, his hands lightly resting on her hips, sliding to the small of her back when she stepped closer-would she give him that smile that bordered on being a smirk, and nip out, playfully, “It’s about time, buster?”
He didn’t think she’d push him away. He… didn’t know. Maybe that was the worst part of it all.
But when Snake-Eyes glanced down at this lively, lush redheaded siren, looking up at him with that chuckle in her gaze and that soft little lingering invitation around her lips, he understood with painful certainty what Professor Onihashi had said: “Between swords and women, I can tell you this… swords hurt less.”
A sword could kill him, and death was easy. Shana “Scarlett” O’ Hara could destroy him.
Sometimes-always moments like this, when this woman was close enough to reach out to, not just to touch-Snake-Eyes wondered if Terri had been right-if he was a coward.
Neither of them thought anything of Scarlett being in his room. She was so often there. Neither of them would hesitate to walk through fire for the other-he knew that with the same certainty that he knew his sword would be sharp when he drew it. If he died in her defense tomorrow, he knew he’d consider there to be no better end to his life, no richer purpose.
So why was it so hard? Why had it always been?
Snake Eyes watched her walk out of his room in the face of his silence, glad she couldn't see the longing written across his scarred, awful face. He was even more glad for years of hard teachings and harder discipline when, in the mess hall later that day, he saw Duke's hand sneak out and run, just lightly, along the small of her back, before whisking away.
Her shiver, her smile back at their Top, were naughty and too private; she and Duke thought-perhaps understandably-that no-one knew.
But Snake had watched her for too long to not recognize the changes in the small things she did. He’d known from the beginning. It’d always been there, her attraction to their First Sergeant-and why not? Her muscles had caught and she'd whistled just under her breath when they'd first met handsome Conrad Hauser. That had… entertained him, actually.
But then he’d realized that Duke could give her something he’d never be able to-even if he’d dared to reach out for her hand. Even if he tried.
The charming, good-ol’-boy First Sergeant made her laugh.
It’d started with that silly story-something about Duke tie-dyeing t-shirts with his nieces for some project or another. God, he remembered that laugh-raucous, uproarous, Scarlett slapping her knee with tears of delight running down her cheeks. He’d frozen with shock; understood exactly why his throat felt clotted off. He’d never felt sick with jealousy before.
They weren't really in a profession made for hilarity, and she, with her sparkling eyes and wry humor and deep, rich compassion, deserved laughter.
Wasn't that exactly why he'd nudged her in Duke's direction in the first place?
And now… now. Small touches-smaller smiles. The teasing little flirty glances and the way she trembled when Duke stood too close. Duke looked smug at her reaction to him; Scarlett just looked amused by it, as much as she was chagrined. A lover's language, Snake-Eyes though, pretending he didn't know, and wishing he didn’t understand.
But sometimes, when he watched her with their First Sergeant, he realized: Duke made her happy, but not… not as happy as he'd thought the man would. Sometimes, when she thought no-one was looking, Scarlett's shoulders drooped as if keeping them straight took more than she had, and he knew better than anyone just how much she had to give. In those moments, her green eyes were very far away, and oddly wistful.
But he never asked, and Scarlett never volunteered.
Sometimes, Snake-Eyes wondered if Terri had been right. If he was a coward, after all.
And sometimes, when Scarlett's eyes met his and there was still something dark and sweet and infinite in them, something that made his breath come too fast until he looked away… Snake-Eyes knew he was.
~fin~
June 12, 2009
Eeek! Aaargh! I know, I know, it was D/S as much as it was SE/S... no, this is not going to become a habit, it was for plot purposes only! -laugh- Please don't hurt me, I like a little unrequited-love angst just as much as the next fangirl...
Series: Stand-Alone
Fandom: G.I. Joe
Rated: PG-13
Summary: He's never known just how to ask for what he wants. (SE/S)
Disclaimer: Holy cow, I definitely don't own them... these days, they own ME!
Notes: ...I've been asked to continue this story already, several times... but I likely won't, so I apologize in advance, okay...?
Dokyou (Courage)c
One of Terri’s favorite things to do had been tease him about women. Or, well, properly speaking, it’d been girls, but… Snake-Eyes smiled at the memory. Terri’d certainly thought herself a proper woman at the time. Or a proper matchmaker, anyway.
His twin sister had been popular; he’d always been quiet. It still totally eluded him, just exactly what she’d been using to convince her friends out on dates with him. They were nice enough girls-many of them quieter, just like he was; he was thankful that she’d never tried to set him up with any of the members of her cheerleading squad, even though-or maybe especially because-they'd cooed and primped at him whenever he went to a match or meet to cheer her on.
For that matter, though, Snake-Eyes still wasn’t entirely sure how she’d convinced him out on dates with her friends. He’d privately decided that she must have had an enormous amount of blackmail on them, that they not only wanted to go out on dates with him, but that they wanted more than one… but what did that say about him, that he went along with it?
He’d asked her, once. She’d given him a sly, sidewards look out of her brown eyes, tossed her bob, and replied, “Well, if you haven’t figured it out, I’m not going to tell you!”
Maybe she’d have been Intel, if she’d ever joined the military. Snake-Eyes chuckled to himself, softly. The memory of her still ached, even after all these years, that lost little piece of his soul-but in a way, it was a sore, sweet ache. Gentler, now. The pain never stopped, but... if he didn't smile when he remembered her, who would?
It’d never really worked out with any of the girls, of course-they went on a few dates. Sometimes a few more than a few. He’d had his own share of sweaty hand-holding in the movie theaters and kisses in the back seat of his parents' car. Sometimes-rarely-more than just kisses.
He knew many of the Joes would probably be shocked by the knowledge that he’d been a teenager once, too.
But his relationships had never lasted. He'd liked some of the girls better than others, of course, but... how was he supposed to give them what they wanted from him, when he didn't even know how to ask for what he wanted?
“That’s because it takes guts to fall head-over-heels in love, and even more guts to admit it to someone!” Terri had shaken her head, with her eyes rolled up as high as the sleeves on her button-down. It had been days before their high school graduation; he'd had his last date with... he didn't even remember her name anymore. He and the girl had parted ways; neither of them had looked back. “Look at you! Put a helmet and shinguards on you, and half the time your opponent’s down before he even knows what hit him! Put you in front of a girl, and… and it’s like you have no idea what just hit you!”
He’d chuckled, at that, softly. He’d spent four years medalling in taekwondo, but… the rules were simpler, in fights. “Kicking someone is easy, Terri.”
Terri had rolled her eyes again-but finally, she’d laughed and thrown her arms around his neck. “What the heck is the army going to do with you, brother mine? You’re handsome and smart and spineless!”
He was no longer handsome-if he’d ever been; he suspected that part of that had simply been twin-glasses, tinted rose. Smart had always been debatable: truthfully, her grades had always been better than his.
Spineless, though?
Ah, Terri. Can you see me now, big sister?
He was an Airborne Ranger, a vet of two hellish tours overseas, a career soldier his entire life. He was Snake-Eyes of Special Counterterrorist Force Delta. He was a founding member of G.I. Joe. He'd walked, driven, crawled, and been dropped into the worst warzones in the world without flinching. He'd trained with ninjas, and looked death in its white eyes and terrible smile.
He might debate the rest, but he wasn't spineless, no.
Scarlett touched his arm, gently. The calluses on her fingertips rasped against his commando uniform. “Hey. Deep thoughts there, pal?”
Snake-Eyes glanced over to her, and shook his head, shrugging. Watched the glint of gold in her green eyes spread when she smiled, just a little, with just the corners of them. Saw the saucy curve of lips that he'd never kissed. Realized, the way he always realized, that she was standing at his elbow, almost, but not quite, close enough for him to lean into her. She moved like a ninja-smooth, effortlessly silent, like a breath, or like pride. But she walked like a woman.
He hadn’t heard her come into his quarters. But he’d felt the way her presence slid across his skin, the scent of her like a sizzle of distant lightning.
[Is it raining outside?] he asked, looking at the tiny diamonds in her loose, long hair.
Scarlett laughed, that deep, rich, right caress of a laugh, and smoothed the light drizzle through her hair, burnishing it to a glistening sheen. “Fine, I get it, your thoughts are too deep for little ol’ me.” When she cocked her head, there was a glint in her eyes that was almost hopeful. "Duke and I are going into town later. You need anything?"
Yes.
His eyes tracked a droplet down the surprisingly delicate line of her jaw; his hand jerked before he stilled it at his side.
Yes, always.
Snake-Eyes shook his head, and wondered at the quiet edge that turned her smile, the terrible slowness with which that odd, bright hope faded. "No," she murmured, looking up at him. The gold in her eyes was just the barest thin frame around emeralds. "I guess... you never do."
It was their routine. Their dialogue, the lines edited over the years, but always the same content.
Snake-Eyes sometimes let himself think about what Scarlett would do if he ever changed the script.
He’d wondered. Oh, yes. Would she give that little soft ‘ah!’ of surprise? Chirp out an ‘oh, my stars and stripes,’ in that hint of a Georgia drawl that only came out when she was soft and relaxed and pleased? If he reached out and drew her against him, his hands lightly resting on her hips, sliding to the small of her back when she stepped closer-would she give him that smile that bordered on being a smirk, and nip out, playfully, “It’s about time, buster?”
He didn’t think she’d push him away. He… didn’t know. Maybe that was the worst part of it all.
But when Snake-Eyes glanced down at this lively, lush redheaded siren, looking up at him with that chuckle in her gaze and that soft little lingering invitation around her lips, he understood with painful certainty what Professor Onihashi had said: “Between swords and women, I can tell you this… swords hurt less.”
A sword could kill him, and death was easy. Shana “Scarlett” O’ Hara could destroy him.
Sometimes-always moments like this, when this woman was close enough to reach out to, not just to touch-Snake-Eyes wondered if Terri had been right-if he was a coward.
Neither of them thought anything of Scarlett being in his room. She was so often there. Neither of them would hesitate to walk through fire for the other-he knew that with the same certainty that he knew his sword would be sharp when he drew it. If he died in her defense tomorrow, he knew he’d consider there to be no better end to his life, no richer purpose.
So why was it so hard? Why had it always been?
Snake Eyes watched her walk out of his room in the face of his silence, glad she couldn't see the longing written across his scarred, awful face. He was even more glad for years of hard teachings and harder discipline when, in the mess hall later that day, he saw Duke's hand sneak out and run, just lightly, along the small of her back, before whisking away.
Her shiver, her smile back at their Top, were naughty and too private; she and Duke thought-perhaps understandably-that no-one knew.
But Snake had watched her for too long to not recognize the changes in the small things she did. He’d known from the beginning. It’d always been there, her attraction to their First Sergeant-and why not? Her muscles had caught and she'd whistled just under her breath when they'd first met handsome Conrad Hauser. That had… entertained him, actually.
But then he’d realized that Duke could give her something he’d never be able to-even if he’d dared to reach out for her hand. Even if he tried.
The charming, good-ol’-boy First Sergeant made her laugh.
It’d started with that silly story-something about Duke tie-dyeing t-shirts with his nieces for some project or another. God, he remembered that laugh-raucous, uproarous, Scarlett slapping her knee with tears of delight running down her cheeks. He’d frozen with shock; understood exactly why his throat felt clotted off. He’d never felt sick with jealousy before.
They weren't really in a profession made for hilarity, and she, with her sparkling eyes and wry humor and deep, rich compassion, deserved laughter.
Wasn't that exactly why he'd nudged her in Duke's direction in the first place?
And now… now. Small touches-smaller smiles. The teasing little flirty glances and the way she trembled when Duke stood too close. Duke looked smug at her reaction to him; Scarlett just looked amused by it, as much as she was chagrined. A lover's language, Snake-Eyes though, pretending he didn't know, and wishing he didn’t understand.
But sometimes, when he watched her with their First Sergeant, he realized: Duke made her happy, but not… not as happy as he'd thought the man would. Sometimes, when she thought no-one was looking, Scarlett's shoulders drooped as if keeping them straight took more than she had, and he knew better than anyone just how much she had to give. In those moments, her green eyes were very far away, and oddly wistful.
But he never asked, and Scarlett never volunteered.
Sometimes, Snake-Eyes wondered if Terri had been right. If he was a coward, after all.
And sometimes, when Scarlett's eyes met his and there was still something dark and sweet and infinite in them, something that made his breath come too fast until he looked away… Snake-Eyes knew he was.
~fin~
June 12, 2009
Eeek! Aaargh! I know, I know, it was D/S as much as it was SE/S... no, this is not going to become a habit, it was for plot purposes only! -laugh- Please don't hurt me, I like a little unrequited-love angst just as much as the next fangirl...