G. I. Joe: Cabbages and Kings #2: Amplitude
Title: Amplitude
Series: Cabbages and Kings #2 (BH/CG)
Fandom: G.I. Joe
Rated: PG-13
Summary: Why would anyone want to dance with the grumpiest Joe at the party?
Disclaimer: -smirk- No, STILL not mine.
Notes: -chuckle- I can't believe that silly little driving drabble actually spawned a new idea... and, man, in such an incredibly cliche setting, too! I should be ashamed of myself. But I had a ton of fun writing it, and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!
Cabbages and Kings #2: Amplitude
"You realize, right, that the only reason I'm doing this is because I owe you?"
"Oh, thanks, Beach. I didn't realize that one dance at a formal function was such a damned chore."
"Yeah, well. ‘Case you haven't noticed, Princess, I ain't the dancin’ type."
"Oh, I don't know, I've seen you run those obstacle courses. Here. Look, we're not even standing in the middle of the dance floor."
"Fine. One dance. Right?"
"Just one."
“And all I gotta do is stand here?
“A little swaying would be appreciated, but… sheesh. Yeah, that's it, pretty much.
"And then we're even."
"We're even."
"Fine."
"Fine. See? Here... Beach, are you freakin' kidding?"
"What?"
"You're so far away from me you're practically bent over."
"So?"
"So get your ass closer over here."
"No thanks. What, aren't you gonna tell me you don't bite, Cinderella?"
"Well, I could. It'd be a lie, though."
"What the fuck--"
"Truthfully, I prefer to nibble. But, fortunately for you, I don't have rabies."
"Cover Girl..."
"Hah, listen to that growl. Kidding, kidding!"
"You think I don't know that?!"
"That I'm kidding, or that I don't have rabies? Hey, you never know, with you. When’s the last time you got your vaccine?"
"Goddamn it. Why do I put up with this shit?!"
"Because if I told anyone you kiss--"
"Keep your voice down!"
"I don't even understand why you're so worried. I could tell every person on the team, and no-one would believe it. Stop scowling. Besides, no-one's even listening.”
“Yeah? That your special model-microphone tellin’ you that?”
“Fuck you, Beach. No, they're too busy gaping. And giggling about the fact that we could probably have an entire other Joe between us. Give me your hands--"
"Hey! What're you--"
"Mm. There. Isn't that better? You don't have to stoop."
"I... ah... ah... whatever, Cinderella. Why is this song so long?"
"Because it just started. Look, it's not that different from what you were doing before, it's just that your arms are actually around me now. We're not doing the bump and grind or anything."
"Blazes, girl, did you have to put it that way?"
"Geez, you're acting like a boy at his middle school Spring Fling."
"A Spring... wha?"
"You know, I almost said prom, but I’m sure you didn’t go. And I'm pretty sure I never danced with anyone who acted like I was nuclear at my prom. Don't worry, Beach, your virtue's intact."
"You think it's fun making me do this, Cover Girl?!"
"I mean... well, yeah, actually, I do."
"I swear, the next time you're running obstacles with me..."
"You're the one who couldn't keep his liiiips off miiine…"
"Damn it--keep your voice... and I was drunk!"
"Yeah, I could tell. You don't know how to be drunk."
"Yeah, apparently, if I’m doing dumb things like… and how the Hell would you know?"
"You think I can't tell when a man's had too much? Oh, please, Beach. The day you voluntarily go anywhere near me, you’ve got to be three sheets to the wind and four cups in the toilet. Remember, I spent a whole career watching men make idiots of themselves around me."
"What do you mean, 'spent?' The motor pool jockeys still lose brain cells the moment you breathe anywhere around them. If I have to kick one more of those maggots into shape and make them pay attention when you come trotting out for PT in that little sleeveless shirt-thing..."
"Now I am officially shocked. Beach Head noticing an outfit. The world just ended."
"I’m still a guy, and I ain’t blind, Cinderella. I just don’t care.”
“Hm. Yes, yes, I’d noticed you were a guy.”
“You must think ol’ Beach Head is stupid, if you’re expectin’ me to go anywhere near that comment. Blazes, Princess, if you wanted to dance so bad, why didn't you get one of them to dance with you?"
"Didn't want to dance with them."
"And forcing me to dance with you is so much better?"
“You’re not going to try and grab my ass, stick your hand up the slit on my skirt, or rub up against my stomach. So… yes?”
“Wha--who the Hell would do that?!”
“Eh, you know those ‘motor pool jockeys’ you were talking about?”
“Fuck. Cover Girl, I’m going to kill them.”
“I hate to tell you this, Ranger Man, but it’s really adorable when you get all protective.”
“I ain’t being protective, Barbie Doll. Your ‘buddies’ aren’t being professional. What, you think it’s okay for a soldier to be pullin’ that kind of shit on his teammates, whether they’re men, women, or fuckin’ winged monkeys?!”
“That depends? Don’t glare at me like that, I know your opinion on frat regs. It’s all in good fun, Beach. I’m serious. Clutch… well, Clutch does the funky chicken every time he’s on the dance floor, but the rest of them aren’t too bad. Hector’s actually really good at bump-and-grind, you know. Sea legs, I guess.”
“Aw, Hell. ’Scuse me while I vomit.”
“And if anyone gets to kill them for putting their hands on me, it’s me.”
“Mmm. Hmmm.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Just the look on your… nothing. Anyway. You still haven’t explained.”
“Why I’d want to kill them? I’d think that’d be-“
“No, Princess. Why me?”
“You know, if that hadn’t been a growl, it’d have been a whine? I wanted to dance, and you looked like the best option. At the time, anyway.”
“What, Duke was taken?"
"He was talking to the General. I'll dance with him later."
“…”
“Now why are you grinding your teeth? Awww… aww, look. Aren’t they cute?”
“They’re a pain in the military ass, that’s what they are. They think that just ‘cause they’re tagged for all these top-secret missions, they can… hey. Wait a cotton-pickin’ minute. They’re not dancing all snuggled up!”
“Neither are we. They’re also smiling at each other, Beach. It makes a difference. Jesus, I can just imagine the look on Snake-Eyes’ face if you ever tried to warn him away from his girl.”
“There wasn’t any look. Man was wearing that mask of his.”
“…oh, God. You didn’t.”
“If they want to bust frat regs wide open, it’s their damned careers. I just wanted to make sure the ninja knew exactly what he was risking, fooling around with her.”
“Lord, you are so lucky Snakes knows how to keep a secret.”
“He’s got too many secrets.”
“Yes, but he’s also got a girlfriend with a serious possessive streak, so just thank your lucky stars, okay? Besides, everyone’s got their secrets.”
“I don’t.”
“Everyone does.”
“Fine, then. Tell me one.”
“Wha--?”
“You said everyone’s got secrets. Prove it. What’s one of yours?”
“You know, Beach, the last time you asked me anything about my personal life…”
“…yeah, we ended up right here, so why are you complaining? Come on, Cinderella.”
“Riiight, ‘cause I’m going to be sharing secrets with a PT demon who won’t even hold me close during a slow-oh.”
“Better?”
“Oh. Um. I… geez, you’re built. Yeah… uh, forget I said that. You first.”
“Told you, I ain’t got-“
“Any secrets, yeah, yeah. What’s something you’ve never told anyone?”
“Huh.”
“See, that’s what you call a secret. Tell.”
“Hmmm. I think… okay. There’s one…”
“…Yeah?”
“…”
“Am I going to need to go for the feathers and dirty socks?”
“I think you look really gorgeous tonight. Damned good, Courtney. Shit. There.”
“Oh. I… I… oh. Um. I didn’t… oh. Thank… thank you, Beach.”
“I mean, it ain’t much of a secret, you bein’ what you were, but… s’all I got. Your turn.”
“Okay. I… um. You know when you kissed me?”
“Freakin’ A, girl-how many times do I have to bang into your head that-“
“Shhh.”
“…”
“Number one: note to self-touching Beach Head’s mouth shuts him up. Amazing. Number two: no-one was listening then, and with Jaye and Flint making out over there, they’re definitely not listening now. You gonna let me finish?”
“I swear, Cover Girl, you stick your finger anywhere near my mouth again, and you’re gonna see who bites.”
“Oh, so you can prove to me you’ve got rabies? Like I was saying-when you kissed me… stop grumbling. It was the best kiss I’ve ever had.”
“…”
“I mean, that’s… kind of tragic, really, if you think about it, hottest kiss of my life coming from a hard-ass Ranger topped off on Kentucky bourbon, but…”
“I… ah, fuck. Cover Girl…”
“Yeah. Pathetic. I know, you don’t need to tell me that. See, that’s what happens when you ask about secrets. Anyway… song’s over.”
“Yeah. Guess it is.”
“You can let go of me, now, Wayne.”
“I… yeah. In a second.”
“Huh?”
“…I wasn’t drunk, Cinderella. Wasn’t even buzzed.”
“…”
“Just… yeah. You gonna get your arms out from around my neck?”
“…um. Oh! Sure. Uh… I… I… knew that. Oh.”
“Right. Sure. Anyway.”
“Thanks. For… you know. The dance. Consider your… um… debt paid.”
“I will. You… uh… I’m getting myself a drink. You… you want something?”
“Oh… I… I guess… a shot of bourbon, please. Hmmm? Wayne, what’s… you’re smiling.”
“Nothin’, darlin’. It’s nothin’.”
~fin~
Start: June 03, 2009
End: June 05, 2009
Okay, these dialogue stories between Beach Head and Cover Girl are a lot more fun to write than they really should be. -laugh- The original ending to this one was a kiss, too, but I retooled it, and I think it works better this way, considering the setting.
Why, yes, I am actually aware that this conversation goes on for longer than most any normal slow song. Or any song, for that matter. It runs about eight minutes. (And, yes, I was actually a dork and read it out. Mostly to the sound of Elliot Yamin’s “Wait For You,” and Secondhand Serenade’s “Fall For You.” It struck me, at the time, as being very appropriate: “Best thing ‘bout tonight’s that we’re not fighting,” indeed. ^_~)
Please let me know if you have any interest in seeing any more BH/CG… I don’t have any really good plot bunnies right now, but there’s something about writing friction rather than sweetness that makes me smile. -grin- And, of course, all comments and criticism are incredibly welcome!
Series: Cabbages and Kings #2 (BH/CG)
Fandom: G.I. Joe
Rated: PG-13
Summary: Why would anyone want to dance with the grumpiest Joe at the party?
Disclaimer: -smirk- No, STILL not mine.
Notes: -chuckle- I can't believe that silly little driving drabble actually spawned a new idea... and, man, in such an incredibly cliche setting, too! I should be ashamed of myself. But I had a ton of fun writing it, and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!
Cabbages and Kings #2: Amplitude
"You realize, right, that the only reason I'm doing this is because I owe you?"
"Oh, thanks, Beach. I didn't realize that one dance at a formal function was such a damned chore."
"Yeah, well. ‘Case you haven't noticed, Princess, I ain't the dancin’ type."
"Oh, I don't know, I've seen you run those obstacle courses. Here. Look, we're not even standing in the middle of the dance floor."
"Fine. One dance. Right?"
"Just one."
“And all I gotta do is stand here?
“A little swaying would be appreciated, but… sheesh. Yeah, that's it, pretty much.
"And then we're even."
"We're even."
"Fine."
"Fine. See? Here... Beach, are you freakin' kidding?"
"What?"
"You're so far away from me you're practically bent over."
"So?"
"So get your ass closer over here."
"No thanks. What, aren't you gonna tell me you don't bite, Cinderella?"
"Well, I could. It'd be a lie, though."
"What the fuck--"
"Truthfully, I prefer to nibble. But, fortunately for you, I don't have rabies."
"Cover Girl..."
"Hah, listen to that growl. Kidding, kidding!"
"You think I don't know that?!"
"That I'm kidding, or that I don't have rabies? Hey, you never know, with you. When’s the last time you got your vaccine?"
"Goddamn it. Why do I put up with this shit?!"
"Because if I told anyone you kiss--"
"Keep your voice down!"
"I don't even understand why you're so worried. I could tell every person on the team, and no-one would believe it. Stop scowling. Besides, no-one's even listening.”
“Yeah? That your special model-microphone tellin’ you that?”
“Fuck you, Beach. No, they're too busy gaping. And giggling about the fact that we could probably have an entire other Joe between us. Give me your hands--"
"Hey! What're you--"
"Mm. There. Isn't that better? You don't have to stoop."
"I... ah... ah... whatever, Cinderella. Why is this song so long?"
"Because it just started. Look, it's not that different from what you were doing before, it's just that your arms are actually around me now. We're not doing the bump and grind or anything."
"Blazes, girl, did you have to put it that way?"
"Geez, you're acting like a boy at his middle school Spring Fling."
"A Spring... wha?"
"You know, I almost said prom, but I’m sure you didn’t go. And I'm pretty sure I never danced with anyone who acted like I was nuclear at my prom. Don't worry, Beach, your virtue's intact."
"You think it's fun making me do this, Cover Girl?!"
"I mean... well, yeah, actually, I do."
"I swear, the next time you're running obstacles with me..."
"You're the one who couldn't keep his liiiips off miiine…"
"Damn it--keep your voice... and I was drunk!"
"Yeah, I could tell. You don't know how to be drunk."
"Yeah, apparently, if I’m doing dumb things like… and how the Hell would you know?"
"You think I can't tell when a man's had too much? Oh, please, Beach. The day you voluntarily go anywhere near me, you’ve got to be three sheets to the wind and four cups in the toilet. Remember, I spent a whole career watching men make idiots of themselves around me."
"What do you mean, 'spent?' The motor pool jockeys still lose brain cells the moment you breathe anywhere around them. If I have to kick one more of those maggots into shape and make them pay attention when you come trotting out for PT in that little sleeveless shirt-thing..."
"Now I am officially shocked. Beach Head noticing an outfit. The world just ended."
"I’m still a guy, and I ain’t blind, Cinderella. I just don’t care.”
“Hm. Yes, yes, I’d noticed you were a guy.”
“You must think ol’ Beach Head is stupid, if you’re expectin’ me to go anywhere near that comment. Blazes, Princess, if you wanted to dance so bad, why didn't you get one of them to dance with you?"
"Didn't want to dance with them."
"And forcing me to dance with you is so much better?"
“You’re not going to try and grab my ass, stick your hand up the slit on my skirt, or rub up against my stomach. So… yes?”
“Wha--who the Hell would do that?!”
“Eh, you know those ‘motor pool jockeys’ you were talking about?”
“Fuck. Cover Girl, I’m going to kill them.”
“I hate to tell you this, Ranger Man, but it’s really adorable when you get all protective.”
“I ain’t being protective, Barbie Doll. Your ‘buddies’ aren’t being professional. What, you think it’s okay for a soldier to be pullin’ that kind of shit on his teammates, whether they’re men, women, or fuckin’ winged monkeys?!”
“That depends? Don’t glare at me like that, I know your opinion on frat regs. It’s all in good fun, Beach. I’m serious. Clutch… well, Clutch does the funky chicken every time he’s on the dance floor, but the rest of them aren’t too bad. Hector’s actually really good at bump-and-grind, you know. Sea legs, I guess.”
“Aw, Hell. ’Scuse me while I vomit.”
“And if anyone gets to kill them for putting their hands on me, it’s me.”
“Mmm. Hmmm.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Just the look on your… nothing. Anyway. You still haven’t explained.”
“Why I’d want to kill them? I’d think that’d be-“
“No, Princess. Why me?”
“You know, if that hadn’t been a growl, it’d have been a whine? I wanted to dance, and you looked like the best option. At the time, anyway.”
“What, Duke was taken?"
"He was talking to the General. I'll dance with him later."
“…”
“Now why are you grinding your teeth? Awww… aww, look. Aren’t they cute?”
“They’re a pain in the military ass, that’s what they are. They think that just ‘cause they’re tagged for all these top-secret missions, they can… hey. Wait a cotton-pickin’ minute. They’re not dancing all snuggled up!”
“Neither are we. They’re also smiling at each other, Beach. It makes a difference. Jesus, I can just imagine the look on Snake-Eyes’ face if you ever tried to warn him away from his girl.”
“There wasn’t any look. Man was wearing that mask of his.”
“…oh, God. You didn’t.”
“If they want to bust frat regs wide open, it’s their damned careers. I just wanted to make sure the ninja knew exactly what he was risking, fooling around with her.”
“Lord, you are so lucky Snakes knows how to keep a secret.”
“He’s got too many secrets.”
“Yes, but he’s also got a girlfriend with a serious possessive streak, so just thank your lucky stars, okay? Besides, everyone’s got their secrets.”
“I don’t.”
“Everyone does.”
“Fine, then. Tell me one.”
“Wha--?”
“You said everyone’s got secrets. Prove it. What’s one of yours?”
“You know, Beach, the last time you asked me anything about my personal life…”
“…yeah, we ended up right here, so why are you complaining? Come on, Cinderella.”
“Riiight, ‘cause I’m going to be sharing secrets with a PT demon who won’t even hold me close during a slow-oh.”
“Better?”
“Oh. Um. I… geez, you’re built. Yeah… uh, forget I said that. You first.”
“Told you, I ain’t got-“
“Any secrets, yeah, yeah. What’s something you’ve never told anyone?”
“Huh.”
“See, that’s what you call a secret. Tell.”
“Hmmm. I think… okay. There’s one…”
“…Yeah?”
“…”
“Am I going to need to go for the feathers and dirty socks?”
“I think you look really gorgeous tonight. Damned good, Courtney. Shit. There.”
“Oh. I… I… oh. Um. I didn’t… oh. Thank… thank you, Beach.”
“I mean, it ain’t much of a secret, you bein’ what you were, but… s’all I got. Your turn.”
“Okay. I… um. You know when you kissed me?”
“Freakin’ A, girl-how many times do I have to bang into your head that-“
“Shhh.”
“…”
“Number one: note to self-touching Beach Head’s mouth shuts him up. Amazing. Number two: no-one was listening then, and with Jaye and Flint making out over there, they’re definitely not listening now. You gonna let me finish?”
“I swear, Cover Girl, you stick your finger anywhere near my mouth again, and you’re gonna see who bites.”
“Oh, so you can prove to me you’ve got rabies? Like I was saying-when you kissed me… stop grumbling. It was the best kiss I’ve ever had.”
“…”
“I mean, that’s… kind of tragic, really, if you think about it, hottest kiss of my life coming from a hard-ass Ranger topped off on Kentucky bourbon, but…”
“I… ah, fuck. Cover Girl…”
“Yeah. Pathetic. I know, you don’t need to tell me that. See, that’s what happens when you ask about secrets. Anyway… song’s over.”
“Yeah. Guess it is.”
“You can let go of me, now, Wayne.”
“I… yeah. In a second.”
“Huh?”
“…I wasn’t drunk, Cinderella. Wasn’t even buzzed.”
“…”
“Just… yeah. You gonna get your arms out from around my neck?”
“…um. Oh! Sure. Uh… I… I… knew that. Oh.”
“Right. Sure. Anyway.”
“Thanks. For… you know. The dance. Consider your… um… debt paid.”
“I will. You… uh… I’m getting myself a drink. You… you want something?”
“Oh… I… I guess… a shot of bourbon, please. Hmmm? Wayne, what’s… you’re smiling.”
“Nothin’, darlin’. It’s nothin’.”
~fin~
Start: June 03, 2009
End: June 05, 2009
Okay, these dialogue stories between Beach Head and Cover Girl are a lot more fun to write than they really should be. -laugh- The original ending to this one was a kiss, too, but I retooled it, and I think it works better this way, considering the setting.
Why, yes, I am actually aware that this conversation goes on for longer than most any normal slow song. Or any song, for that matter. It runs about eight minutes. (And, yes, I was actually a dork and read it out. Mostly to the sound of Elliot Yamin’s “Wait For You,” and Secondhand Serenade’s “Fall For You.” It struck me, at the time, as being very appropriate: “Best thing ‘bout tonight’s that we’re not fighting,” indeed. ^_~)
Please let me know if you have any interest in seeing any more BH/CG… I don’t have any really good plot bunnies right now, but there’s something about writing friction rather than sweetness that makes me smile. -grin- And, of course, all comments and criticism are incredibly welcome!