G.I. Joe: Cabbages and Kings #1: Acceleration
Title: Acceleration
Series: Cabbages and Kings #1
Fandom: G.I. Joe
Rated: R
Summary: Everyone's got a first-time story, but some people have got more interesting ones than others...
Disclaimer: -smirk- No, not mine.
Notes: And this is the first in the Cabbages and Kings "series," I guess you could call it. Beach Head and Cover Girl converse. Or fight. Or... whatever. It was originally intended as a silly one-shot, but considering that it's already spawned two follow-up stories, I guess it hardly counts as a one-shot anymore...
Just so you're forewarned, this whole series is entirely done in dialogue. Beach calling Cover Girl Cinderella and Barbie doll comes from other fanfic, because I'm pretty sure they never had much interaction in the comics, and I really don't remember what kind of interaction they had in the TV series. Why, yes, I am totally ignoring comic canon romance. Why do you ask? ^_~
Acceleration
“So… tell me about your first time.”
“Hah! Wait ‘til I tell the guys. Get a couple of snifters of the good stuff into Master Sergeant Wayne Sneeden, and he actually starts caring about people’s personal lives!”
“You gonna answer the question or what, Cover Girl? And what are you doing?”
“Just checking to make sure you’re still you.”
“What the Hell is that supposed to mean? What are you-ah. Hey.”
“You know, your voice just got real soft all of a sudden, right there. You sure you’re Beach Head?”
“What the fuck-are you sniffing me?”
“Mmm. Like I said. Checking that you’re not a… I dunno, a clone or something. Because for one thing, you smell really good.”
“Huh? Barbie doll, get your face the Hell away from me.”
“Buuuuut you’re still a grouch. Heh. And here I thought I was going to have to call the thought police. For that, I’m having another shot. Mmmm… whooo, this is really tasty. Where’d it come from, again?”
“My sister sends me a bottle for my birthday every year. And you get to pay for that shot with the story.”
“For bourbon that smooth… sure. You’re getting gypped, though. Not much to tell, really. It was… like everyone’s first time, I guess? Good things and bad things, things that could have gone better… but, in retrospect, it could have gone so much worse.”
“I guess? How old were you?”
“Fifteen, thereabouts, I guess.”
“Fifteen?”
“Yeah… I guess I was a little young. Some people are younger, though, aren’t they? How old were you?”
“Not the point, and we are not going there right now. Goddamn it, Cinderella. If I ever get my hands on the bastard dung-eating maggot who took advantage of you…”
“Oh, Beach. He wasn’t that much older than I was. He had just the sweetest ride: a vintage ’67 Corvette, fully restored. Jet black, looked like it could outrun a BMW without even moving. His parents got it for him for his eighteenth birthday.”
“Eighteenth-“
“Well, yeah. Like I said, a little older. I knew him ‘cause he was a friend of my brother’s. They played sports together, and he was over at my house a lot. And he thought I was cute. He was a nice guy, though. Even if he was a rich kid. Um… Wayne?”
“What.”
“You’re going to crack a molar if you keep grinding your teeth that way, and I don’t think dental’s covered in our health plan. Look, you asked.”
“Yeah.”
“If you don’t want to hear it, I really don’t care, that’s fine with me.”
“I’m… fine. I’m cool. No problem.”
“Uh… ri-ight. That was definitely more than a shot you just took. That was like… a swig on steroids.”
“You gonna hassle me about one drink, or you gonna talk?”
“Most people say ‘please,’ you know.”
“Cover Girl…”
“And what makes you think he took advantage of me? Really, I feel more like I took advantage of him. I mean… it was all my idea.”
“Wha-dollface, you did not just say… What?”
“Hah. Wow. Go me. I’ve actually managed to shock Beach Head silent.”
“Krieger, what were you thinking?”
“Don’t bark in my ear. We’re having a nice drink, not doing PT. Look, I was young. I was thinking he seemed… playful, like the kind of guy who would be up for a little… you know, good old-fashioned fun. And he had a really nice car.”
“Good… old-fashioned… and basically ‘cause you’ve got a hard-on for his goddamned Corvette? Ah, fuck. I’ve got a headache.”
“I did not have a hard-on for his car.”
“Sure sounds like it.”
“Nooooooo hard-on. Female, remember?”
“Oh, fuck, yes, I remember, all right.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Nothin’. No-thing.”
“If I’d known you were going to make such a big deal of it, I wouldn’t have told you.”
“You’ve started, might as well finish.”
“Are you going to be a bastard about it?”
“No.”
“Beach, I don’t believe you. You’re always a bastard.”
“I’m gonna let that one slide, but you’re gonna be screaming for mercy come the next time you have PT with me, Corporal Krieger. Finish the goddamned story.”
“Well, we started out on this little private side road, right? No-one there, no cops or anything. I thought I was doing pretty well, all things considered, my first time and all. Sure, I was a little clumsy at first, but he didn’t seem too worried. And it was fun, but… I dunno, it just wasn’t enough.”
“Not… enou… okay. Okay. Yeah. Go on.”
“You’ve got this really big blood vessel pulsing in your temple. I’ve never seen that before. Uh… okay, you don’t have to glare like that. So I figured, hey, why not, maybe with a little convincing, maybe we can get a little motion going… if you know what I mean?”
“…motion?”
“Yeah. You know, it was pretty early in the day, before all the rush hour stuff started. Or maybe it was a weekend… yeah, you know, now that I think about it, it was a weekend. So I figured we could get some, like… highway kind of action. A car like that, it’s made for really moving, not just sneaking around in a little alleyway.”
“You. Went out. On the highway.”
“Sure. Took some convincing, but in the end, he just couldn’t say no. Almost crashed the car, but oh, man, so worth it! It was… wow. What a rush-it went from ‘okay, a little weird’ to ‘amazing.’ I swear, I fell in love right then.”
“Goddamn it, you little Barbie-headed idiot, you coulda been killed! What the bleedin’ Hell were you doin’, fuckin’ around on the highway?! And without a seat belt on?! Hell, it’s a miracle that pretty little head of yours didn’t go flyin’ through the windshield!”
“Your accent’s gotten really strong, you know that? Of course I was wearing a seat belt. What kind of moron do you think I am?!”
“What?! How the Hell were you wearing a seat belt?!”
“The normal way! How else do people wear seat belts? You know, you sit down, you take the little metal thing, you pull it across, you plug it in the other side…”
“Look, wiseass-“
“Just because it was my first time behind the wheel didn’t mean I knew nothing!
“What?!”
“Goddamn, I should hit you for being so shocked. You think I’d take out someone’s ‘Vette without knowing a little something about driving? I’m probably the only first-timer you’ll ever meet who didn’t stall a manual transmission! Why? ‘Cause I knew what I was doing, and I’m sure you’d realise that if you ever yanked that surgically implanted stick out of your-“
“Wait. Wait. Courtney, goddamn it, slow it down. What…you were… talking about your first time driving?”
“Yeah, duh! Why? What the Hell did you think I was talking about-Wayne? What's going--mmph?! Ah… mmmm.”
“Ah.”
“Mmhmm. Mmmmm.”
“Oh. Ah. Fuckin’ blazes.”
“Beach… did you just…”
“S’nothing. Just… s’nothing.”
“Oh. Wow. Wayne."
"Cover Girl..."
"Don't you even start with my code name. You… kissed me. That’s not…”
“Uh… I… ah, fuck, give me that bourbon, Courtney.”
~fin~
Start: May 18, 2009
End: May 23, 2009
Hey, what can I say: my first experience (driving) was disastrous, and many, many years ago, but not everyone's has to be, right? -chuckle-
What? You knew that twist was coming... didn't you? ^_~ I was contemplating leaving out the kiss at the end, but you couldn't possibly expect me to have NO romance in a story, could you?
Series: Cabbages and Kings #1
Fandom: G.I. Joe
Rated: R
Summary: Everyone's got a first-time story, but some people have got more interesting ones than others...
Disclaimer: -smirk- No, not mine.
Notes: And this is the first in the Cabbages and Kings "series," I guess you could call it. Beach Head and Cover Girl converse. Or fight. Or... whatever. It was originally intended as a silly one-shot, but considering that it's already spawned two follow-up stories, I guess it hardly counts as a one-shot anymore...
Just so you're forewarned, this whole series is entirely done in dialogue. Beach calling Cover Girl Cinderella and Barbie doll comes from other fanfic, because I'm pretty sure they never had much interaction in the comics, and I really don't remember what kind of interaction they had in the TV series. Why, yes, I am totally ignoring comic canon romance. Why do you ask? ^_~
Acceleration
“So… tell me about your first time.”
“Hah! Wait ‘til I tell the guys. Get a couple of snifters of the good stuff into Master Sergeant Wayne Sneeden, and he actually starts caring about people’s personal lives!”
“You gonna answer the question or what, Cover Girl? And what are you doing?”
“Just checking to make sure you’re still you.”
“What the Hell is that supposed to mean? What are you-ah. Hey.”
“You know, your voice just got real soft all of a sudden, right there. You sure you’re Beach Head?”
“What the fuck-are you sniffing me?”
“Mmm. Like I said. Checking that you’re not a… I dunno, a clone or something. Because for one thing, you smell really good.”
“Huh? Barbie doll, get your face the Hell away from me.”
“Buuuuut you’re still a grouch. Heh. And here I thought I was going to have to call the thought police. For that, I’m having another shot. Mmmm… whooo, this is really tasty. Where’d it come from, again?”
“My sister sends me a bottle for my birthday every year. And you get to pay for that shot with the story.”
“For bourbon that smooth… sure. You’re getting gypped, though. Not much to tell, really. It was… like everyone’s first time, I guess? Good things and bad things, things that could have gone better… but, in retrospect, it could have gone so much worse.”
“I guess? How old were you?”
“Fifteen, thereabouts, I guess.”
“Fifteen?”
“Yeah… I guess I was a little young. Some people are younger, though, aren’t they? How old were you?”
“Not the point, and we are not going there right now. Goddamn it, Cinderella. If I ever get my hands on the bastard dung-eating maggot who took advantage of you…”
“Oh, Beach. He wasn’t that much older than I was. He had just the sweetest ride: a vintage ’67 Corvette, fully restored. Jet black, looked like it could outrun a BMW without even moving. His parents got it for him for his eighteenth birthday.”
“Eighteenth-“
“Well, yeah. Like I said, a little older. I knew him ‘cause he was a friend of my brother’s. They played sports together, and he was over at my house a lot. And he thought I was cute. He was a nice guy, though. Even if he was a rich kid. Um… Wayne?”
“What.”
“You’re going to crack a molar if you keep grinding your teeth that way, and I don’t think dental’s covered in our health plan. Look, you asked.”
“Yeah.”
“If you don’t want to hear it, I really don’t care, that’s fine with me.”
“I’m… fine. I’m cool. No problem.”
“Uh… ri-ight. That was definitely more than a shot you just took. That was like… a swig on steroids.”
“You gonna hassle me about one drink, or you gonna talk?”
“Most people say ‘please,’ you know.”
“Cover Girl…”
“And what makes you think he took advantage of me? Really, I feel more like I took advantage of him. I mean… it was all my idea.”
“Wha-dollface, you did not just say… What?”
“Hah. Wow. Go me. I’ve actually managed to shock Beach Head silent.”
“Krieger, what were you thinking?”
“Don’t bark in my ear. We’re having a nice drink, not doing PT. Look, I was young. I was thinking he seemed… playful, like the kind of guy who would be up for a little… you know, good old-fashioned fun. And he had a really nice car.”
“Good… old-fashioned… and basically ‘cause you’ve got a hard-on for his goddamned Corvette? Ah, fuck. I’ve got a headache.”
“I did not have a hard-on for his car.”
“Sure sounds like it.”
“Nooooooo hard-on. Female, remember?”
“Oh, fuck, yes, I remember, all right.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Nothin’. No-thing.”
“If I’d known you were going to make such a big deal of it, I wouldn’t have told you.”
“You’ve started, might as well finish.”
“Are you going to be a bastard about it?”
“No.”
“Beach, I don’t believe you. You’re always a bastard.”
“I’m gonna let that one slide, but you’re gonna be screaming for mercy come the next time you have PT with me, Corporal Krieger. Finish the goddamned story.”
“Well, we started out on this little private side road, right? No-one there, no cops or anything. I thought I was doing pretty well, all things considered, my first time and all. Sure, I was a little clumsy at first, but he didn’t seem too worried. And it was fun, but… I dunno, it just wasn’t enough.”
“Not… enou… okay. Okay. Yeah. Go on.”
“You’ve got this really big blood vessel pulsing in your temple. I’ve never seen that before. Uh… okay, you don’t have to glare like that. So I figured, hey, why not, maybe with a little convincing, maybe we can get a little motion going… if you know what I mean?”
“…motion?”
“Yeah. You know, it was pretty early in the day, before all the rush hour stuff started. Or maybe it was a weekend… yeah, you know, now that I think about it, it was a weekend. So I figured we could get some, like… highway kind of action. A car like that, it’s made for really moving, not just sneaking around in a little alleyway.”
“You. Went out. On the highway.”
“Sure. Took some convincing, but in the end, he just couldn’t say no. Almost crashed the car, but oh, man, so worth it! It was… wow. What a rush-it went from ‘okay, a little weird’ to ‘amazing.’ I swear, I fell in love right then.”
“Goddamn it, you little Barbie-headed idiot, you coulda been killed! What the bleedin’ Hell were you doin’, fuckin’ around on the highway?! And without a seat belt on?! Hell, it’s a miracle that pretty little head of yours didn’t go flyin’ through the windshield!”
“Your accent’s gotten really strong, you know that? Of course I was wearing a seat belt. What kind of moron do you think I am?!”
“What?! How the Hell were you wearing a seat belt?!”
“The normal way! How else do people wear seat belts? You know, you sit down, you take the little metal thing, you pull it across, you plug it in the other side…”
“Look, wiseass-“
“Just because it was my first time behind the wheel didn’t mean I knew nothing!
“What?!”
“Goddamn, I should hit you for being so shocked. You think I’d take out someone’s ‘Vette without knowing a little something about driving? I’m probably the only first-timer you’ll ever meet who didn’t stall a manual transmission! Why? ‘Cause I knew what I was doing, and I’m sure you’d realise that if you ever yanked that surgically implanted stick out of your-“
“Wait. Wait. Courtney, goddamn it, slow it down. What…you were… talking about your first time driving?”
“Yeah, duh! Why? What the Hell did you think I was talking about-Wayne? What's going--mmph?! Ah… mmmm.”
“Ah.”
“Mmhmm. Mmmmm.”
“Oh. Ah. Fuckin’ blazes.”
“Beach… did you just…”
“S’nothing. Just… s’nothing.”
“Oh. Wow. Wayne."
"Cover Girl..."
"Don't you even start with my code name. You… kissed me. That’s not…”
“Uh… I… ah, fuck, give me that bourbon, Courtney.”
~fin~
Start: May 18, 2009
End: May 23, 2009
Hey, what can I say: my first experience (driving) was disastrous, and many, many years ago, but not everyone's has to be, right? -chuckle-
What? You knew that twist was coming... didn't you? ^_~ I was contemplating leaving out the kiss at the end, but you couldn't possibly expect me to have NO romance in a story, could you?