The glad game told me to kill you.

[sinsense]

It has been a rather enervating week for me.

My father and I had both neglected to put anti-virus software on my new computer, which I only sort of vaguely registered. This meant that my computer was absolutely riddled with spyware and viruses by the time I finally cottoned on. This in turn meant that my father had to wipe my computer clean. It now has anti-virus software on it, and so I am very pleased. However, due to some miscommunication, my father didn't pull my documents off of my computer before he wiped it. I lost everything, including the various drafts of my dissertation prospectus, some stories I was working on, my pictures (including some from Rome I hadn't uploaded on Flickr yet), and all of my music.

Before this news arrived, I had also: realized how broke I'm going to be until the end of September, learned that my parents will be out of town this Christmas, scraped a bunch of skin off of my big toe, and lost my source of internet at home.

Nothing all that awful, in other words. When combined together, however, they have slowed me down considerably. It's only been half a day since I found out about my computer, though, and only a couple of days since I found out about Christmas. I'm hoping that soon I'll get a little hitch in my giddy-up again. School starts on Monday, which means that it's good that I'm starting fresh. I prepared a (hard copy!) collection of notes that I'll need for my meeting with my dissertation advisor on Wednesday, and I have hopes that I'll get my topic at least pre-approved. Each day gets me closer to a paycheck, too.

Whoops, excuse me, I got Pollyanna on your shoes. Be assured that I was not so glib yesterday.

A request: I would love it if anyone could share zip files of any albums by The Used, My Chem, Why?, or Sleater-Kinney. They're the ones I've paid money for. Other musical recommendations accepted, but the RIAA tells me that music sharing is naughty and promotes Communism, so keep that in mind. [Edit: I found Artwork already, and I'm planning on buying an official copy when it comes out, so no need for that one.]

---

The other day I asked for top five lists, which was a CLEVER PLOY to get content suggestions. Ho ho, I bet you didn't even suspect my CUNNING WILES! More fool you!

Top Five Bromantic Moments in Any Medium, suggested by apiphile:

1. Some Kind of Wonderful is a John Hughes movie, featuring the extremely delicious Mary Stuart Masterson in the delightful role of Watts. Watts is a soft butch sort of character -- she wears fingerless red leather gloves! with fringe! -- who has a giant crush on her best friend, Keith. Said best friend, sadly enough, has a crush on the popular girl. In order to score a perfect date with said popular girl, Keith gets the school bad boy, Duncan, to help him out. There's a moment when Keith is going to get beat up at a popular boy's party, and Duncan and his crew sail in to defend Keith's honor. Before Duncan sneers that "this must be a henhouse, because all I see is chicken shit," he and Keith share a fist bump. Why is this so appealingly bromantic? I have no idea. I just love it.
   
2. I Love You, Man is a fantastic movie, and the description of it doesn't do it justice. There's a moment where Andy Samberg's character is talking to his brother, Paul Rudd's character. Samberg's character is at a Gay Bowling Night with his father. As Rudd and Samberg talk, shots of their conversation are intercut with the father celebrating his bowling score with various other attendees of the Gay Bowling Night. There's air spanking of an air sexual partner.
   
3. Keen Eddie, when Eddie and Monty fall asleep together when they're on a stakeout, and Eddie wakes up with Monty asleep on his chest. I love how they're properly sleep-cranky, but not embarrassed at all.
   
4. Psych, when Gus is held hostage at the bank and Shawn is insanely dedicated to getting him out of there. Generally the relationship between Gus and Shawn is one of my favorite romantic friendships of all time.
   
5. Little Men, in which Dan lies and says he did something that everyone thinks Nat did, because he hates seeing Nat so sad:"It was a kind lie, Dan, and I can't help forgiving it; but you see it did no good," said Mr. Bhaer, with a hand on either shoulder, and a face full of relief and affection.
   
   "It kept the boys from plaguing Nat. That's what I did it for. It made him right down miserable. I didn't care so much," explained Dan, as if glad to speak out after his hard silence.
   
   "How could you do it? You are always so kind to me," faltered Nat, feeling a strong desire to hug his friend and cry. Two girlish performances, which would have scandalized Dan to the last degree.
   
   "It's all right now, old fellow, so don't be a fool," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat, and laughing out as he had not done for weeks.
   AWWWWWW.

Top Five Ways In Which Bert McCracken Is Amazing:
Little known fact: I really like Bert McCracken. I therefore found this list extremely difficult to compose, because I had to decide between "things I find amazing, because I am thoroughly stockholmed" (his smoker's cough! his creepy-dopey smile! his inappropriately rude behavior! his eats of his own and sometimes other people's boogers!) and "things that I and perhaps also other people will find amazing." I went with the latter.

1. His voice. This is rather cliched to say, as it is what he does. However, I really am quite taken with his voice. I like that he doesn't sound like a singer when he's talking. I like that he has -- warning, I'm not a musical person at all -- he has this very open-throated quality to his singing, where the notes seem shouty at the same time that it's singy. It reminds me a little bit of classic Broadway divas, like Ethel Merman. Here's a recent example.
   
2. His little smile. Not the dopey asshole grin he does, but the little smile he tends to give Quinn in particular. It kills me every time.
   
3. His honesty. Let me admit that none of the bandom characters live what I would call a purely ethical life. At various points, every single person in the groups we slash has said something I find objectionable. This is also true of: my mother, my father, my boyfriend, my best friends, and Jesus.* I fully expect that everyone ever will say or do something objectionable, because that is what people do. This is all to say that Bert is a jackass, and he probably has a lot of wrong opinions (as defined by me, Arbiter of All Things). One thing I like about Bert as a public figure, though, is that he's relentlessly, inappropriately honest, and usually ridiculously earnest. Even when he's being a little sarcastic snotbag, it's oddly earnest. Now, I know I'm alone in this (and I understand why) but when someone tells me that they eat their own boogers, and that they find them delicious, I think that person is adorable.
   
4. His stupid face. I don't understand why other people do not see how cute he is. He's so cute! I just want to squish his face with both my hands and chew on his nose.
   
   ...I will give you a moment to contemplate that incredibly arousing image.
   
5. His bromance with Quinn. How are they still such good friends? The only correct answer is blowjobs and a shared interest in marijuana.

Top five ice cream sundae toppings, suggested by eyescatchfire:

1. Espresso. There is nothing better than a shot of espresso poured over coffee ice cream.
   • SHUT UP, I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM.
     
   • WHY ARE MY TEETH VIBRATING?
     
   • WHO TURNED OFF THE SOUND?
2. Chocolate syrup. I have the taste buds of a punch-drunk donkey, so I really don't care about the quality of the syrup.
   
3. Whipped cream. I kind of prefer home-made whipped cream, but that's because you can make it even sugarier.
   
4. Butterscotch syrup. As with chocolate syrup, the quality does not matter.
   
5. Fresh fruit. Preferably in combination with one of the above. My ideal sundae would include espresso, strawberries, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream.

* - Learn more about my contentious relationship with Jesus in my book, Jesus Called Me a Retard: On Loving an Ableist Messiah, due out next fall.