I called it "doing a solid," and he was like, "well, this is doing a gaseous."
My popoffacork story is now seventeen thousand, five hundred words long, and I have a solid chunk left to write. I've been doing five hundred word chunks in Write or Die, though, so I'm hoping I'll keep knocking it down the way that I have been. It's due the 26th. Ahaha yeep. (wearemany, do you think it needs a backup beta?)
My Yuletide is done, though! And I submitted my grades today!
I've been feeling a little blue, wishing I could just stay home and read books all day every day, but that is not the rockstar way. Tomorrow I plan on going on a date, calling _kestrel_, and writing a lot more of this overly long story somewhere other than my house.
---
Taken from yiskah, who, no matter how much she tries to frown-face, is my secret role model.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Went to Rome, studied abroad, involuntarily watched people having sex, saw Handel's Messiah, adopted a cat, started the exam process, overdrew my bank account by so much money that I passed unhappy and went straight into deliriously amused, hassled J and Pro so much that it was practically a hobby, cried over a gift people gave me (the tickets to NYC), made up a lot of inside jokes with Vharface, read Uncle Tom's Cabin, read Moby Dick, wrote a lot of porn, told people in real life that I write a lot of porn, told someone to stop when they made me feel uncomfortable, turned someone down for sex/relations, got semi-involved with someone, got thoroughly disinvolved with someone, got pinkeye, had a really good friend move to Texas of all places, wrote a bigbang, crowdsurfed, touched Keith Morris, realized Keith Morris is ollllld now, turned 26, taught introduction to literature, danced the pony and the soulja boy dance with my parents on Thanksgiving while my crip grandmother drooled on herself.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Ugh. I hate new year's resolutions. I dislike holidays in general -- Arbitrary markers of time! Standing on tradition for tradition's sake, without knowledge about the history of the tradition! Eat a dick, Santa! I also hate puppies and freedom! -- and I have a really bad memory, so I always forget any resolutions I make. I tend to be driven enough (DID YOU REALIZE YET? BRING ME MY COFFEE AND A VIAL OF COCAINE, THIS PROJECT SHOULD BE DONE TONIGHT.) without any sort of codified impetus to keep me going.
Which is to say that I resolve to use the word "holler" in an ironic fashion more often in 2009.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I love this question, because it always makes me think of proximity, rather than emotional connection. Did anyone give birth right up in your proverbial grill?
Like, you're on the train, minding your own business, reading the Metro, when WHOOP BABY, right in your lap. And the woman hanging from the overhead rail is like, "Sorry about that, dude." And you're like, "crap, these are dry clean only pants." And then WHOOP PLACENTA and the lady is like, "jeez, this is embarrassing," and some old lady hands you a McDonald's napkin, like that's going to help. Stupid old lady.
Like that.
And the answer is no.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
We interred my grandmother's ashy bits, after the scientists were done with her. (She donated her body to science, I am not being a jerk.) There was astroturf and bagpipes. My mom took pictures with her phone.
5. What countries did you visit?
Italia! When I was sixteen or so this giant jackass Hermann told me that I should go to Italy, because it was my kind of place. He was probably insulting me. I am disgruntled by the fact that he was right; it is totally my kind of place. I found the touristy bits less interesting, but the graffiti and the people and the espresso (MY GOD) all spoke to some small shivery creature in my chest.
I also went to Engelonde for a brief respite from Italia and to kiss people.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A big stick. Multi-colored walls (I have summer plans for this). Taking and passing my exams. More books, more more more. More bookshelves, more more more. A sense of positivity that's ongoing, rather than intermittent. I would like to learn how to ignore people who think I suck (when I can't make them stop or change whatever it is that bothers them).
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I have the worst memory of all time and forget all dates. This is why my entire life is kept in anecdote files, rather than dated ones.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Crowdsurfing at a Circle Jerks concert and high-fiving Keith Morris like a total weirdo. What? It was awesome.
9. What was your biggest failure?
One of my students.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not that I can think of. I really have the worst memory, though. I just checked to make sure I hadn't lost a limb or incurred a major scar. As in, I got up and pulled down my pants and pulled up my shirt to double-check.
11. What were the best things you bought?
EXCUSE TO MYSPACE, HOLLER: I bought Threadless t-shirts during that el-cheapo sale they had. (Vharface, I didn't get a clear picture of the one with the parasoling, but I will wear it next time I see you.)
All of the books I bought were totally worth it, too. I think probably the expanded edition of Upton Sinclair's The Jungle will have been the best of them. Five chapters not included in the original edition!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Amanda, J, Vharface, my mom, my dad, everyone who went in on the NYC tickets (I cried, shut up), most of my students, Dr. Lino, Dr. Favorite, Dr. Dangly, people on my friendslist, Tangle, Kestrel.
13. Whose behaviour appalled you?
The usual suspects. The f&ckhead policemen who broke into Sheara's house.
14. Where did most of your money go?
My rent, books, food.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My cat. Teaching intro to literature. My bigbang story. Moby Dick.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
That one with the bleeps and the bloops, with the cow sample.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
I think happier? I went back and looked (worst memory ever, did I mention that, I can't remember) and it seems I'm about the same. This may be the wonders of medication.
ii. thinner or fatter?
Thinner. I forget to eat, which is not what the surgeon general recommends for staying slim.
iii. richer or poorer?
Poorer. Always poorer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Talking to people on the street. Talking to myself. Dancing around on the sidewalk with my walkperson in my hand, going "whoop whoop yeah." (I only did that the once.) Visiting NYC. Telling people to shove off when they deserved it.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Staying up too late for my own good. (See the time stamp.) Getting all hoity-toity academic face about stupid shit. Taking people seriously. Thinking about that AU where ________.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I'll probably head over to the house on the 24th. We'll open presents that night, and then I will sleep in on Crimmas day. My mom will probably have done a stocking, unless she didn't bother, in which case there won't be one. My father and I will watch television and talk about a) the 19th century, b) porn, c) 19th century porn. Then we will go pick up my crip grandmother and take her to a hotel to have Crimmas "dinner" at around lunchtime. She will drool on stuff and call someone fat. We will make fun of her on the way home to show our affection. Then I will go home and kick the cats around.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Moby Dick and my cat both redefined what I mean by the word "love."
23. How many one-night stands?
I was going to say none, but London. Does that count? Or is that a relationship that only kicks into gear when I go to the UK?
24. What was your favorite TV program?
I have seriously not turned on my television in forever, and I'm wondering whether I should even bother to buy the HD hookup that I have a coupon for. The only reason why I'm considering doing so is for Criminal Minds.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Ooh, I recently decided to have an academic nemesis. I'll probably forget who I decided on within the next week, though.
26. What was the best book you read?
Moby Dick. And oh man, I just read this article about how Herman Melville was probably a wife-beater, and it made me want to reread the book. What the actual f&ck.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I rediscovered a lot of woman-led punk this year.
28. What did you want and get?
No death (the first rule is no death). A cat.
29. What did you want and not get?
To teach a women's studies course.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Happy Go Lucky, a Mike Leigh film that deals with obsession and gender conflict in this totally airy, fantastically funny way.
31. What did you do on your birthday?
Went to a bar called Tattooed Mom's with Tangle, flirted madly with everyone, and then called people and cheerfully told them I loved them as we walked to a ridiculous club. On that following weekend, I went to NYC; the best part of my birthday celebration was just me, J, Pro, and Vharface in P Weezy's ridiculous bar.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A big stick. More books. Probably more money, but really, at this point I don't think I would know what to do with more money.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008.
It was so very conceptual.
34. What kept you sane?
Zoloft. My friends and parents. Books. My cat.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Kate Chopin.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election, probably. Ick.
37. Who did you miss?
Kestrel.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
braisedbywolves and khalinche, I think, whom I met for the first time in London. (I met libellum and ultraruby there, too, but that didn't feel like "new," you know? Same goes for you, token non-white friend!) There's a guy named Ted who's making a strong showing for himself right now. Zee and Stereomer(Azn) and Ninja all made an impression, but again, didn't feel "new" as I had already e-stalked them thoroughly.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Your finger shouldn't go there. Stop that.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE (all the girls standing in the)
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM.
Un tss un tss [shuffle] As stereomer put it, I think. Maybe I have the syllables wrong? Whatever. I have to go write Bob getting injured now.
My Yuletide is done, though! And I submitted my grades today!
I've been feeling a little blue, wishing I could just stay home and read books all day every day, but that is not the rockstar way. Tomorrow I plan on going on a date, calling _kestrel_, and writing a lot more of this overly long story somewhere other than my house.
---
Taken from yiskah, who, no matter how much she tries to frown-face, is my secret role model.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Went to Rome, studied abroad, involuntarily watched people having sex, saw Handel's Messiah, adopted a cat, started the exam process, overdrew my bank account by so much money that I passed unhappy and went straight into deliriously amused, hassled J and Pro so much that it was practically a hobby, cried over a gift people gave me (the tickets to NYC), made up a lot of inside jokes with Vharface, read Uncle Tom's Cabin, read Moby Dick, wrote a lot of porn, told people in real life that I write a lot of porn, told someone to stop when they made me feel uncomfortable, turned someone down for sex/relations, got semi-involved with someone, got thoroughly disinvolved with someone, got pinkeye, had a really good friend move to Texas of all places, wrote a bigbang, crowdsurfed, touched Keith Morris, realized Keith Morris is ollllld now, turned 26, taught introduction to literature, danced the pony and the soulja boy dance with my parents on Thanksgiving while my crip grandmother drooled on herself.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Ugh. I hate new year's resolutions. I dislike holidays in general -- Arbitrary markers of time! Standing on tradition for tradition's sake, without knowledge about the history of the tradition! Eat a dick, Santa! I also hate puppies and freedom! -- and I have a really bad memory, so I always forget any resolutions I make. I tend to be driven enough (DID YOU REALIZE YET? BRING ME MY COFFEE AND A VIAL OF COCAINE, THIS PROJECT SHOULD BE DONE TONIGHT.) without any sort of codified impetus to keep me going.
Which is to say that I resolve to use the word "holler" in an ironic fashion more often in 2009.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I love this question, because it always makes me think of proximity, rather than emotional connection. Did anyone give birth right up in your proverbial grill?
Like, you're on the train, minding your own business, reading the Metro, when WHOOP BABY, right in your lap. And the woman hanging from the overhead rail is like, "Sorry about that, dude." And you're like, "crap, these are dry clean only pants." And then WHOOP PLACENTA and the lady is like, "jeez, this is embarrassing," and some old lady hands you a McDonald's napkin, like that's going to help. Stupid old lady.
Like that.
And the answer is no.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
We interred my grandmother's ashy bits, after the scientists were done with her. (She donated her body to science, I am not being a jerk.) There was astroturf and bagpipes. My mom took pictures with her phone.
5. What countries did you visit?
Italia! When I was sixteen or so this giant jackass Hermann told me that I should go to Italy, because it was my kind of place. He was probably insulting me. I am disgruntled by the fact that he was right; it is totally my kind of place. I found the touristy bits less interesting, but the graffiti and the people and the espresso (MY GOD) all spoke to some small shivery creature in my chest.
I also went to Engelonde for a brief respite from Italia and to kiss people.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A big stick. Multi-colored walls (I have summer plans for this). Taking and passing my exams. More books, more more more. More bookshelves, more more more. A sense of positivity that's ongoing, rather than intermittent. I would like to learn how to ignore people who think I suck (when I can't make them stop or change whatever it is that bothers them).
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I have the worst memory of all time and forget all dates. This is why my entire life is kept in anecdote files, rather than dated ones.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Crowdsurfing at a Circle Jerks concert and high-fiving Keith Morris like a total weirdo. What? It was awesome.
9. What was your biggest failure?
One of my students.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not that I can think of. I really have the worst memory, though. I just checked to make sure I hadn't lost a limb or incurred a major scar. As in, I got up and pulled down my pants and pulled up my shirt to double-check.
11. What were the best things you bought?
EXCUSE TO MYSPACE, HOLLER: I bought Threadless t-shirts during that el-cheapo sale they had. (Vharface, I didn't get a clear picture of the one with the parasoling, but I will wear it next time I see you.)
All of the books I bought were totally worth it, too. I think probably the expanded edition of Upton Sinclair's The Jungle will have been the best of them. Five chapters not included in the original edition!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Amanda, J, Vharface, my mom, my dad, everyone who went in on the NYC tickets (I cried, shut up), most of my students, Dr. Lino, Dr. Favorite, Dr. Dangly, people on my friendslist, Tangle, Kestrel.
13. Whose behaviour appalled you?
The usual suspects. The f&ckhead policemen who broke into Sheara's house.
14. Where did most of your money go?
My rent, books, food.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My cat. Teaching intro to literature. My bigbang story. Moby Dick.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
That one with the bleeps and the bloops, with the cow sample.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
I think happier? I went back and looked (worst memory ever, did I mention that, I can't remember) and it seems I'm about the same. This may be the wonders of medication.
ii. thinner or fatter?
Thinner. I forget to eat, which is not what the surgeon general recommends for staying slim.
iii. richer or poorer?
Poorer. Always poorer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Talking to people on the street. Talking to myself. Dancing around on the sidewalk with my walkperson in my hand, going "whoop whoop yeah." (I only did that the once.) Visiting NYC. Telling people to shove off when they deserved it.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Staying up too late for my own good. (See the time stamp.) Getting all hoity-toity academic face about stupid shit. Taking people seriously. Thinking about that AU where ________.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I'll probably head over to the house on the 24th. We'll open presents that night, and then I will sleep in on Crimmas day. My mom will probably have done a stocking, unless she didn't bother, in which case there won't be one. My father and I will watch television and talk about a) the 19th century, b) porn, c) 19th century porn. Then we will go pick up my crip grandmother and take her to a hotel to have Crimmas "dinner" at around lunchtime. She will drool on stuff and call someone fat. We will make fun of her on the way home to show our affection. Then I will go home and kick the cats around.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Moby Dick and my cat both redefined what I mean by the word "love."
23. How many one-night stands?
I was going to say none, but London. Does that count? Or is that a relationship that only kicks into gear when I go to the UK?
24. What was your favorite TV program?
I have seriously not turned on my television in forever, and I'm wondering whether I should even bother to buy the HD hookup that I have a coupon for. The only reason why I'm considering doing so is for Criminal Minds.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Ooh, I recently decided to have an academic nemesis. I'll probably forget who I decided on within the next week, though.
26. What was the best book you read?
Moby Dick. And oh man, I just read this article about how Herman Melville was probably a wife-beater, and it made me want to reread the book. What the actual f&ck.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I rediscovered a lot of woman-led punk this year.
28. What did you want and get?
No death (the first rule is no death). A cat.
29. What did you want and not get?
To teach a women's studies course.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Happy Go Lucky, a Mike Leigh film that deals with obsession and gender conflict in this totally airy, fantastically funny way.
31. What did you do on your birthday?
Went to a bar called Tattooed Mom's with Tangle, flirted madly with everyone, and then called people and cheerfully told them I loved them as we walked to a ridiculous club. On that following weekend, I went to NYC; the best part of my birthday celebration was just me, J, Pro, and Vharface in P Weezy's ridiculous bar.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A big stick. More books. Probably more money, but really, at this point I don't think I would know what to do with more money.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008.
It was so very conceptual.
34. What kept you sane?
Zoloft. My friends and parents. Books. My cat.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Kate Chopin.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election, probably. Ick.
37. Who did you miss?
Kestrel.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
braisedbywolves and khalinche, I think, whom I met for the first time in London. (I met libellum and ultraruby there, too, but that didn't feel like "new," you know? Same goes for you, token non-white friend!) There's a guy named Ted who's making a strong showing for himself right now. Zee and Stereomer(Azn) and Ninja all made an impression, but again, didn't feel "new" as I had already e-stalked them thoroughly.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Your finger shouldn't go there. Stop that.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE (all the girls standing in the)
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM.
Un tss un tss [shuffle] As stereomer put it, I think. Maybe I have the syllables wrong? Whatever. I have to go write Bob getting injured now.