I'm not very good at writing teenagers, I think, because it was a little too recent and I still am afraid of that way of thinking, the kind of adult thinking thoroughly infected with childishness. If that makes any sense? It's definitely squirm-inducing. I'm glad you liked it in spite of that. Thanks.
i was just saying to krit how much i wondered about pete's bootcamp time. and this is so good. that last line, especially. you've got great things happening with pete, here. his daydreaming, and imagination, the hero worship, his temper and the boy kissing.
I'm always amazed by Pete's potential as a character. He hangs out mostly with people younger than him, and he erases a lot of what's affected him at the same time that he puts everything out there with his songs. The boot camp experience is one of those things that gets alluded to, and is part of his bio, but he doesn't talk about it, as far as I'm able to see. I feel like if he were to talk about it, it would probably show a lot of the seeds of the way he is now.
Ouch, indeed. I don't normally write angst; after I finished this I had to sit there and think about how he's fine now, it turned out okay. :) I'm a sap, at heart.
oh, oh, oh, OH. this. is exactly what i've been wanting in a bootcamp fic all this time. he's such a bad kid, except how he's not at all, he's just misplaced. he's a good enough kid that even when things are so awful he finds something that makes him happy and holds onto it like he knows it's the difference between being okay and really being fucked up. i think i actually gasped out loud at jamie going right for the jugular there with his lesson, even though i already trusted a little, in pete's POV, that jamie wasn't a complete asshole who would really take advantage of having seen that so easily.
and i love how you give us here these little germs of pete the poet, pete who draws in and when he does never goes blank but instead sees things like lips are just the edges of an old infected scar. though it's sort of equally painful to admit that in all likelihood, whether it was bootcamp or not, pete's survival via the written word is borne of a pretty deep, dark place.
Thank you; I hoped that you would read this and like it, because I know you're as interested as I am in the boot camp era.
he's a good enough kid that even when things are so awful he finds something that makes him happy and holds onto itI think of Pete as a guy who copes, but he copes through other people. Some of those people are better for him -- Patrick, for instance, and I would even argue Ashlee -- and some are worse. He's very dependent, though, in his own way. (I mean, see his camwhoring, which requires that there be an audience, and that the audience be interested in him and his image
( ... )
He's very dependent, though, in his own way. (I mean, see his camwhoring, which requires that there be an audience, and that the audience be interested in him and his image.)
i agree with this SO MUCH.
I still think about that link you posted a long while ago, about how in a fight both people are right; everyone has a reason for doing what they're doing.
laughing because i always do this, but what link where what huh?
this is unlocked now, yes? because i wanted to rec to someone and hadn't yet.
really again i want to say thanks for posting this, because now that i've had this i don't think i need any other bootcamp fics at all. i just wanted one strong smart take on how it went to fill in the spaces in my head, and now i have it, and it was even better than i'd come close to dreaming of.
I'm kind of obsessed with that dependent aspect of Pete, actually. As well as the age disparity he has with nearly everyone around him. The two may be connected.
The link I was thinking of was one from Jane Espenson's blog (of course). Hah, found it. I am so glad I started a del.icio.us.
And yep, it's unlocked. I'm really pleased if you rec it, of course. And unbelievably pleased that it worked for you; this is one of those stories that I hadn't seen before, and I knew eventually that I was going to have to fill it in myself, just to get my brain to stop whirlagigging around that time period.
I think anyone who has the kind of violence Pete's shown and the kind of depression he's shown has to have had at least some experience like this. Squash it down, somehow.
Thank you so much - I think a lot of my writing in this fandom is groping after those horrible/ecstatic feelings I had as a teenager, and when I get hold of one of them, it's intense and really. I don't know, I guess affirming.
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I like. I like despite squirming a bit.
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i was just saying to krit how much i wondered about pete's bootcamp time. and this is so good. that last line, especially. you've got great things happening with pete, here. his daydreaming, and imagination, the hero worship, his temper and the boy kissing.
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Ouch, indeed. I don't normally write angst; after I finished this I had to sit there and think about how he's fine now, it turned out okay. :) I'm a sap, at heart.
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and i love how you give us here these little germs of pete the poet, pete who draws in and when he does never goes blank but instead sees things like lips are just the edges of an old infected scar. though it's sort of equally painful to admit that in all likelihood, whether it was bootcamp or not, pete's survival via the written word is borne of a pretty deep, dark place.
thanks for posting this, really.
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he's a good enough kid that even when things are so awful he finds something that makes him happy and holds onto itI think of Pete as a guy who copes, but he copes through other people. Some of those people are better for him -- Patrick, for instance, and I would even argue Ashlee -- and some are worse. He's very dependent, though, in his own way. (I mean, see his camwhoring, which requires that there be an audience, and that the audience be interested in him and his image ( ... )
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i agree with this SO MUCH.
I still think about that link you posted a long while ago, about how in a fight both people are right; everyone has a reason for doing what they're doing.
laughing because i always do this, but what link where what huh?
this is unlocked now, yes? because i wanted to rec to someone and hadn't yet.
really again i want to say thanks for posting this, because now that i've had this i don't think i need any other bootcamp fics at all. i just wanted one strong smart take on how it went to fill in the spaces in my head, and now i have it, and it was even better than i'd come close to dreaming of.
Reply
The link I was thinking of was one from Jane Espenson's blog (of course). Hah, found it. I am so glad I started a del.icio.us.
And yep, it's unlocked. I'm really pleased if you rec it, of course. And unbelievably pleased that it worked for you; this is one of those stories that I hadn't seen before, and I knew eventually that I was going to have to fill it in myself, just to get my brain to stop whirlagigging around that time period.
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Thank you so much - I think a lot of my writing in this fandom is groping after those horrible/ecstatic feelings I had as a teenager, and when I get hold of one of them, it's intense and really. I don't know, I guess affirming.
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And your icon, sweet lord.
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