My current state
I hate posting same day entries. Yet I have been unable to stop my thoughts. I keep wanting to contact him. I keep calling others his name. How retarded is that? I mean it hasn't even been that long. To make matters worse he 'liked' one of my statuses on facebook. He then 'poked' me too. Is that to be construed as hope? Or should I take that as friendly banter? I haven't received any text messages. Am I too obsessive? Probably. I think that might be because my ideal future is on the line with his decision.
I know there will be future loves if things don't workout. I just wish he would let me know the situation. I swear I have very little willpower and it makes me feel weak. I shouldn't be this absorbed over this. Granted that could also be boredom. The boredom is so intense that I can't determine if my pining over this situation is really true or not.
I also keep thinking about how much I wish I could get something more significant. It is so hard for me to think that I can't contact him till the Fall semester. I sound like a mad-woman. I should seriously stop. Granted it is better to let my thoughts out through this emo-blog of mine than to start calling him non-stop. Right???
Now I am just rambling. I really don't like being at my parent's house. It seriously brings out the crazy in me. Granted I would probably still be feeling these things at my house. *shrugs*
Whatever happens happens. I feel like I have been having mood swings throughout this entire post therefore I will stop commenting.
I know there will be future loves if things don't workout. I just wish he would let me know the situation. I swear I have very little willpower and it makes me feel weak. I shouldn't be this absorbed over this. Granted that could also be boredom. The boredom is so intense that I can't determine if my pining over this situation is really true or not.
I also keep thinking about how much I wish I could get something more significant. It is so hard for me to think that I can't contact him till the Fall semester. I sound like a mad-woman. I should seriously stop. Granted it is better to let my thoughts out through this emo-blog of mine than to start calling him non-stop. Right???
Now I am just rambling. I really don't like being at my parent's house. It seriously brings out the crazy in me. Granted I would probably still be feeling these things at my house. *shrugs*
Whatever happens happens. I feel like I have been having mood swings throughout this entire post therefore I will stop commenting.