dramatic emotions below
So Saturday Liam broke up with me.
I am crushed. He just said straight out I think we should be friends. I didn't know how to react. I just cried. We have been together for 20 months now, which for those who can't do the math is one year and eight months. We were laying in bed and he was holding me and was like "we need to talk". FUCK. I honestly don't know what to do. He went from being my boyfriend to a complete stranger in a second, he didn't even look the same after that. I couldnt bring myself to look him in the eye, I just cried. Here I am, stupid me, thinking that everything is great, that I have this perfect boyfriend who loves me and I love him, that we could potentially spend the rest of our lives together, and there he is, thinking that he cant stand to be with me any longer. How do you fall out of love with someone? Someone who spends 4 niughts a week in the same bed as you, someone you cuddle up with and kiss and actually tell them multiple times a day you love them? I just dont get it. I actually had to pack up all my things and go home. Thank god I have paige because she drove all the way out there and followed me home doing 35 because I was crying so hard I couldnt see the road. I feel so stupid for letting myself be hurt. This is why I don't open up to anyone, this is exactly why I am ice when it comes to emotions. What did I do wrong? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not thin enough? I thought we were doing good, we didnt fight, we didnt have any problems. I WISH THERE WERE PROBLEMS THEN I WOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING. But nope, out of the fucking blue. I dont know what to do with myself now. I dont know if I should cry, throw something, or call him. He was my best friend. WE did everythign together, so I want to call him and tell him how I feel, but I can't. I mean I could, but I shouldnt. I dont want to date other guys, I'm not attracted to other guys. And if there is antoher fucking girl and I find out that he cheated on me, I will fucking kill him. I am so goddamn serious about that.
Just tell me what to do to make it easier. Tell me how to make my heart hurt, and how to make my chest feel lighter. The scary thing is, I think I almost have myself convinced that I actually felt the same way, you know, that we were more friends. But I NEVER thought breaking up was a possibility.
I'm just so confused.
please call me with plans, I can't sit home and think about this.
I am crushed. He just said straight out I think we should be friends. I didn't know how to react. I just cried. We have been together for 20 months now, which for those who can't do the math is one year and eight months. We were laying in bed and he was holding me and was like "we need to talk". FUCK. I honestly don't know what to do. He went from being my boyfriend to a complete stranger in a second, he didn't even look the same after that. I couldnt bring myself to look him in the eye, I just cried. Here I am, stupid me, thinking that everything is great, that I have this perfect boyfriend who loves me and I love him, that we could potentially spend the rest of our lives together, and there he is, thinking that he cant stand to be with me any longer. How do you fall out of love with someone? Someone who spends 4 niughts a week in the same bed as you, someone you cuddle up with and kiss and actually tell them multiple times a day you love them? I just dont get it. I actually had to pack up all my things and go home. Thank god I have paige because she drove all the way out there and followed me home doing 35 because I was crying so hard I couldnt see the road. I feel so stupid for letting myself be hurt. This is why I don't open up to anyone, this is exactly why I am ice when it comes to emotions. What did I do wrong? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not thin enough? I thought we were doing good, we didnt fight, we didnt have any problems. I WISH THERE WERE PROBLEMS THEN I WOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING. But nope, out of the fucking blue. I dont know what to do with myself now. I dont know if I should cry, throw something, or call him. He was my best friend. WE did everythign together, so I want to call him and tell him how I feel, but I can't. I mean I could, but I shouldnt. I dont want to date other guys, I'm not attracted to other guys. And if there is antoher fucking girl and I find out that he cheated on me, I will fucking kill him. I am so goddamn serious about that.
Just tell me what to do to make it easier. Tell me how to make my heart hurt, and how to make my chest feel lighter. The scary thing is, I think I almost have myself convinced that I actually felt the same way, you know, that we were more friends. But I NEVER thought breaking up was a possibility.
I'm just so confused.
please call me with plans, I can't sit home and think about this.