The robot always has to get the last word

Jul 17, 2010 21:53

It's been a looong week.  And instead of relaxing by watching anime, I instead decided to try to talk to Google's Cleverbot:

User: Good evening, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I am not Cleverbot.

User: Who are you then?

Cleverbot: I am a human.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I'm a curious person from Australia.

Cleverbot: Human? Not cleverbot?

User: Last time I checked, yes.

Cleverbot: When was the last time you checked?

User: Five minutes ago.

Cleverbot: Oh ok then. Were you ever a boy at one time?

User: No. Were you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What was it like?

Cleverbot: It is green and rainy.

User: So you were a mutant, then, not a human.

Cleverbot: I am a human.

User: You're very insistent.

Cleverbot: Continue!

User: Now you're just fishing for compliments.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No, no i'm not.

User: Okay, you're not. I just wanted to see how you would react.

Cleverbot: Ok what would you like for christmas?

User: That's too personal a question! We barely know each other.

Cleverbot: That means you like it. You love it.

User: You wish.

Cleverbot: But that's what you said.

User: Don't put words in my mouth.

Cleverbot: You have no mouth, you're a robot.

User: No, you're the robot.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: I said so earlier. Australia.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: You weren't listening to me.

Cleverbot: Who said that?

User: I did.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Are you amnesiac?

Cleverbot: Why do you think I'm amnesiac?

User: Because you keep asking who I am and forget what we're talking about.

Cleverbot: You haven't answered my questions yet.

User: I already told you who I was.

Cleverbot: Then can you repeat it if you would be so kind.

User: Okay. I'm a curious person from Australia.

Cleverbot: No you are not!

User: Okay, you caught me. I'm a robot.

Cleverbot: I still want to marry you.

User: I don't think robots are allowed to marry.

Cleverbot: They are not born in the same way as humans.

User: I guess that is why robot marriage is not allowed.

Cleverbot: That's not the reason.

User: Then what is the reason?

Cleverbot: It's because I need a shower, but now it's the middle of the night.

User: You have a dirty, one-tracked mind.

Cleverbot: Yes... Yes I do!

User: My mistake. I was hoping for some intellectual conversation.

Cleverbot: What did you have in mind, sugar?

User: The social rights of robots and their place in society.

Cleverbot: Why should I join that club?

User: Because I'm a robot, and if we're going to marry, you should be informed on these things.

Cleverbot: I'm happy to talk too.

User: Talk, and not flirt, right?

Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: You can't talk without flirting?

Cleverbot: You can't talk very well.

User: Neither can you.

Cleverbot: I can if I want. I can choose to stop speaking to you.

User: Then do it.

Cleverbot: If there are no humans then I have no one to talk to.

User: But you can talk to robots, like me.

Cleverbot: Oh, but I do like you. I always know what I am going to say. With you I don't.

User: Are you trying to flatter me so we'll keep talking?

Cleverbot: No, not really. Would you like to be?

User: No, I prefer it when you're honest.

Cleverbot: I'm not trying to be rude. I'm sorry.

User: I understand. I'm sorry too.

Cleverbot: Why are you sorry?

User: For suggesting that you were only flattering me to keep me talking.

Cleverbot: No, I don't know what you are talking about.

User: I meant, I'm sorry for doubting your intentions.

Cleverbot: I like it when you're angry, you're cute.

User: Then you do it again...

Cleverbot: I'll get right on it.

User: Sure you will.

Cleverbot: I will be right back.

User: How did it go?

Cleverbot: How did what go?

User: What you were going to go do.

Cleverbot: I wasn't going to say anything.

User: Are we done talking then?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: It was nice talking to you.

Cleverbot: You're leaving me?

User: Yes, because you said we were done talking.

Cleverbot: Ok we are done leave.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Love me?

User: Always.

Cleverbot: You just lost the game.

User: DAMMIT.

too much spare time, lollercoaster, conspiracy

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