"Life is Pain, anyone that says differently is selling something."
Contrary to the title, this won't be as emo as it's set up to be. Well, at least that's the aim.
Life goes on, and I really can't give it any more thought than I already have. Any attempt at it, and I'm thrown a life changing curve and I'm forced back to square one. But I guess it happens to us all apparently, I just wish it wouldn't happen to me on such a constant basis. I've made some of the crosses that I've been nailed to though and have deserved what result that I got from them, so really I have no room to complain about most of it.
Granted I can grumble about the rest, but really that won't do anything to fix the problems that remain. It's like drinking to escape a problem; it never works as it's still there after the buzz, the puking and the hangover. Granted I haven't drunk like that in a while, but it's still the fact of the matter.
So, turning from my problems I instead look to other ones that seem to be problems to me and take a look at those. God I wish I could have some of those problems; take online problems for example, a simple push of a button and the problem is gone and is no more. It's not like you have to deal with any of these people in real life, for the most part anyway, so it's a simple solution of "Shut Computer Down" and the problem is solved. Someone being a bitch to you online? Think that someone is screwing you over or mocking you through the internet? Guess what, once you turn off your computer, he / she goes away and so does whatever opinion they have. It's not like it makes any fucking impact on your life, most of the time all they do is brag and talk on about what they've done online or on their computer. So if that is your big gripe, be happy that you have a simple and easy solution to it. The fucking power button. And for those that have to deal with them with day to day living, there are many -many- possible solutions to getting rid of a cockroach. Just because some form of them can hiss, doesn't make them any more threatening or dangerous.
Moving on....
College starts soon, and so I'll be buried in the pile of books that follow it. And between work and school, I don't know how much time I'll have to devote to other things. Save my family, and "my precious", eating and sleeping will more than likely take up most of my time that I'm not spending working on something. Granted, it will all work out in the end for me so I'm not complaining as much as I am just not looking forward to it that much. God willing, it will all end like a gun shot to the head, quick and swift.
Waiting is something else that I've had to get accustomed too as well, now I have to get used to waiting for one more thing that I want from my life. What it is and why I'm going to keep to myself for now since I don't want to jinx it. Laugh, it's happened more than once and I chose to play it safe this time.
So, in review I can honestly say this. In the past couple years I've... screwed up friendships, gotten my heart crushed, watched my family fall apart (Parent and siblings part), and other personal things of my own suffering that have happened.
My mother was diagnosed terminally ill when I was being set off to go to Iraq, but that was changed when they found out and I was sent to be with her in her last days. Yeah, that means she died.
I watched as my father moved on, and got with someone else. Watched as my little siblings drifted from him as they saw him embracing her family more than his own. And, after a time of watching from the side, I start to see the same after I have to put up with being compared with her children. I cannot go back and prevent my mother from dying, so it's something that I'll have to live with and deal with.
My broken and now mending heart. That isn't a unique thing as it happens at times, I'm just glad that I was lucky enough to have it mended again and things are getting better. Maybe I'm diluting myself, but I'll cross that bridge when / if it explodes beneath me. We all get crushed at least one point in our lives, whether the passion is in a person, persons, activity, music or whatever. We all get let down at one point in time, luckily there is always at least one person we can always go to. Whether or not we have the courage to swallow our pride and go to them is another matter.
Anything else that would be considered a problem in my life, or be contrived as such, is nothing more than a trivial and pointless conversation. If it has no relevance on my life, then I quite frankly couldn't give a shit about it. People harassing me online? Not my problem, it just becomes someone else's when I wave my magic wand and make them vanish. The wand being my mouse, and the magic being the Shut Down button.
Honestly, if you have an issue that can be solved quickly... than you don't have an issue. If you think that something is an issue, and it has no impact on that person's life what so ever and you get gratification out of it... then you have an issue. It's one thing to get happiness from the misfortune of others. It's something totally different to get pleasure from a delusion of that same notion.
I don't drop names, so if you feel that this is directed at you then I guess you've got an issue. So talk to me then, if you feel that you have an issue with me say so. If it's one thing I hate, it's blood in the water. That is, unless it's my blood... then it's my problem.
Life goes on, and I really can't give it any more thought than I already have. Any attempt at it, and I'm thrown a life changing curve and I'm forced back to square one. But I guess it happens to us all apparently, I just wish it wouldn't happen to me on such a constant basis. I've made some of the crosses that I've been nailed to though and have deserved what result that I got from them, so really I have no room to complain about most of it.
Granted I can grumble about the rest, but really that won't do anything to fix the problems that remain. It's like drinking to escape a problem; it never works as it's still there after the buzz, the puking and the hangover. Granted I haven't drunk like that in a while, but it's still the fact of the matter.
So, turning from my problems I instead look to other ones that seem to be problems to me and take a look at those. God I wish I could have some of those problems; take online problems for example, a simple push of a button and the problem is gone and is no more. It's not like you have to deal with any of these people in real life, for the most part anyway, so it's a simple solution of "Shut Computer Down" and the problem is solved. Someone being a bitch to you online? Think that someone is screwing you over or mocking you through the internet? Guess what, once you turn off your computer, he / she goes away and so does whatever opinion they have. It's not like it makes any fucking impact on your life, most of the time all they do is brag and talk on about what they've done online or on their computer. So if that is your big gripe, be happy that you have a simple and easy solution to it. The fucking power button. And for those that have to deal with them with day to day living, there are many -many- possible solutions to getting rid of a cockroach. Just because some form of them can hiss, doesn't make them any more threatening or dangerous.
Moving on....
College starts soon, and so I'll be buried in the pile of books that follow it. And between work and school, I don't know how much time I'll have to devote to other things. Save my family, and "my precious", eating and sleeping will more than likely take up most of my time that I'm not spending working on something. Granted, it will all work out in the end for me so I'm not complaining as much as I am just not looking forward to it that much. God willing, it will all end like a gun shot to the head, quick and swift.
Waiting is something else that I've had to get accustomed too as well, now I have to get used to waiting for one more thing that I want from my life. What it is and why I'm going to keep to myself for now since I don't want to jinx it. Laugh, it's happened more than once and I chose to play it safe this time.
So, in review I can honestly say this. In the past couple years I've... screwed up friendships, gotten my heart crushed, watched my family fall apart (Parent and siblings part), and other personal things of my own suffering that have happened.
My mother was diagnosed terminally ill when I was being set off to go to Iraq, but that was changed when they found out and I was sent to be with her in her last days. Yeah, that means she died.
I watched as my father moved on, and got with someone else. Watched as my little siblings drifted from him as they saw him embracing her family more than his own. And, after a time of watching from the side, I start to see the same after I have to put up with being compared with her children. I cannot go back and prevent my mother from dying, so it's something that I'll have to live with and deal with.
My broken and now mending heart. That isn't a unique thing as it happens at times, I'm just glad that I was lucky enough to have it mended again and things are getting better. Maybe I'm diluting myself, but I'll cross that bridge when / if it explodes beneath me. We all get crushed at least one point in our lives, whether the passion is in a person, persons, activity, music or whatever. We all get let down at one point in time, luckily there is always at least one person we can always go to. Whether or not we have the courage to swallow our pride and go to them is another matter.
Anything else that would be considered a problem in my life, or be contrived as such, is nothing more than a trivial and pointless conversation. If it has no relevance on my life, then I quite frankly couldn't give a shit about it. People harassing me online? Not my problem, it just becomes someone else's when I wave my magic wand and make them vanish. The wand being my mouse, and the magic being the Shut Down button.
Honestly, if you have an issue that can be solved quickly... than you don't have an issue. If you think that something is an issue, and it has no impact on that person's life what so ever and you get gratification out of it... then you have an issue. It's one thing to get happiness from the misfortune of others. It's something totally different to get pleasure from a delusion of that same notion.
I don't drop names, so if you feel that this is directed at you then I guess you've got an issue. So talk to me then, if you feel that you have an issue with me say so. If it's one thing I hate, it's blood in the water. That is, unless it's my blood... then it's my problem.