Drug free, the way to be?
one early morning, 902 dollars later, and 12 months of probation to follow, I'm free.
well, I'm not really sure if "free" is a word that dictates me entirely. free from some unnecessary accumulated stress? yes. free in terms of the law? no. I'm now a component, a statistic. I'll be going away to school, 1.5 hours away in late August, with constant worry that I'm going to get in trouble. If I get in an ounce of trouble, I violate probation and my conditional discharge. For someone that threw parties at her house every weekend, every weekday for a while, for one who drove around in cars blazing blunts with cops right behind her, thinking "oh, not me," well, how could I be so blind? I mocked others for getting caught, until I realized how easy it was.
A brake light out, turned into failure to maintain vehicle lamps, and a drive home from "free-movie night" turned into a ride that wasn't so "free" after all. Possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia.
Yeah, I'm that girl. been smoking weed and drinking since 7th grade, always hanging out with the "wrong crowd." Hell, I AM the so-called "wrong crowd." The girl parents would warn their children about, the bad apple. The reason I stopped for three years solid? I had motivation. I had someone that cared more about me, for me and not the superficial "me" that people found a source of entertainment in. When that ended, I started again, and it didn't last long because for once in my life, I got caught.
for a drug that has no addictive properties, this psychological dependence is slowly but surely killing me.
I inhale now, not with hopes of getting ripped out of my mind with a blunt in my mouth, but with hopes that when I exhale this oh too pristine air, that I'll feel some pressure escape from the confines of my chest.
well, I'm not really sure if "free" is a word that dictates me entirely. free from some unnecessary accumulated stress? yes. free in terms of the law? no. I'm now a component, a statistic. I'll be going away to school, 1.5 hours away in late August, with constant worry that I'm going to get in trouble. If I get in an ounce of trouble, I violate probation and my conditional discharge. For someone that threw parties at her house every weekend, every weekday for a while, for one who drove around in cars blazing blunts with cops right behind her, thinking "oh, not me," well, how could I be so blind? I mocked others for getting caught, until I realized how easy it was.
A brake light out, turned into failure to maintain vehicle lamps, and a drive home from "free-movie night" turned into a ride that wasn't so "free" after all. Possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia.
Yeah, I'm that girl. been smoking weed and drinking since 7th grade, always hanging out with the "wrong crowd." Hell, I AM the so-called "wrong crowd." The girl parents would warn their children about, the bad apple. The reason I stopped for three years solid? I had motivation. I had someone that cared more about me, for me and not the superficial "me" that people found a source of entertainment in. When that ended, I started again, and it didn't last long because for once in my life, I got caught.
for a drug that has no addictive properties, this psychological dependence is slowly but surely killing me.
I inhale now, not with hopes of getting ripped out of my mind with a blunt in my mouth, but with hopes that when I exhale this oh too pristine air, that I'll feel some pressure escape from the confines of my chest.