(no subject)
I don't know what the Lord was thinking when He took that beautiful, beautiful girl from us. It doesn't make sense, and it sure as hell didn't happen for a reason. Sometimes I wonder if we're all just out here on our own, creating our own demise with the decisions we make. Because if that was all part of a plan, then you can just count me out because I don't want anything to do with it.
It's true that Alysha wasn't one of my best friends; in fact I didn't really know her that well. But I had hung out in groups with her, seen her at Emily's house, been in a group with her at a football game, hung with her and her friends at the levee, and talked to her at Friday's. Laughed at her and Jackie. Seen her face across from me, eating mozzerella sticks. Known that she was one of my best friend's close friend, and we all had plans coming up.
Ordinarily she wouldn't seem like my "type" of friend. I don't hang out with or get along with too many girls. But I'm going to try my hardest not to feel like that anymore. I'm not going to be so picky about who I'm around. I say this because in the summer, when I did hang out with them a lot, it took me several times to get used to them. I regret that a lot. I'm going to love other girls, even if they don't love me, because I am different than they are. That's sort of my promise to her, even though she didn't know me that well.
I'm also going to stop wallowing in self pity and quit complaining. Even though I still feel unsatisfied and unhappy, it's all just petty next to this. I love you all so so much, and I want each and every one of you to know that.
It's true that Alysha wasn't one of my best friends; in fact I didn't really know her that well. But I had hung out in groups with her, seen her at Emily's house, been in a group with her at a football game, hung with her and her friends at the levee, and talked to her at Friday's. Laughed at her and Jackie. Seen her face across from me, eating mozzerella sticks. Known that she was one of my best friend's close friend, and we all had plans coming up.
Ordinarily she wouldn't seem like my "type" of friend. I don't hang out with or get along with too many girls. But I'm going to try my hardest not to feel like that anymore. I'm not going to be so picky about who I'm around. I say this because in the summer, when I did hang out with them a lot, it took me several times to get used to them. I regret that a lot. I'm going to love other girls, even if they don't love me, because I am different than they are. That's sort of my promise to her, even though she didn't know me that well.
I'm also going to stop wallowing in self pity and quit complaining. Even though I still feel unsatisfied and unhappy, it's all just petty next to this. I love you all so so much, and I want each and every one of you to know that.