Important Question in my mind

[sinisteralexiel]

I want to fucking know what I am sent to do on this fucking planet.. no matter what I cant ever.. find anything to do with anything.. my entire life growing up I thought and thought and thought more what I wanted.. to do with my life and I still havent found anything.. And I hurt people feelings. and I cant even fucking control it.. and im crying... nobody can fucking give me advice.. I have been getting out but that isnt working neither.. people cant fucking tell me I cant go through life through someone else.. anymore cause that is the only thing that seems to make me smile just a little bit.. and bad things just happen to me and they continue to do so.. and I fall for impossible loves.. and I made the biggest mistake hurting Rune last December and I cant just go back and fucking fix it.. I keep making mistakes.. damn it.. im only fucking human.. as much as I wish I can change things this time I fucking cant im so damn tired..of being alone.. locked in my room away from everything. People thinks they know whats best for me..when the real truth is.. I can only do that for myself..and I cant even do that.. right.. I fuckin find it funny I can say so much shit to help people out..but I cant even fucking help myself. I really hate myself..just pure hatred..I ruin the best things I ever get going for myself.heh..maybe I should
write a poem.. suddenly..beginning to think of one..maybe be in my next entry..but I wanna think of one..im so sick of what seems to be an eternal depression..and tears.. I dont wanna take what im feeling anymore. I dont want anyone critizing me or.. telling me what to do anymore..bah..the kitty rubbing all over me.. dont feel like typing anymore..here..I just feel like I made a very big mistake and im hoping I dont end up regreting it..*sigh*