couples_therapy - 5.2 How much do you trust your partner?
Comm: couples_therapy
Verse: paradisa
Word Count: 372
How much do I trust him? That's not the easiest question to ask - we've our share of secrets that we keep from each other. We lie, we go behind each other's backs, we manipulate, obfuscate, indulge in delusion. Trust is something we have in the barest quantities.
Most relationships are based on trust. Of course, trust is not all encompassing, but in general, one is expected to trust the person they are entangled with. They should assume that they are being told the truth, that they are not being deceived for some obscure goal. The first reactionary thoughts to a situation should not be negative or suspicious. This is generally considered to be the basis of a healthy relationship - trust.
That level of trust is an impossibility between us. I know he doesn't trust me as well as he thinks he does. He allows me to harm him, certainly, but any sudden movements, anything he cannot rapidly defend or expect and he starts - he seizes. It fades just as quickly as it strikes, but I can see it.
Oppositely, I trust only a handful of the reassurances he gives me. He tells me he won't leave - which is a lie. He tells me he'll not 'betray' me or some such - which is again a lie. He says what he needs to keep me within his sphere of influence. I've no reason to trust that any of these are sincere. I've no reason to trust him with anything.
And yet I trust him with my life. Strange, isn't it? Contradictory, perhaps. I trust him with next to nothing, but should I ever find myself in a situation where I may face my own death, I can count on him to do something to prevent it. It's very useful, though even I don't quite understand it. On basic terms, yes, I can understand the difference between physical trust and emotional trust but... ah, I suppose it's nothing of import.
I doubt no amount of analysis can properly explain the degrees of trust between us - what applies where and what doesn't. Too much time and history between us for anything accurate.
Give me a hundred years. Perhaps then I'll have figured out all the nuances.
Verse: paradisa
Word Count: 372
How much do I trust him? That's not the easiest question to ask - we've our share of secrets that we keep from each other. We lie, we go behind each other's backs, we manipulate, obfuscate, indulge in delusion. Trust is something we have in the barest quantities.
Most relationships are based on trust. Of course, trust is not all encompassing, but in general, one is expected to trust the person they are entangled with. They should assume that they are being told the truth, that they are not being deceived for some obscure goal. The first reactionary thoughts to a situation should not be negative or suspicious. This is generally considered to be the basis of a healthy relationship - trust.
That level of trust is an impossibility between us. I know he doesn't trust me as well as he thinks he does. He allows me to harm him, certainly, but any sudden movements, anything he cannot rapidly defend or expect and he starts - he seizes. It fades just as quickly as it strikes, but I can see it.
Oppositely, I trust only a handful of the reassurances he gives me. He tells me he won't leave - which is a lie. He tells me he'll not 'betray' me or some such - which is again a lie. He says what he needs to keep me within his sphere of influence. I've no reason to trust that any of these are sincere. I've no reason to trust him with anything.
And yet I trust him with my life. Strange, isn't it? Contradictory, perhaps. I trust him with next to nothing, but should I ever find myself in a situation where I may face my own death, I can count on him to do something to prevent it. It's very useful, though even I don't quite understand it. On basic terms, yes, I can understand the difference between physical trust and emotional trust but... ah, I suppose it's nothing of import.
I doubt no amount of analysis can properly explain the degrees of trust between us - what applies where and what doesn't. Too much time and history between us for anything accurate.
Give me a hundred years. Perhaps then I'll have figured out all the nuances.