You don’t have to say you’re sorry
Originally published at Disjunction. You can comment here or there.
About a week ago, Brandy and I took a look at a house for sale that had a very appealing location. We’re passing on it because the house needs far too much work.
But during the showing, I was talking with the realtor and mentioned some of the challenges we would face in the house because we have a son in a wheelchair.
As soon as I said “our son is in a wheelchair”, he interrupted me to say, “Oh, I’m so sorry!”
This happens frequently, and I get it - people just don’t know how to react to that info. So I’m here to help. Here’s a quick guide towards an appropriate reaction:
- If “in a wheelchair” is said in the middle of a sentence and is said matter-of-factly, that means the speaker is cool with it and does not need your empathy. Don’t interrupt, and don’t evoke pity.
- If “in a wheelchair” is at the end of a sentence and is said with some emotion while being followed by a dramatic pause, go ahead with the sorry. The speaker is looking for it.
- If “in a wheelchair” is yelled while the speaker is pounding on your car window, it means you parked too close to the van accessible space and the driver can’t get the wheelchair ramp down and get his son out of the car because you park like an idiot. No sorry required, just move your ass.
That should cover most of the scenarios in which one would have to deal with a sudden revelation of disability. If you encounter any others and find yourself at a loss for an appropriate response, please feel free to consult me for further guidance.