New Years etc etc

[sinikiwe]

I really don't feel the need to follow in everyone else’s footsteps and fill out one of the glorious surveys. But I will take a moment to comment on my feelings about this year and this coming year. I have been toying with the idea of quitting quitting what you may ask well my job at Wegmans. The problem is even though it’s miserable for me I just can not bring myself to do it. The main reason I bother staying is because Mike writes me cute love notes that help me get through the day. But not really even because of that it’s just whenever anything else gets bad I always have work. I can be tanking in life, tanking in school but as long as I can do a kick ass job at work then that’s all that mattered. If you're thinking Niki you fool you already have another job well this indeed is true. But the fact of the matter is I just can't give up two years of my like. Next you're probably thinking to yourself how this involves new year exactly well I shall enlighten you. I really don't like looking back at a whole year and deciding it was shitting or superb. There are always going to be the times when things aren't going to hot and you just have to take it in stride. I did however learn something this year.. One of them being I could fall in love wow I know it sounds lame but its true. I was indeed the biggest skeptic about love but I can not say I feel that way any more. That’s all I am going to say about that though because I don't want to bore you kids to death. I also found out it is really hard to succeed in something when you have no one rooting for you. Like when I played in powder puff and my own parents didn’t even take the time out to see me. Or when I spent a whole semester taking an art class and listening to my art teacher tell me that I am wasting my time. Maybe that’s why I am so scared about getting into college I mean I always thought I was relatively smart. Granted I am no Asad Quadir but still I always thought I would be able to get in somewhere. Now I am just not sure I don’t want to waste my life trying to do something that I just might not be cut out to do. I just don’t want to stay here I need to leave. I don’t want to end up being one of those people that say they are going to CCC and then transferring and then never do. They spend their lives in corning not like there is anything wrong with this it’s just not what I envisioned for myself. I am afraid of being a laughing stock not that its not something I haven’t felt before I just don’t want feel it again……… I also learned this year that I am not much into the drinking scene I can confidently say I have only ever drunk twice in my entire life. I got piss drunk in France and then again at Sam Vogel’s house and honestly I still don’t get the thrill. I have seen Mike drunk quite a few times and I have been to many parties but mostly I just feel like a wallflower. I mean I would rather go out and dance myself silly then spend every weekend getting piss drunk. That’s me I am not passing judgment on people who drink all the time for me there just isn’t the thrill there. Don’t take this to say that I am never going to drink again either but I really don’t see myself getting into that scene until I go to college………
Something else I learned this year is I could do something on my own without my parents approval. When I started applying to colleges they wanted me to pick schools that they thought were top notch. I think they figured out if I am not happy then I am not going to succeed. I also got my nose pierced which they weren’t to happy with but I am pretty sure they still love me.
Lastly I realized no matter how smooth you think you are never give your number to guys who work at blockbuster. It never turns out for the better even if it does prove you have humongous balls muwah.