journal time
It's been so busy the past couple months with my practicum. I'm going to meet up with my preceptor shortly to go over my evaluation. I was unsuccessful in this attempt in long-term care. Although I've improved over time in the course, I'm just not fast/efficient enough at what I'm doing. In general, I don't feel that I'm cut out for work in any fast-paced environment. When choosing long-term care as my option for practicum, I didn't really know what I was getting in to and had some misconceptions about it (especially about the pace of work). Medical was another option, but I know from experience that it's also not a good fit. I didn't feel so good about the surgical option either and am not sure about community health. I think that community health would consist of going to client's homes for wound care or other treatments, but maybe I should find out more. I had a placement in public health once that went well; it was mostly a desk job with some educational pieces that were to be done out in the community. I doubt though that public health would be an option though as I would likely not have the opportunity to meet many of the competencies required to pass. I didn't see mental health as an option, but haven't inquired about it to the program coordinator. I mentioned it to my instructor, but she noted that the program is geared towards generalized nursing and that it may also be difficult to meet all the required competencies, although some students have been allowed to have practicum in "specialized areas". I feel that it may be my only hope to get back to work, so I'm definitely going to request it. I should also get in touch with disability services again as it was noted that modified programs/course may be possible.
Although I have to go through the evaluation with my preceptor still, my instructor noted that the areas of difficulty for me seemed to be:
1. the pace (on evening shifts, nurses are responsible for 30 residents and about 15-20 on days. I was working towards being able to stick to the schedule for the routine stuff- meds and treatments, but when extra things were to come up, it would usually throw me off)
2. organization (which she related to the pace; if I had more time to think through what I'm supposed to be doing, I don't think it would have been so problematic)
3. preparedness (compared with previous clinical experiences through school, there was pretty much no time to review things while on shift. I didn't realize that I was expected to know how to do so much, so I should have spent more time reviewing things at home prior to the practicum, rather than just reviewing as things came up. The experience was more about performance than learning to do things again and I guess in retrospect that makes sense as this is a Refresher Program, but this wasn't really stated anywhere in the course handbook.)
I think I'm doing OK with this, as it wasn't a surprise that I didn't pass. But it's frustrating and I feel like I'm letting my family down. My parents have been financially supporting my education and everyone's just waiting for me to get back on my feet. I feel like things have to work out somehow, but there's always that possibility that it won't work out in terms of getting back to my career. So I'm left with "then what?" and "what a waste". One step at a time though.
Although I have to go through the evaluation with my preceptor still, my instructor noted that the areas of difficulty for me seemed to be:
1. the pace (on evening shifts, nurses are responsible for 30 residents and about 15-20 on days. I was working towards being able to stick to the schedule for the routine stuff- meds and treatments, but when extra things were to come up, it would usually throw me off)
2. organization (which she related to the pace; if I had more time to think through what I'm supposed to be doing, I don't think it would have been so problematic)
3. preparedness (compared with previous clinical experiences through school, there was pretty much no time to review things while on shift. I didn't realize that I was expected to know how to do so much, so I should have spent more time reviewing things at home prior to the practicum, rather than just reviewing as things came up. The experience was more about performance than learning to do things again and I guess in retrospect that makes sense as this is a Refresher Program, but this wasn't really stated anywhere in the course handbook.)
I think I'm doing OK with this, as it wasn't a surprise that I didn't pass. But it's frustrating and I feel like I'm letting my family down. My parents have been financially supporting my education and everyone's just waiting for me to get back on my feet. I feel like things have to work out somehow, but there's always that possibility that it won't work out in terms of getting back to my career. So I'm left with "then what?" and "what a waste". One step at a time though.