[CLOSED]

[sfx_balls]

who ; Jack Noir and Raimi Matthews
what ; Jack is kind of stranded. Help?
where ; ...whatever zone Striderhaus is in :Ia
when ; Backdated to Sunday
warning(s) ; Swearing, swearing everywhere.

Comments

[fuckinghubble]

While Raimi didn’t mind being temporarily fused in the physiology of a living Program, it was good to be inside of his very normal, very human body. Programs were meant to be Programs, just like how people were meant to be people.

It was a learning experience, though. One that maybe Raimi needed in order to understand. Why every night was the same. Fighting in this war of attrition; in the weight of his lucid dreams; the flooded files lost in the dam of his memory - all coming back to him now. He just needed to keep his head above water long enough to crack the code; decipher the enigma.

And it was in front of him this entire time.

Only to discover that he hadn’t been paying that close attention to what was below, when his feet accidentally stumbled over a shambling cat as Raimi had been casually exiting the teleporter.

“Shit!” Catching his equilibrium, he barely managed to avoid kicking the cat a second time. Raimi was never much of an animal person, but he wasn’t about to abuse one. I mean, he was a dick but not that kind of a

[sfx_weirdshit]

Oh great, just great. Here Jack was, actually minding his own business for once in his life when suddenly he gets punted across the damn street-- actually punted, as an adorable furry little crippled animal no less, which was infinitely more heartless and cruel than kicking a full grown man who also happened to be a colossal douchebag. Point it, a guy just kicked him for no goddamn reason.

Today fucking sucked.

Jack yowled pathetically, trying to get back up. With a bit of a struggle he did get back on his feet, wobbily, not that he was going anywhere. Now he had three shitty legs and a sore-as-fuck side, like hell he was going to be walking around. His ears went flat; fuck this, fuck his life, fuck this asshole who kicked him, etc.

...Wait. Asshole who kicked him?

Despite having just been kicked, Jack immediately perked up, staring up at the stranger with wide eyes. Holy shit a person. A person who could work the damn teleporters and save him from this humiliating shitfest

[fuckinghubble]

Talk about unexpected.

Not that Raimi knew a whole lot about cats, but... Well, if he was one, he sure as hell wouldn’t be wobbling in the direction of the asshole who just kicked him - not like that. At first he figured that the feline was just going to take a good swipe at him - vengeance for the little football shenanigans. But this cat was definitely not in the position of Attack Mode.

So what the fuck?

Raimi took a step back, and noticed that not only had he kicked a cat, but a gimp, too.

Guess who feels like an even bigger asshole now.

“Christ... Sorry about that.” Why was he bothering talking to a cat? Well, he’d already seen one feline fluent in the English language. For all Raimi knew, the station was crawling with them. Better to be sure than sorry. Besides, it wasn’t like it was the cat’s intent to get punted.

[sfx_weirdshit]

If Jack were actually a cat and not a human-turned-cat desperate to be normal again, he probably wouldn't be wobbling in the asshole's direction, yeah. This wasn't out of any sort of feline affection, this was pure survival. He needed this asshole to teleport him somewhere-- anywhere, it didn't even matter, he just needed his fucking body back.

Now the asshole was talking to him. As much as he wanted to just tell the kid exactly what he wanted, Jack wasn't one of those magic talking cats, and the closest he could come to "just throw me in the fucking teleporter you moron" was a a rather irritated "meow." It wasn't really that close a translation. But he was determined to get this point across somehow, so Jack kept hobbling forward.

He managed to make it all the way to the teleporter, butting his head into the entrance a few times before looking up at the stranger expectantly. Take me with you, stupid, I have no thumbs.

[fuckinghubble]

It was difficult, and damned nearly impossible, to tell whether or not if the cat was supposed to be a person or not. Despite the fact that it didn’t outright start cursing him out, something inside was telling Raimi that this was not your average stray. Not talking, but not normal.

How many normal things lived on a space station, anyway?

“You’re stuck like that, too?” He was no Cat Whisperer, but Raimi knew what being fed up looked like.

The cat had those vibes written all over its expression of pathetic desperation.

[sfx_weirdshit]

All he could offer in reply was another annoyed meow, and a nod. The nod was likely more useful. Yes, he could understand you, and yes, he was stuck in this fucking bullshit body. Throw him in the fucking teleporter already.

Jumping up to balance on his hind legs, Jack proceeded to attempt to scratch the shit out of the door now, because that's what cats usually do when they want in. Since he was lacking that crucial fourth leg it was kind of awkward and he ended up just smooshed against the teleporter, but it was good enough. He only looked a little retarded.

[fuckinghubble]

With all that had gone on the past week, Raimi did not find it at all inconceivable to think that this was anything but a cat. For as fucked up as things had become since he got here - since before he had got here - getting used to equally fucked up things seemed only natural.

Also, real cats don’t normally make the effort to nod when they want something.

If he was the type to, Raimi almost could’ve laughed at the sad sight of a three-legged creature attempting to paw at the teleporter door. Since the teleporters had recently been fixed, he knew that once the cat made it past those doors, it would be back to whatever it used to be before.

“You sure you don’t want to be an adorable fuzzball for the rest of your nine lives?” Raimi joked, knowing full well that the cat wasn’t even capable of humoring him in return. With that, he opened the teleporter door. “Well, if you insist.”

Getting in with three kitty legs might be a bit of a challenge, though.

Please, cat. Don’t make Raimi have to pick you up.