UNECNRYPTED TEXT and a fuckton of ENCRYPTED AUDIO

[whatvr_it_takes]

Unencrypted -- Anonymous Text
Just out of a general curiosity, what sort of military or special operations training is represented here? What did you fight/how did you fight it? Were you successful? What skills have you found beneficial here? Has anything you learned been detrimental?

Comments

text.

[ironhowdoesit]

I moonlight as a superhero. I pretty much kick ass.

No idea about whats here but I've probably handled worse.

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[whatvr_it_takes]

Do you 'kick ass' in any particular fashion or just in general? [Not really impressed yet ... ]

Such as ... ?

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[ironhowdoesit]

across all subjects and disciplines? close quarters combat, anti-tank... AA against anything smaller than a b2 spirit.

terrorists, angry corporate rivals, russians.

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[whatvr_it_takes]

[Okay, she has to admit, that's impressive. But she's not going to let him know that.] Doesn't sound much like a superman if you can't take out anything bigger then a palsy fighter jet.

Sounds like a variable conglomeration of foes there.

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[ironhowdoesit]

the government slapped me on the wrist and grounded me last time I accidentally took down a fighter jet. haven't gotten the chance to try anything bigger.

you should see the rest of my resume.

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[whatvr_it_takes]

Poor baby. Who knows, maybe you'll get your chance here.

Why don't you send it over and I'll give it due consideration?

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[ironhowdoesit]

I moped for a day, then I realized how great I was and stopped feeling sad and felt awesome again.

want the whole thing or just the superhero part?

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[whatvr_it_takes]

Well, wouldn't want you not feeling awesome, would we?

All of it. Also, please include a paragraph about why you're so willing to send a stranger your personal information like this.

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[ironhowdoesit]

[ PRETEND HE INCLUDES HIS RESUME AS AN ATTACHMENT. It's rather impressive, with 2 masters degrees from MIT. There's a bunch of random achievements, with the only entry under Job History being STARK INDUSTRIES, CEO 199x-2010. Under misc, he'll list 'I am Iron Man', a medal for bravery, and a few awards for industrial design ]

mostly because I'm a narcissist and get off on praise.

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[whatvr_it_takes]

[OH GOODNESS she has to chuckle at it a bit, and then switches to audio for her reply.]

Well, at least you're honest about it, Mr. Stark.

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[ironhowdoesit]

[ THAT VOICE IS FAMILIAR, and it makes him chuckle. ]

Someone's gotta be honest in Washington, and it's definitely not those bureaucratic asswipes.

So, was this all a sneaky attempt to see if I was lying about the superhero thing?

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[whatvr_it_takes]

You guessed it. I'm only talking to these other schmucks because I was hoping you'd fall for the bait. [So so amused.]

Superheroes don't exist where I come from, so you'll excuse my skepticism. I admit I'm not entirely sold on the idea, but, well ... there are talking ponies here, so anything is possible.

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[ironhowdoesit]

What can I say? I'm pretty much irresistible.

[ oooh that ego ]

I'm as normal of a superhero as they come; you'll have to find America's Favourite Eaglescout if you're looking for someone with actual super powers. Well, as normal as a genius, playboy billionaire philanthropist can get.

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[whatvr_it_takes]

[He's like York on Ego Steroids.]

So what Cracker Jack box did you get your superhero license from, anyway?

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[ironhowdoesit]

I figure I earned it after I basically privatized world peace.

...But I could make one if you really think I need one.

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[whatvr_it_takes]

And how did you manage that? [And better yet, think you could do it on a galactic scale? What about interspecies?]

All that would show me was your computer graphics and printer skills. You really want to impress me you'll have to be a little more creative. [Is she issuing a challenge? Why yes. Yes she is.]