011. Switch Test [VIDEO; OPEN]
Greetings, Sacrosanct!
[There is no where am I, there is no how long was I gone, there isn't even a twitch. Check out those impossibly square shoulders! That long, smooth stride! The everpresent smug grin! It's as though nothing ever happened. As far as he's concerned, nothing did.
Never let them see you sweat.]
Well, either my wearable is out of synch--and even in quantum storage, that shouldn't be possible--or we have a whole bunch of brand-new guests.
This place being what it is and wow, look at that time-signature! I'm sure the welcome wagon's already steamrolled right on through.
But, y'know. If you're feeling lost, if you have burning questions, if you're between a rock and a hard place and you don't know where to turn?
...Yeah. I'm not your guy.
Tell you what I will do! I can personally offer each one of you an entirely complimentary skills evaluation. Give you some idea of the learning curve ahead of you. Maybe point out some details you hadn't considered, before.
Two reasons: one, it can be a lot, arriving here. There's so much to take in, to adapt to. I know how hard it is; I do. Better than--well, almost better than anybody.
Two: I'm real big on success. Some even might say I'm driven--they wouldn't be wrong. And I've got...well, that's part of the interview process.
...No, no, don't worry; participation is strictly voluntary. [A little grin, a little grimace. Best ever private joke. Too bad it isn't funny.]
Anyway, here, tell us about yourself.
That's a good start. Ping me for the rest of it.
Request: status of Tagetes patula--commonly, French marigolds--at given location. [Ping! Someone's worried about the state of his front lawn. Yes, enough to bother the station head and her lovely assistant. This is clearly urgent and serious business.]
Are you functional? [The sheer volume of messages scrolling by, all under 100 seconds, all displaying timestamps within minutes of each other, are not like the new you. Just be okay, okay? Please, please be safe...Oh. Oh, no. Conjecture:]
Who derezzed?
...Urgent: request location and status.
...I was gonna call you, I swear.
Hope everything's alright, babe. It's not like I was expecting to drop off the face of the [Grid]--station. Ping me when you get this, huh?
Okay, first of all? I didn't do it! Second, the love of your life is glitching out. I'm serious. There's a stack of I don't even know what all over my wearable.
If you don't know where he is, find him.
[ooc: My last final of the year is tomorrow afternoon; replies may be slow until then. My bod--- inbox is ready.]
[There is no where am I, there is no how long was I gone, there isn't even a twitch. Check out those impossibly square shoulders! That long, smooth stride! The everpresent smug grin! It's as though nothing ever happened. As far as he's concerned, nothing did.
Never let them see you sweat.]
Well, either my wearable is out of synch--and even in quantum storage, that shouldn't be possible--or we have a whole bunch of brand-new guests.
This place being what it is and wow, look at that time-signature! I'm sure the welcome wagon's already steamrolled right on through.
But, y'know. If you're feeling lost, if you have burning questions, if you're between a rock and a hard place and you don't know where to turn?
...Yeah. I'm not your guy.
Tell you what I will do! I can personally offer each one of you an entirely complimentary skills evaluation. Give you some idea of the learning curve ahead of you. Maybe point out some details you hadn't considered, before.
Two reasons: one, it can be a lot, arriving here. There's so much to take in, to adapt to. I know how hard it is; I do. Better than--well, almost better than anybody.
Two: I'm real big on success. Some even might say I'm driven--they wouldn't be wrong. And I've got...well, that's part of the interview process.
...No, no, don't worry; participation is strictly voluntary. [A little grin, a little grimace. Best ever private joke. Too bad it isn't funny.]
Anyway, here, tell us about yourself.
That's a good start. Ping me for the rest of it.
Request: status of Tagetes patula--commonly, French marigolds--at given location. [Ping! Someone's worried about the state of his front lawn. Yes, enough to bother the station head and her lovely assistant. This is clearly urgent and serious business.]
Are you functional? [The sheer volume of messages scrolling by, all under 100 seconds, all displaying timestamps within minutes of each other, are not like the new you. Just be okay, okay? Please, please be safe...Oh. Oh, no. Conjecture:]
Who derezzed?
...Urgent: request location and status.
...I was gonna call you, I swear.
Hope everything's alright, babe. It's not like I was expecting to drop off the face of the [Grid]--station. Ping me when you get this, huh?
Okay, first of all? I didn't do it! Second, the love of your life is glitching out. I'm serious. There's a stack of I don't even know what all over my wearable.
If you don't know where he is, find him.
[ooc: My last final of the year is tomorrow afternoon; replies may be slow until then. My bod--- inbox is ready.]