TENTH LOG → VIDEO

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So, like... [ feed opens with Iowa looking quite thoughtful. maybe even a little bit worried. ] Has anyone seen Grif's sister? Her name's Kai. She and I had like, a date, and now I can't seem to find her! And Grif's pretty worried, too... I hate it when he's worried! [ SOMEONE CURE HIS HUSBANDO'S CONDITION Iowa can't handle this on his own!! ]So,

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[lockbreak]

[ he's quiet for a moment, chewing on his lip as he mulls over how to go about this. ]

Oh, you... actually replied. Uh. [ this is awkward. ]

...Listen. I was thinking and uh. I wanted to apologize. To you. First of all. [ well, that was a lot harder to get out, considering he still feels as though he did nothing wrong. ] But I also wanted to clear some things up, if you ... uh. [ fidget. ] ...wanted to listen.

VIDEO | 100% encrypted

[lockbreak]

[ normally, he would have laughed or come back with a quip of his own, but it's just not in him today. it's clear that he's still nervous and perhaps a little twitchy. ]

Okay, well uh. To be honest, there's ... a reason I flew off the handle at you about the Alpha. [ yes, he actually said the alpha, rather than church. ] I just... kinda found it insulting that you'd think I'd hurt him. The whole reason I was in Blood Gulch was to protect him. [ he pauses, thinking of how to word the rest of this... ]

--But, that being said, I guess I can understand why you got so upset. I'm sorry I did that behind your back. I just. It helped. And I didn't force him into it. I just asked and he said yes. That's all there was to it.

[ he sighs, rubs his face. ] So, yeah. I needed to tell you all of that. It's been really hard on me to... to deal with this... condition.

saaaame... only video etc...

[lockbreak]

[ iowa had been fidgeting in the silence, twisting his hair around and around his fingers while he waited for wash to process everything he had said. it was up in the air if he'd take him seriously or just blow him off, and that much was enough to make iowa even more nervous.

the reply that follows, finally, is not anticipated. iowa's expression levels out after the initial surprise, and he sucks in a breath. ]

I... I don't know. I really don't know if it's my place to uh. Say anything. Or something. [ so awkward... ] I... just. Uh. My head's a mess right now.

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[ iowa grimaces. It's hard to describe how he feels when his brain is all over the place. ]

Do I... get what? [ it had been hard to keep up appearances but with wash, iowa feels more comfortable in being truthful. Ironically enough. ] Do I get why you freaked out? Cos yeah, I can understand that...

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[ look at that face. how can anyone stay mad at that face? it's the face of guilt and sadness. or something. ]

Oh. Y-yeah, I do. I just. I don't.

[ he chews at his lip. ] It helped for a while but... Fuck. I should just give up. I should have listened to you. [ time to set his head down and sigh deeply. NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO GET EMOTIONAL but o wellz. ]

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I know. [ he affirms, nodding a little from his spot. his voice is quiet and muted; the guilt is definitely there. the only problem is actually acknowledging it. he had said it before, but this was more all-encompassing for iowa. so it needed to be said again. ]

I'm sorry, Wash.

[lockbreak]

So... [ um. all this emotional stuff is hard to keep up, even for him. ] How have you been? Is everything all right? [ even if he's pretty sure wash wouldn't tell him if something was wrong... ]