No, this isn't private. Red is a dinosaur.

[screeee]

York! Have found good female partner for you. Strong, smart. Has guns. Will make very good human-chicks. Should start courting right away. Name is Shepard.

Comments

[savor_last_shot]

I... don't think Commander Shepard would be interested.

[Because Garrus doesn't like to transmit his relationship details all over the extranet.]

[screeee]

[Cocks head.] Do not see why not. York is best human male here. Will make best mate.

[savor_last_shot]

[He rankles a bit at that. He's totally a better mate.]

I doubt it.

[screeee]

[Bristles. Her human is the best human okay.] Best genetics make for best mates. Is strongest here.

[savor_last_shot]

[Nuh uh. Shepard is totally the best human ever.]

There's more to relationships than genetics.

[screeee]

[Laughs in his face.] Must have bad genetics.

[savor_last_shot]

I don't care about genes.

[screeee]

[Stares like he's grown a second head.]

[savor_last_shot]

[Stares back. Staring contest go.]

[screeee]

Will have weak chicks.

Audio, filtered.

[cmdr_renegade]

[Somehow, she's managed to stop laughing long enough to work the damn omnitool and send a filtered message.]

She's a little addled. Shellshock maybe.

[She still sounds wholeheartedly amused by this entire thing.]

But, fucking hell, this is just priceless. Right? Right?

[A snicker.]

So are you going to bring me a dead turtle?

Audio, filtered.

[savor_last_shot]

[Siiiigh.]

...what about all the dead krogan I bring you?

Audio, filtered.

[cmdr_renegade]

[Snickerlol.]

Those are...[A pause.] Very nice, but a pain in the ass to store.

But, I suppose killing a Krogan is close enough to killing a turtle. [Restrained 'ffff' of understatement.]

Audio, filtered.

[savor_last_shot]

I'm not sure what a "turtle" is, actually. Some sort of predator back on earth?

[Because he'll totally kill one if you want, Shepard.

Well, he'll really kill just about anything on her say so.]

Audio, filtered.

[cmdr_renegade]

[Aw damn. DO. NOT. LAUGH.]

Something like that.

[She can't stifle the snicker at the idea of Garrus, sniper rifle at the go, on turtle safari.]

They're much harder to find than Krogan.

[Except she's pretty sure Chambers has one in a terrarium somewhere in the crew quarters.]

Audio, filtered.

[savor_last_shot]

[Poor Garrus. No idea he's being mocked.]

If we ever get the time, maybe we should book one of those hunting trips. You know, relax by blowing away helpless animals with the latest and greatest in weapons technology.