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[suckitimashark]

You have got to be kidding me. All these new folks showin' up and they all know Shepard. [Okay, maybe not all of them but it won't stop him from being butthurt.] Shepard- you gotta let me rub your head for good luck or something.

Where the fuck is my crew?

Comments

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[traceurmonitor]

We do not all know Shepard.
[Your logical fallacy, let me show you it.]

You would wish the current circumstances on your companions. Why?

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[suckitimashark]

Yeah, yeah, asshole. Well she's got her crew, her acquaintances, her extended family, and her crew and acquaintances' extended families dropping out of the sky and I get absolutely jack.

Because I'm bored out of my noggin and I need something to fuck.

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[traceurmonitor]

And you are displeased with her for a situation none of us can control?

[Also one of these words is not in his vocabulary. Actually, several.]

Define: 'jack', 'noggin', 'fuck'.

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[suckitimashark]

I aint displeased with her. [Because... one does not get displeased with Shepard. At least not openly.] I'm displeased with the situation and I'm hoping that rubbing her head will increase the chances of me getting some of my crew.

[He squints at the text for a moment.] Jack means nothing, noggin means head, fuck means to stick it in over and over until you're satisfied. Where the hell are you from?

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[traceurmonitor]

Method seems based entirely on luck, but I understand. I hope a break falls your way.

[... Well he still doesn't get the third one (I am a computer program and what is this), but he's just going to leave it since there is a direct question.] I am from the Grid.

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[suckitimashark]

Not the superstitious type, I take it.

[He cocks an eyebrow.] Not surprised I haven't heard of it. Are you some kind of robot? I really don't feel like dealing with more robots today. [Grump grump.]

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[traceurmonitor]

I believe more in skill than luck.

I am a security program. 'Robot' is the incorrect term for those like me. [Why does everyone think he's a robot :(]

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[suckitimashark]

Believe me kid, you need both.

You're a program. Which means you're a robot. Lemme see what you look like.

Text > Video

[traceurmonitor]

I never suggested I did not. I simply believe in one more than the other. [He knows he's had astounding luck, but it's fickle. Better to trust your disc.]

[There's a long pause, but he finally flicks on the video. Enjoy the literal light piping on his armor, Virgil.]

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[suckitimashark]

[Virgil's breath actually hitches for a second. His closest friend just happened to wear a similar helmet ninety percent of the time. He covers his surprise with a frown, though.] You look like a robot to me, kid.

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[traceurmonitor]

[Anon still notices all of this, not commenting. He just tips his head to the side like a confused dog, white lighting on his armor flickering slightly. Even with the video, though, he still only responds in type.]

Clarify: your definition of 'robot'.

Also. My name is Anon. Not 'kid'.

[Only Flynn (and certain others he knows) can get away with calling him 'kid'.]

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[suckitimashark]

[Virgil stares at the camera with the strangest expression on his face. Hopeful and angry rolled into one. On top of wearing a helmet 24/7, his friend just happened to be mute and only communicated via text. ASSHOLE BETTER NOT BE PLAYING TRICKS HNNNN]

Take that helmet off.

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[traceurmonitor]

[He's not mute, he just hates talking. Hates it so, so much.

...And there is a long pause. Bitch you did not just say what he thinks you said.]

Negative.

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[suckitimashark]

[Virgil stares. And squints. And stares some more. FUUUU]

If you're really Archer, I'm going to string your skinny ass up with your own entrails. Keep that in mind.

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[traceurmonitor]

[Even Flynn would probably have to do some hard-core coaxing to get that helmet off of him, and there's no one Anon respects more.]

I know of no "Archer".
Clarify: 'entrails'.

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[suckitimashark]

[Squint squint glare scowl. Virgil is fairly certain that Archer wouldn't go this far with a prank, but it was hard to tell with him.]

Entrails. Internal organs. Guts. Gooey people bits.