(no subject)
i haven't studied, haven't even read the material. test tomorrow and i'm so far behind. ever since the 'trip' i have had absolutely no motivation. i want to talk about it so much and yet i don't know how or where or when. sometimes i feel like i have no idea how to truly communicate. communication major...great.. what a novel idea. and it's those sometimes when i feel even closer to music.... i think. aaaaaaaaaaaaanyways
AF called last night. thinking about me. funny how we always think about people once they're not around to think about anymore. i played it pretty smooth..i think. non-chalant...indifferent....the usual unfortunate bitch mode wall i put up. not that he doesn't deserve it. i don't really care about him or any of that anymore, and yet i do simply for the mere "what ifs" of it....no matter who or what, the what ifs take a while to accept.
"i turned around three times and wound up at your door. you said that you know all that you did not know before. but i offer no sympathy for that. i hear that it was you who died alone. and i offer no sympathy for that. better off i sparkle on my own. and someday, love will find me in the rough. someday, love will finally be enough"
AF called last night. thinking about me. funny how we always think about people once they're not around to think about anymore. i played it pretty smooth..i think. non-chalant...indifferent....the usual unfortunate bitch mode wall i put up. not that he doesn't deserve it. i don't really care about him or any of that anymore, and yet i do simply for the mere "what ifs" of it....no matter who or what, the what ifs take a while to accept.
"i turned around three times and wound up at your door. you said that you know all that you did not know before. but i offer no sympathy for that. i hear that it was you who died alone. and i offer no sympathy for that. better off i sparkle on my own. and someday, love will find me in the rough. someday, love will finally be enough"