alone with my thoughts
Still sick. It's been off and on for a month, which is ridiculous. Been more sick this semester than in a long time. Not quite sure what's going on with my immune system. Maybe it's punishing me for not buying food properly and smoking/drinking too much.
Got a weave and a gown for the gala this Wednesday. Can't wait to go. Just hope I'm not sick then. Have to be better for Tahoe this weekend.
It's good to be home with the fam, but sometimes I realize how used I'd gotten to being on my own. Even though it was lonely and hard to be out there sometimes, I am already starting to feel smothered here. But we always want what we can't have, don't we? If I were living alone, even without a roommate, I'd probably still be over here all the time.
The schedule of a college student has given me this false sense of instability and insecurity. Had a conversation with someone a while back about that. It's like, every four months you have to change your daily routine, and you're always changing your habitat, moving, trying to make ends meet cuz you can't hold down a steady job, etc. What's it going to be like in four months when all that is over? Will I feel antsy because things will settle into a longer routine? Somehow, I'm not so sure of that.
Had to skip rehearsal tonight to try and rest my voice, but I still went there to pick up some lyric sheets and a disc. The guys were really nice to me. They always are. Sometimes I trip out for being the only girl and being the youngest, but not so much. One guy in the band was travelling abroad for most of the time that I got to know everyone before, and now that he's back, I'm not really sure how to approach him. I sense that he feels the same about me. Won't take it too seriously just yet, though.
I hate that feeling of limbo.
Got a weave and a gown for the gala this Wednesday. Can't wait to go. Just hope I'm not sick then. Have to be better for Tahoe this weekend.
It's good to be home with the fam, but sometimes I realize how used I'd gotten to being on my own. Even though it was lonely and hard to be out there sometimes, I am already starting to feel smothered here. But we always want what we can't have, don't we? If I were living alone, even without a roommate, I'd probably still be over here all the time.
The schedule of a college student has given me this false sense of instability and insecurity. Had a conversation with someone a while back about that. It's like, every four months you have to change your daily routine, and you're always changing your habitat, moving, trying to make ends meet cuz you can't hold down a steady job, etc. What's it going to be like in four months when all that is over? Will I feel antsy because things will settle into a longer routine? Somehow, I'm not so sure of that.
Had to skip rehearsal tonight to try and rest my voice, but I still went there to pick up some lyric sheets and a disc. The guys were really nice to me. They always are. Sometimes I trip out for being the only girl and being the youngest, but not so much. One guy in the band was travelling abroad for most of the time that I got to know everyone before, and now that he's back, I'm not really sure how to approach him. I sense that he feels the same about me. Won't take it too seriously just yet, though.
I hate that feeling of limbo.