Sing by this light; My light.
The worst part of not having my laptop repaired yet - I'm missing half of my amazing music collection.
I've neglected updating this journal for quite some time. I've had other things to do. Things. Some of them were good.
I'm having those nostalgic feelings.
I took a drive down to my old neighborhood last weekend. It looked exactly the same. With the dead trees. And the barely-hanging-on-to-life trees.
I saw my old apartment. Someone else lives in it now. But I don't like thinking about that.
I have been thinking about the past though. A few weeks ago, that lovely (and by lovely, I mean fucking horrible)invention, Facebook, reminded me of a relationship of the winter. And an uncomfortable feeling of attempts at friendliness and obvious complication.
That same uncomfortable feeling carried on into a flesh encounter. My boyfriend was there.
The only discomfort was that of my ex.
Sometimes I wonder if I ever really did love him. Silly fucking 15 year olds.
I'm hoping this winter isn't filled with heartache. I haven't had a good winter since..you know.
I believe things are well.
If only we didn't always fight.
Two tempers. Two guarded hearts.
We can make this work, right?
He says he's going to marry me one day.
I don't know if I believe him.
But we'll see, right? .... .. . ... . . .Right?
As for everything else. Well. I'm ready to get out of this fucking town.
Too many liars. Too many people who don't even know who they are.
They're your friend one minute, and the next they bad mouth you when the audience suits them.
And they have nerve to speak of "immature middle school bullshit". But let them do as they please.
I'd like to find some real friends.
More than just the select few that I do have.
I'd like to find some real people.
I miss my best friend. I told her to move up here for college. I need her.
I need sleep. And healing.
I need someone to rub my back.
Goodnight.
I did love him.