Opera Nuova: Being in the present
So, this year at Nuova, Kim decided that we needed to start off every day with a little bit of "Mindful Inspiration", which means, Kim tries to indoctrinate us with all the new agey things she's ever learned from conferences for the new age minded. She apparently is really big into this thing called "The Wizard". It sounds pretty far fetched, but like all things Nuova, I approach it with an open, yet highly discerning mind. I mean, hello, I did chakra releases, didn't I?
But Kim promised it wouldn't mess with anybody's theology, and I do find her stuff interesting.
Today she really just talked about being in the present. Of course, the Wizard program has these silly terms for this crap, about what the person who lives in the past is called, and the person who lives worrying about the future, and how the Wizard is calm and centred, even in the eye of the storm, blah blah blah. But I actually found the "be present in the now" stuff to be very timely. All day, in classes, I would find my mind wandering to something that the session at hand had sparked a memory of, or who even knows what? And then I'd realize I just missed a couple seconds or minutes of what was actually happening in the moment. And considering I paid a large sum of money to be here? I'd really better be here!!
This year really is hugely different. It's been a struggle here and there to stop comparing everything to last year, or trying to re-create last year. But already I've been letting that go. And already, I've made more friends, been more open and vulnerable, learned more things... when I think back to the start of last year, I was really freaked out, by all the singers, by all the "new", by all the things I was learning, that I was really tightly wound up and closed off. It wasn't until an Alexander Technique class where I ended up crying that I finally released a lot of that, and started being open and enjoying this place. But already, I feel like I'm there.
We had a sing through of Suor today in the hall, and it felt glorious to sing in that space. Already, I was getting stopped less and less to fix things, and I got some good compliments. So I'm in a positive frame of mind about singing. I walked to Safeway with my double, and we talked the whole way, so already she's not competition, but a friend. And she gave me some good advice/suggestions for what to do with my life in the next years (Opera Diploma at U of T anyone? how about Lyric Opera Studio of Weimar, Germany?) So I had some good conversations, and got rid of a potential enemy, by befriending her. Not that it was hard, she's so super-nice. And yeah, just... good things. I know from last year that Nuova is just one big roller coaster, of emotions, but also of technical ability, of tiredness and awareness, of things changing for good and for bad... but I just hope I can look back and capture this moment of happiness, and feeling goodness....
Also new this year is this singer who became a "life coach", which is a nerdy term, but she's been incredibly helpful as well. She's been encouraging us to set goals, to dream as big as we want to, to learn to discern the voices in our heads, and whether or not they're "our" voices, or someone else's voice, etc etc. Anyways, she's just been so great. We were talking afterwards with her about why we loved her session, and it's because in the world of music, encounters with other singers always carries an element of competition, and so you can never be vulnerable, and discuss your fears and hopes and plans and dreams with absolutely candacy. You always need to keep a bit of a protective front up, for protection. But here, everyone's super supportive, even more than last year, I think. And even more, we've all been assigned our roles already, our songs, our music. There's nothing more you can achieve for yourself by beating out someone else, so we can all be friends and support each other. It's fab. And we said this to the life coach, and this one girl actually started crying, it resonated so much with her... This place is crazy, no joke.
Okay, bed now.
But Kim promised it wouldn't mess with anybody's theology, and I do find her stuff interesting.
Today she really just talked about being in the present. Of course, the Wizard program has these silly terms for this crap, about what the person who lives in the past is called, and the person who lives worrying about the future, and how the Wizard is calm and centred, even in the eye of the storm, blah blah blah. But I actually found the "be present in the now" stuff to be very timely. All day, in classes, I would find my mind wandering to something that the session at hand had sparked a memory of, or who even knows what? And then I'd realize I just missed a couple seconds or minutes of what was actually happening in the moment. And considering I paid a large sum of money to be here? I'd really better be here!!
This year really is hugely different. It's been a struggle here and there to stop comparing everything to last year, or trying to re-create last year. But already I've been letting that go. And already, I've made more friends, been more open and vulnerable, learned more things... when I think back to the start of last year, I was really freaked out, by all the singers, by all the "new", by all the things I was learning, that I was really tightly wound up and closed off. It wasn't until an Alexander Technique class where I ended up crying that I finally released a lot of that, and started being open and enjoying this place. But already, I feel like I'm there.
We had a sing through of Suor today in the hall, and it felt glorious to sing in that space. Already, I was getting stopped less and less to fix things, and I got some good compliments. So I'm in a positive frame of mind about singing. I walked to Safeway with my double, and we talked the whole way, so already she's not competition, but a friend. And she gave me some good advice/suggestions for what to do with my life in the next years (Opera Diploma at U of T anyone? how about Lyric Opera Studio of Weimar, Germany?) So I had some good conversations, and got rid of a potential enemy, by befriending her. Not that it was hard, she's so super-nice. And yeah, just... good things. I know from last year that Nuova is just one big roller coaster, of emotions, but also of technical ability, of tiredness and awareness, of things changing for good and for bad... but I just hope I can look back and capture this moment of happiness, and feeling goodness....
Also new this year is this singer who became a "life coach", which is a nerdy term, but she's been incredibly helpful as well. She's been encouraging us to set goals, to dream as big as we want to, to learn to discern the voices in our heads, and whether or not they're "our" voices, or someone else's voice, etc etc. Anyways, she's just been so great. We were talking afterwards with her about why we loved her session, and it's because in the world of music, encounters with other singers always carries an element of competition, and so you can never be vulnerable, and discuss your fears and hopes and plans and dreams with absolutely candacy. You always need to keep a bit of a protective front up, for protection. But here, everyone's super supportive, even more than last year, I think. And even more, we've all been assigned our roles already, our songs, our music. There's nothing more you can achieve for yourself by beating out someone else, so we can all be friends and support each other. It's fab. And we said this to the life coach, and this one girl actually started crying, it resonated so much with her... This place is crazy, no joke.
Okay, bed now.