The Monster Within
Title: The Monster Within
Pairing/Main Character: Junhyung, JunSeung
Genre: Horror
Rating: R
Word count: 6,388
Summary: Junhyung knew that something wasn't right, he knew that something was wrong...wrong with him. He could feel it getting worse as the hours and days ticked by, as the nightmares became more realistic, more horrifying. The feelings inside of him were growing stronger with each look and touch he witnessed. They were betraying him, all of them, as they tried to take away what was his. He belonged to Junhyung, no one else, and the monster inside of him knew what needed to be done and Junhyung knew, deep down, that soon he would let the monster take complete control.
A/N: This was the hardest story I have ever written...but it was definitley worth all of the time, sweat, and tears.
”Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest
for it is love and hate at the same time.”
Arab Proverb
Jiyong put a hand over the knife wound on his arm, warm, thick blood seeping through his fingers. He stumbled backwards, letting his legs give way as he felt his calves hit the bathtub. He let out a sob, blood and saliva flowing from his mouth and down his chin, landing in droplets on the tiled floor. There were footsteps in the hallway before the door to the bathroom was kicked open.
Jiyong flinched, his eyes widening in horror as his attacker entered the bathroom, their black boots coming to a stop in front of the droplets of blood. His attacker used his thumb to wipe blood from his own mouth, his lips forming into a smirk.
Jiyong let out another sob as his eyes landed on the bloodied knife in his attacker’s hand. He lowered his head.
“Why?”
His head was yanked back, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“You know why.”
Jiyong tried to shake his head. “No I don’t.”
His hair was yanked harder as the knife slashed across his cheek. Jiyong screamed in pain, blood flowing quickly down his cheek and neck.
“I warned you! I warned you to stay away!” His attacker lowered his head, locking eyes with Jiyong. “But you didn’t listen. And now you’ll pay.”
Jiyong let out a loud sob. “I promise I’ll stay away!”
“It’s too late for that now.” His attacker pulled away, his hand moving to Jiyong’s forehead.
“Please don’t.”
His attacker shook his head. “You’ll never stay away and that’s why you have to die.”
Jiyong’s eyes held a look of pain, sadness, and betrayal.
“Don’t look at me like that G. You’re the one who betrayed me. You tried to take what was mine.”
His attacker covered Jiyong’s eyes. “Nobody can have Him. He’s mine.”
Jiyong let out a strangled sob just before the knife slashed across his throat, blood spattering on the walls and his attackers clothes. His dead body fell to the ground, blood flowing from his throat and pooling around his head.
His murderer left, not once looking at the dead body behind him.
~*~*~
Junhyung woke with a start, his eyes wide and his breathing heavy. He was soaked with sweat, his sheets in a tangled mess around his legs. He blinked several times while trying to get his breathing under control. It was just a nightmare Jun, nothing to be worried about.
“Are you okay?”
Junhyung turned on his side to look at a sleepy, yet concerned Hyunseung.
“I had a nightmare.”
Hyunseung placed a hand on Junhyung’s cheek, his thumb moving back and forth. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
Junhyung shook his head. “Not really.” He placed a kiss on Hyunseung’s hand. “I’m going to go shower, go back to sleep.”
Hyunseung smiled, his eyes already closed. Junhyung got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror before immediately closing his eyes, trying to fight off the images of his dream. It had seemed so real that Junhyung was sure that he had heard the screams and felt the blood.
He looked in the mirror again, running his fingers over his lips. No cuts, no bruising. He shook his head. Of course there weren’t any, it had just been a dream. He sighed as he got into the shower, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him to pay closer attention to the dream.
~*~*~
“Yah!” Hyunseung laughed as he swatted at Yoseob’s hands. “Do you want to die?” He laughed again as the younger male lunged at him, sending them both to the ground, and began tickling him. “Yang Yoseob!” He laughed as he tried to fight the younger off, the two of them rolling around on the floor of the dance studio.
Kikwang laughed and sprawled himself on top of the other two; tickling whomever he could get his hands on. Their laughter echoed throughout the studio and soon screams and yelps were heard as Dongwoon joined in.
Junhyung sat against one of the rows of mirrors, a small smile on his face as he watched the four in front of him. He was trying to fight off a headache and his whole body was tired and achy. He hadn’t slept much in the past couple of days, not since the night he’d had that dream. Ever since then, every time he’d close his eyes, he would see a bloodied and desperate Jiyong, a helpless and sad Jiyong, and a dead Jiyong. So Junhyung had opted not to close his eyes and forgo sleep, as long as it meant that he didn’t have to see those images. It was beginning to take its toll on his body.
Junhyung refocused his eyes as a scream came from the four in front of him.
“Lee Kikwang! I cannot believe that you just bit me!” Hyunseung laughed as he wiped Kikwang’s saliva off of his hand onto Dongwoon’s cheek.
“Ew Hyung, that’s gross!” Dongwoon rubbed at his cheek.
Kikwang grinned. “You taste good Seungie.”
Hyunseung looked bewildered. “I’m all sweaty!” He yelped as a pair of lips planted themselves on his neck.
Yoseob gave an innocent look. “Your sweat tastes good though.”
“And people call me weird!” Hyunseung laughed again as Kikwang and Yoseob tried to ‘taste’ him. He turned his head to the side and locked eyes with Junhyung. He smiled and winked at the rapper before giving another yelp as another pair of lips landed on his neck.
Junhyung clenched his jaw, his neck straining slightly as he tried to block off the headache and the voice disguised within it.
They shouldn’t be touching him like that
Junhyung closed his eyes. He didn’t care; they always touch him like that.
But he’s yours to touch, not theirs
He squeezed his eyes shut tighter. Shut up. His head was pounding.
Those should be your lips and your hands, not theirs
Junhyung pressed his palms to his eyes. Shut up. Shut up.
His eyes should only glow like that for you, not them
“Shut up!” Junhyung’s eyes snapped open as everyone in the studio went quiet. He locked eyes with Hyunseung’s glowing ones, let out a frustrated yell, and stormed out of the studio.
He leaned against the wall in the hallway and closed his eyes. He was getting sick of this. The voice had been making itself known since the dream, taunting and teasing Junhyung with thoughts that he did his best to ignore. It was as if the voice was planting itself in Junhyung’s brain, making sure he relived every taunt and saw things that just weren’t happening. It was starting to takes its toll and weigh him down. And the worst part was that Junhyung was finding it harder and harder to ignore that voice and to not see what it wanted him to see.
Just then, as if the voice knew his every thought, the image of Yoseob’s lips on Hyunseung’s neck played in front of his eyes, followed by Kikwang doing the same thing. The images replayed themselves over and over.
“Stop.” Junhyung hit his head against the wall. “Stop!”
“Jun?”
The images disappeared as Junhyung opened his eyes, his being met with dark worried ones.
Hyunseung placed a hand on Junhyung’s cheek, wiping away a single tear. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” His voice was raspy.
“Are you sure?” Hyunseung stepped closer, placing his other hand on Junhyung’s other cheek. “I’m worried about you.”
Junhyung pulled Hyunseung into a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m just really tired.”
Hyunseung rested his head on Junhyung’s shoulder, his arms wrapping around the younger’s waist. “That’s because you haven’t slept in 2 days.”
“How did you know?” He squeezed Hyunseung’s waist. “You’ve been sound asleep the past 2 nights.”
Hyunseung let out a small laugh, his breath tickling Junhyung’s neck. “Because when you sleep I usually wake up in your arms.” He nuzzled the base of Junhyung’s neck. “I’ve woken up alone the past 2 days, which means you haven’t been sleeping.”
Junhyung kissed Hyunseung’s temple. “I’m sorry. My mind has been preoccupied.” He pulled away so the two of them could look at each other, his hands cupping Hyunseung’s cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry.” Hyunseung smiled as he put his hands over Junhyung’s. “And don’t worry, I’ll make sure you sleep tonight.”
Junhyung kissed Hyunseung, slow and meaningful. He smiled as they pulled apart. “I love you.”
Hyunseung grinned. “I know.”
~*~*~
Soomi turned her back to run, screaming as the blade slashed across her upper arm, her own blood spattering across her face. She ran towards the kitchen, only to slip on the blood that was pooling on the floor. She scrambled to get up, her legs and hands now covered in Chanmi’s blood.
Just as Soomi got up, a hand grabbed her hair and pushed her back to the ground. She let out a scream as she landed face first in Chanmi’s blood. She tried to stand up, but was kicked in the stomach and flipped over onto her back.
“Help!” She screamed and tried, once again, to get up.
Her attacker didn’t let her get far though as he bent down, wrapped his hands around her neck, and forced her onto her feet.
“No one is going to help you, you stupid bitch.”
Soomi reached her hand out and dug her nails into her attacker’s forehead and dragged them down, skin building up beneath her fingernails. Her attacker yelled and flung her to the side.
“You bitch!”
Soomi made it a few steps into the kitchen before she was kicked in the back. She flew forward, her head slamming into the kitchen counter, a gash appearing instantly across her eye. She screamed as she placed a hand over the gash, warm thick blood oozing through her fingers.
“You fucking bitch.” Her attacker grabbed her by the back of the head and forced her to look at him.
Soomi began to sob hysterically. “Why? I thought we were friends!”
Her attacker sneered. “Why would I be friends with a slut?” He yanked on her hair harder. “Because that’s what you are. A filthy fucking slut who thought she could take what’s mine.”
Soomi clawed at his hands. “I didn’t try and take anything!”
Her attacker’s eyes narrowed. “Liar.” He slammed her head against the counter and then yanked it back so he could look her in the eyes. “You tried to take him from.” He backhanded her, her blood smearing across his hand and her face.
Soomi’s hands hung at her sides, one eye no longer visible because of the blood while the other was full of tears and unfocused. Blood flowed from the new gash on her forehead down the sides of her pale, sweaty face and before her head lolled to the side she sobbed out one name.
“Hyunseung.”
Her attacker straightened up, his eyes never leaving her face. “Is. Mine.” He then used all of his strength to slam her head into the edge of the counter.
Soomi’s body twitched for a moment before finally dying. Her killer flung her body to the ground as if it were a piece of garbage. He then walked out of the apartment, but not before catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror in the hallway.
His reflection smiled back at him.
“Well done Junhyung. Well done.”
~*~*~
“Junhyung.” Hyunseung cupped Junhyung’s face. “Junhyung, wake up.”
Junhyung’s eyes shot open, his hands immediately grabbing for Hyunseung’s wrists.
“It’s okay Jun. It was just a dream.”
Junhyung gripped Hyunseung’s wrists tighter. He blinked rapidly, his breathing ragged. He couldn’t get his heart to slow down and his head was pounding and screaming.
“Look at me Jun.” Hyunseung was sitting on top of Junhyung. “Junhyung, look at me.”
Junhyung stopped blinking, his eyes focusing on his surroundings. He could make out the other members gathered around his bed, their expressions full of concern. He turned his focus to Hyunseung.
“Nightmare.” He was still having trouble getting his heart to slow down.
Hyunseung leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. “You’re okay now. Breathe.” He took in a deep breath himself. “Breathe Jun.”
Junhyung took in several deep breaths, willing himself to focus on anything but the nightmare. He focused on Hyunseung’s eyes, his nose, and his lips. He focused on the feel of their foreheads touching, Hyunseung’s gentle fingers on his cheeks and the soft warm skin beneath his own fingers. He closed his eyes as his heart began to steady and his breathing became normal.
“There you go. Just relax. Everything is okay now.”
Junhyung released Hyunseung’s wrists so he could pull the latter in closer. He rolled the two of them onto their sides and pulled Hyunseung in as close as he could. He closed his eyes and shut everyone and everything out, everyone and everything except for Hyunseung.
He didn’t catch the worried, concerned, and scared looks that the other members, including Hyunseung, shared.
~*~*~
Junhyung sat on the couch in the waiting room of the recording studio, his eyes closed and his ears tuning everyone around him out. He couldn’t focus or think about anything but the most recent nightmare. He hadn’t talked to anyone, Hyunseung included, since last night. All he could see were the images from the nightmare. All he could hear was the sound of Soomi screaming. All he could feel was Soomi’s blood on his hands.
Hyunseung had stayed awake with him throughout the rest of the night and had been hesitant to leave his side since this morning, but it wasn’t helping Junhyung any. His mind was so warped that even Hyunseung couldn’t bring him from his thoughts.
And his thoughts were beginning to upset him more than the nightmare. The voice was back, filling his mind with thoughts and images.
Junhyung’s own thoughts were beginning to mingle with the voices. His once clear and coherent thoughts were becoming jumbled, unclear, and distant as the thoughts brought up by the voice rang louder and louder in his ears.
Hyunseung is yours
Don’t let them touch him
He’s letting them flirt with him
He’s too happy with them. It should only be you he’s that happy with
He should be by your side in your time of need; he should be by your side always
When was the last time you were together, just the two of you
When was the last time he said he loved you
Junhyung was beginning to see things, see things differently. He was beginning to watch. He was beginning to watch and scrutinize and feel. He was beginning to feel a clenching pain in his chest, a stinging burn behind his eyes. He was beginning to feel and see things that a part of him didn’t want to see and feel. But an even larger part of himself couldn’t stop feeling and seeing those things.
Doojoon’s hands on Hyunseung’s waist…Hyunseung smiling, patting said hands
Yoseob’s lips on Hyunseung’s cheeks…Hyunseung laughing, pulling the younger in for a hug
Kikwang’s arms around Hyunseung’s shoulders…Hyunseung’s hands resting on Kikwang’s arms
Dongwoon’s head in Hyunseung’s lap…Hyunseung running fingers through the Maknae’s hair
Junhyung tried to see other things, but he couldn’t. He tried to think other things, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t and he knew, he knewthat something was changing, something inside of him.He was changing and he was beginning to worry, worry about whether or not something good or bad was going to come from it.
~*~*~
Junhyung opened his eyes and removed the headphones from his ears as he finished the last line of his rap.
“That was good Jun, but I want to run through it one more time.” Shinsadong Tiger’s voice rang through the speaker in the recording room. “Give me a minute to reset things and then we’ll do it again.”
Junhyung nodded his head and looked at the waiting room, his eyes narrowing as soon as he did. He clenched his fists.
They’re doing it again
Junhyung watched as Yoseob put his hands on Hyunseung’s shoulders, pulled him into a hug, and nuzzled his face in Hyunseung’s neck. Hyunseung smiled.
They know that you’re watching…don’t they care
He watched as Doojoon came up behind Hyunseung, wrapping his arms around the shorter male and placing a kiss on his temple. Hyunseung grinned.
Don’t they know that he’s yours
Junhyung growled and was about to leave the recording room when Tiger’s voice rang out again.
“Alright Jun, let’s do this one more time and then you’re done for the day.”
Junhyung slammed his fist down on the music stand.
“Everything all right?”
Junhyung popped his neck. “Bug.” He put the headphones back on. “I’m ready.”
The music began to play. Junhyung closed his eyes just as Yoseob leaned up to give Hyunseung another kiss.
~*~*~
Junhyung opted to sit in the front seat of the van on their way home. He was so worked up that he figured it would be best to avoid speaking with the others.
His head was throbbing, pounding, his mind screaming. With every thought it felt like someone was throwing a brick against his skull, he swore he could feel the cracks as they formed. With every image it was like the backs of his eyes were being struck by lightning, frying and burning, engraving a mark each time it struck. His neck ached from twisting and turning and cracking. His jaw ached from clenching and biting back remarks, remarks he desperately wanted to make.
Slowly, but surely he was losing it.
“Yoondoo I’m hungry.” Hyunseung stated as they stepped off of the elevator and headed towards their door.
Doojoon grinned and slung and arm over Hyunseung’s shoulder. “You’re always hungry.”
Hyunseung pouted. “No I’m not. Jun, tell him I’m not always hungry.” With Doojoon still attached to him, he turned around to look at Junhyung, his eyes widening in surprise at the look of anger on his lovers face. He stopped walking. “Jun, are you okay?”
No, he wasn’t okay.
Junhyung popped his neck to the side, his jaw tightening. “Stop touching him.”
Everyone went silent, their eyes wide.
Doojoon furrowed his brows, his hand sliding down Hyunseung’s back.
Junhyung lost it. “I fucking said to stop touching him!” He lunged at Doojoon, sending the older male, back first, into the wall, Doojoon’s head making a loud ‘thump’ as it was slammed against the wall.
Junhyung fisted Doojoon’s shirt, shaking him. “I said don’t touch him!”
“Jun! Jun, let go!” Hyunseung grabbed onto Junhyung’s arm, trying to pry it off of their leader. “Let go!”
Dongwoon wrapped his arms around Junhyung and began pulling. “Hyung! Hyung , stop!”
Doojoon wrapped his hands around Junhyung’s wrists, squeezing them and attempting to push him away. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“You’re what’s wrong with me!” Junhyung went to knee Doojoon, but a thigh stopped him.
“JUNHYUNG STOP!”
Junhyung looked to his right at a terrified and upset looking Hyunseung. He looked back at Doojoon and let out a growl before shoving the latter. He shook Dongwoon and Hyunseung off, picked up his bag, and walked back over to the elevator. He kept his back to everyone while he waited for the doors to open. He didn’t want to look at them, he didn’t want to see their faces, and he didn’t want to see them fawn over Doojoon.
The elevator doors opened and he stepped in, throwing his bag at the mirrors. He turned around just as Hyunseung ran into the elevator before the doors closed and as soon as they did Junhyung moved.
He hit the emergency break button, grabbed Hyunseung by the arms, and all but threw the older male against the mirrors, his grip on Hyunseung’s upper arms bruise worthy.
Hyunseung let out a small yelp at the pain, his eyes going wide at Junhyung’s actions. “Jun, what the he…”
“Tell me you love me.”
Hyunseung looked confused. “What?”
“Tell me you love me!”
Hyunseung relaxed slightly against Junhyung’s grip. “I love you. You know I do.”
Junhyung moved his hands down to Hyunseung’s hips. He ghosted his lips over his lovers. “Say it again.”
“I love you Junhyung.”
Junhyung growled before crashing their lips together in a kiss that was anything but gentle or passionate. He took control of Hyunseung’s mouth, biting, sucking, and dominating. His tongue delved as deep as it could in Hyunseung’s mouth while he ground their hips together roughly, needy. And when Hyunseung moaned, Junhyung lost all control.
The man panting in his mouth was his. Hyunseung was his. Always. And only Junhyung could make Hyunseung moan like that. Only Junhyung could touch Hyunseung like this. Only him.
Only you
Junhyung pulled away, quickly and messily removed their clothing, and crashed their lips back together. He gripped the back of Hyunseung’s thighs and lifted him up, the latter wrapping his legs around Junhyung’s waist. The feel of skin on skin sent Junhyung into a frenzy. He began to mercilessly grind against Hyunseung, the pain in his cock setting him on fire.
“Jun.” It was panted against Junhyung’s lips.
Junhyung didn’t want to talk right now. He bit down on Hyunseung’s lip, hard, the latter squeezing his legs tighter to let it be known that, that hurt. But Junhyung didn’t care. He sucked on the open wound, not minding the coppery taste of the blood as it hit his taste buds. He then bite and sucked his way down Hyunseung’s jaw and neck, Hyunseung letting out moans laced with hisses.
Junhyung began sucking on the base of Hyunseung’s neck as he entered the dancer, rough, quick, and raw.
And then he was lost completely. He didn’t wait for Hyunseung to adjust, he just moved. He was so lost that he didn’t hear Hyunseung’s screams of pain and pleasure. He was so lost that he didn’t feel the tightening of legs around his waist or the nails digging into his back, scratching and making him bleed. He was so lost that he didn’t hear Hyunseung scream I love you over and over and over.
He was lost in Hyunseung. He was lost in the feel of Hyunseung’s naked body flush against his, sweating and riding and leaking. He was lost in the smell of what they were doing, its aroma intoxicating him. He was lost in the essence of what was happening, the gloriousness of each thrust and the tightness and heat that came with them.
He was lost in the thought that this, this is how it was supposed to be. He was lost in the thought that Hyunseung belonged to him, belonged to him and him alone.
When he felt that heat grow tighter and tighter and tighter, when he felt everything within him burn, he bite down on Hyunseung’s collarbone hard and came even harder, his fluid dripping onto the elevator floor.
Junhyung didn’t move for several minutes, letting his breathing become normal and his heart slow down to a steady beat.
And then he opened his eyes and looked up. He looked up into glossy eyes, down tear streaked cheeks, and a bruised and swollen lip. He looked down at a hickey covered neck and stopped at a bleeding collarbone. And his eyes focused and his brain cleared, if only for a few moments.
“Seung.” He shook his head. “Seung, I’m sorry.” He choked on a sob. “I’m so sorry.”
Hyunseung unwrapped his legs from around Junhyung, planting them securely on the floor, and cupped Junhyung’s cheeks. “It’s okay Jun.” He used his thumbs to wipe away tears. “It’s okay.”
Junhyung let out a sob and pulled Hyunseung to him, wrapping his arms around a sticky waist, and burying his face in a sweaty neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He fell to his knees, Hyunseung falling as well.
“It’s okay Jun.” Hyunseung stroked Junhyung’s hair. “Everything is going to be okay.” He pulled Junhyung closer and let his own tears fall, he wasn’t really sure if everything was going to be okay though.
Junhyung sobbed into Hyunseung’s neck. He knew…he knew that things weren’t going to be okay.
~*~*~
Blood dripped from the knife onto the floor, adding more dark liquid to the already blood stained floor. The hand holding the knife moved up to wipe away blood from a cut, swollen cheek.
Junhyung looked around the front room. He looked through hollow eyes at the bloodied, lifeless bodies surrounding him.
He looked at the pale, slit throat of Yoseob. At the oozing hole in Dongwoon’s chest. He looked at the gushing flow of blood and entrails of Kikwang. He took in their closed eyes, their bloody cheeks, and their half open mouths. He took in the hand holding of Kikwang and Dongwoon, and smirked.
He then looked at Doojoon. Poor, bloody, barely alive Doojoon. A cut up Doojoon, holding on to the lifeless hand of Yoseob.
Junhyung made his way towards his leader, his bare feet squishing in warm blood. He squatted next to Doojoon, placing the bloody knife at the gash on the older males’ collarbone. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes blinking as they took in Doojoon’s tears, tears that were mingling with blood. He shook his head.
“Poor, poor Doojoon.” He ran the knife down Doojoon’s chest. “You should have listened to me.”
Doojoon tried to sob, but all that came out was a bloody gurgle. He shook his head, tears falling.
Junhyung stopped the knife at Doojoon’s heart. “This is what happens when you try and take things that aren’t yours. This is what happens when you try to steal what belongs to me.” He put pressure on the knife, the tip of the blade puncturing Doojoon’s skin.
Doojoon let out another gurgle.
“I’m not sorry you know.” He ran a finger down Doojoon’s cheek. “This is how it has to be.” And then he put full pressure onto the knife, the blade cutting through skin, tissue, and muscle. He pushed until the blade pierced through Doojoon’s heart.
Doojoon gurgled, his eyes closing, one last tear falling.
Junhyung grinned. He stood up, leaving the knife in Doojoon.
“Jun.”
Junhyung smiled and turned around, his eyes locking with Hyunseung’s.
“Is it done?”
Junhyung nodded his head and made his way over to his lover. He wrapped his arms around Hyunseung’s waist. “It’s done. They can’t interfere anymore. It’s just you and me now.”
Hyunseung smiled and wrapped his arms around Junhyung’s neck. “Just us.”
“Just us.”
Only us.
~*~*~
Junhyung woke with a start, his head pounding, and his heart racing. He looked around the dark, empty bedroom before sitting up. He was covered in sweat, his wife-beater and sweats clinging to his skin. He stood up, his feet shaky and slightly unstable.
Where was Hyunseung? He needed Hyunseung.
Where do you think he is
Junhyung growled and walked towards the door, opening it quietly at the sound of the voices coming from the front room.
“Seung, are you sure you’re okay?” Doojoon’s concerned voiced rang in Junhyung’s ears.
“Yeah I’m fine. I don’t know why you two are so worried, Jun and I have had rough sex before.” Hyunseung sounded tired.
“Yeah,” Yoseob’s sarcasm drifted through the door, “but you’ve never looked like he beat the shit out of you afterwards.”
Junhyung clenched his teeth. He would never hurt Hyunseung. Never.
They’re putting thoughts into his head
“He didn’t beat me and I don’t look that bad.” Hyunseung didn’t sound convincing. “I’m worried. Something’s not right. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong with Jun.”
Doojoon’s understanding sigh was like a shot through Junhyung’s brain. “We know Seung. Everyone sees it. We’re all worried.”
“Some of us are even afraid.”
Junhyung couldn’t listen to anymore. He walked out of the bedroom, ignored his name being called, and pretended to not notice the three of them sitting on the couch, Hyunseung in the middle with Doojoon’s arm around his waist and Yoseob’s hand in his hair. He walked straight into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind him.
“Fuck!” He slammed his fists into the door before making his way to the sink, his hands resting on the counter. His bloodshot eyes stared back at him.
He was losing it. He could feel it. He felt like he was fighting in a life-altering battle. And the only small, sane part of his brain was losing.
He should be with you, not them
Shut up.
They’re going to take him
Junhyung shook his head. He felt like he was in some horror movie, his neck twisting and turning as he fought and struggled not to cave in, not to lose. His eyes scrunched closed and his jaw clenched as he gripped the sink hard enough hat his knuckles went white.
And then he saw Him. He saw the monster from his nightmares, all dark and evil, dark clothes, dark hair, dark eyes. He saw himself, malicious smirk and foreboding stare. He watched as the monster appeared before his closed eyes and his heart stopped.
He watched as the last sane part of himself-all white, hands trembling, face sweaty-appeared in front of the monster.
The monster glared.
They are going to take him away, away from you and all that you have
The one in white clenched his jaw and fists, his fingernails digging into his palms.
They can’t
The monster took a step forward.
They will. They’ll turn him against you
The sane one shook his head.
They can’t
Another step forward.
They’ll take his love. He’ll choose them over you
The one in white became angry. He took a step forward.
No! They can’t have him
The monster narrowed his eyes as he took another step forward.
You will lose him
Junhyung locked eyes with the monster.
No
The monster grinned.
Forever
Inner Junhyung yelled and lashed out at the monster as his anger and frustration reached its boiling point. But the monster was stronger. He gripped onto Junhyung’s arms and shook him.
You know I’m right. They’ve already begun putting thoughts into his head. Soon he will be theirs
Inner Junhyung, the weak and desperate Junhyung, sobbed.
What do we do
The monster grinned, a victorious grin.
You know what we have to do
Inner Junhyung shook his head.
Yes, yes I do know
The monster smiled. He placed his hands on the others cheeks and kissed his forehead.
Junhyung’s eyes snapped open. He felt a sense of calming as he smiled at his reflection. He knew what he needed to do.
He walked out of the bathroom, ignoring the call of his name as he walked into the kitchen. He grabbed the largest kitchen knife that he could, hid it behind his back, and walked towards the front room.
The other three men stood up.
“Jun, are you okay?”
Junhyung grinned at Hyunseung. “I’m better than okay.”
Yoseob walked up to Junhyung, placed a hand on his shoulder, and looked up through concerned eyes. “Are you sure?”
Junhyung cocked his head to the side. “I’m sure.” And then he made his move. He moved so fast that neither Doojoon nor Hyunseung could comprehend what he was going to do, let alone stop him.
His hand moved with speed and accuracy as he slashed the knife across Yoseob’s throat, blood spraying across the room and onto his own face. Yoseob’s eyes went wide before they rolled into the back of his head. His body fell lifelessly to the ground, blood flowing from his throat and pooling around his head.
Junhyung wiped at the blood on his cheek before looking at the other two.
Doojoon and Hyunseung stood frozen, Yoseob’s blood on their faces, their eyes wide and mouths ajar. Junhyung’s eyes narrowed as he made his way towards them, knife at the ready.
Hyunseung was the first to react. He grabbed onto Doojoon and tried to push him out of Junhyung’s way. “Junhyung stop!”
“Step away from Doojoon Seung. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Hyunseung shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “No Jun. You have to stop.”
Doojoon finally snapped out of it. “WHAT THE FUCK JUNHYUNG! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”
“Only what needed to be done. And I’m not finished.”
Doojoon’s eyes went wide. He grabbed onto Hyunseung’s waist and started backing the two of them up.
And then Junhyung saw red. He lunged at the two of them, grabbing Hyunseung by the front of his shirt and throwing him to the side, the latter hitting his head on a bookshelf and blacking out.
Doojoon grabbed Junhyung’s wrists, trying to stop the knife from getting near him. “What the hell Junhyung!” He didn’t understand why this was happening. He couldn’t comprehend what was going on. “Why?!”
Junhyung shoved Doojoon into the sliding glass door. “You know why!” He pushed the knife closer to Doojoon’s throat. “HE’S MINE!”
And then everything clicked in Doojoon’s brain. Hyunseung. It was all about Hyunseung. And as it dawned on him why this was happening, he let his strength falter and Junhyung sensed it.
Junhyung twisted his arms around until he had a forearm pinned against Doojoon’s throat and the knife pressed against Doojoon’s abdomen.
“He’s mine! No one can have him! No one can take him away!”
Doojoon’s vision was beginning to go blurry. He felt hot tears burn the backs of his eyes and slowly trickle down his cheeks. “He is yours Jun. No one ever wanted to take him away from you.”
Junhyung glared. He was far beyond the point of reason. “You’re lying.” He pressed the knife harder against Doojoon’s stomach, the tip of the blade piercing through shirt and skin.
Doojoon let out a cry of pain. “No Jun! I’m not lying!”
Junhyung leaned into close to Doojoon, their noses touching. “Yes you are.” He then pushed the knife into Doojoon’s stomach. He pushed until he felt blood and skin hit his fingers. He then pushed some more, Doojoon’s body being slammed against the door.
Junhyung twisted the knife and watched through narrowed eyes as Doojoon’s eyes glossed over before finally closing, as Doojoon took his final breath before his body went limp.
The sound of the front door opening reminded Junhyung that there were two other people that he needed to take care of. He removed the knife from Doojoon and turned around at the sound of horrified gasps, ignoring the way Doojoon’s body slid down the glass, a streak of blood in his wake.
Junhyung blinked at Kikwang and Dongwoon, an amused smile on his lips at their horrified expressions. “Hello Maknaes.”
“JUN DON’T!”
Junhyung ignored the awakened Hyunseung and charged the other two.
Dongwoon pushed Kikwang out of the way only to have the knife slash across his chest. He let out yell as he crumpled to the ground. Kikwang tried to run down the hall, but Junhyung slashed the knife across his back, the younger male falling to the ground.
Junhyung went to bend down and finish them off, but was stopped by arms around his waist.
“Junhyung stop!” Hyunseung muffled into Junhyung’s back.
Junhyung sighed and turned around, only to forget what he was going to say when he looked at Hyunseung.
Hyunseung was sobbing. His face was pale and his cheeks soaked with tears and blood, the blood coming from a large cut across his forehead. Hyunseung wasn’t smiling, he wasn’t happy. His eyes were pleading and begging for Junhyung to see him, for Junhyung to hear him, to listen to him.
Hyunseung wasn’t okay and that sparked something in Junhyung. It made him stop and look. He looked past Hyunseung and took in Doojoon’s crumpled dead body. He looked to his left and took in Yoseob’s bloodied dead body. He looked down at his hands, stained with the blood of his brothers. And then he looked at Hyunseung. He looked at the terror and fear and pain in Hyunseung’s eyes and he broke.
He dropped the knife and fell to his knees, his body wracking with sob after sob. “Help me.” He looked up at Hyunseung. “Help me.”
Hyunseung let out a sob and dropped to his knees, pulling Junhyung into his arms.
Junhyung clutched at Hyunseung’s back and sobbed into Hyunseung’s neck. “What have I done?! What’s wrong with me?!”
Hyunseung kissed Junhyung’s temple, Junhyung’s forehead, Junhyung’s nose. He cupped Junhyung’s face in his trembling hands. “Look at me Junhyung.”
Junhyung raised his red, wet eyes to Hyunseung’s.
And then Hyunseung saw him. Hyunseung saw Junhyung. His Junhyung. He saw the man he loved and cherished and worshipped. He saw the man he loved, broken and desperate and in pain.
Hyunseung pressed their faces together, forehead to forehead, nose to nose. Their tears and Hyunseung and Yoseob’s blood mingled on their cheeks. And then he let out a sob as he saw Kikwang crawl from the hallway and Dongwoon reach out his arm, their hands clasping.
He let out a sob that alerted Junhyung as to what was happening behind him and in that second Junhyung’s eyes flickered, the evil and anger making themselves present.
And then Hyunseung knew. He knew that it was too late. He knew that things would never be okay, that Junhyung would never be okay. And he knew what he had to do.
“I love you Junhyung and I always will.” And then they kissed. A kiss of pain and longing and sorrow. A kiss of needing and wanting and love. A kiss that said goodbye.
And when Hyunseung plunged the knife into Junhyung’s gut, his lovers blood running out onto his hand, Junhyung smiled.
He smiled against Hyunseung’s lips and whispered. “I love you.”
And then he was gone, his body going limp against Hyunseung’s, his head resting on Hyunseung’s shoulder.
And then Hyunseung let out a scream, a gut-wrenching, haunting, broken scream. A scream that would haunt Kikwang, Dongwoon, and all those that heard it for the rest of their lives.
”Jealousy is always born with love, but it does not die with it.”
Francois De La Rochefoucauld
Pairing/Main Character: Junhyung, JunSeung
Genre: Horror
Rating: R
Word count: 6,388
Summary: Junhyung knew that something wasn't right, he knew that something was wrong...wrong with him. He could feel it getting worse as the hours and days ticked by, as the nightmares became more realistic, more horrifying. The feelings inside of him were growing stronger with each look and touch he witnessed. They were betraying him, all of them, as they tried to take away what was his. He belonged to Junhyung, no one else, and the monster inside of him knew what needed to be done and Junhyung knew, deep down, that soon he would let the monster take complete control.
A/N: This was the hardest story I have ever written...but it was definitley worth all of the time, sweat, and tears.
”Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest
for it is love and hate at the same time.”
Arab Proverb
Jiyong put a hand over the knife wound on his arm, warm, thick blood seeping through his fingers. He stumbled backwards, letting his legs give way as he felt his calves hit the bathtub. He let out a sob, blood and saliva flowing from his mouth and down his chin, landing in droplets on the tiled floor. There were footsteps in the hallway before the door to the bathroom was kicked open.
Jiyong flinched, his eyes widening in horror as his attacker entered the bathroom, their black boots coming to a stop in front of the droplets of blood. His attacker used his thumb to wipe blood from his own mouth, his lips forming into a smirk.
Jiyong let out another sob as his eyes landed on the bloodied knife in his attacker’s hand. He lowered his head.
“Why?”
His head was yanked back, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“You know why.”
Jiyong tried to shake his head. “No I don’t.”
His hair was yanked harder as the knife slashed across his cheek. Jiyong screamed in pain, blood flowing quickly down his cheek and neck.
“I warned you! I warned you to stay away!” His attacker lowered his head, locking eyes with Jiyong. “But you didn’t listen. And now you’ll pay.”
Jiyong let out a loud sob. “I promise I’ll stay away!”
“It’s too late for that now.” His attacker pulled away, his hand moving to Jiyong’s forehead.
“Please don’t.”
His attacker shook his head. “You’ll never stay away and that’s why you have to die.”
Jiyong’s eyes held a look of pain, sadness, and betrayal.
“Don’t look at me like that G. You’re the one who betrayed me. You tried to take what was mine.”
His attacker covered Jiyong’s eyes. “Nobody can have Him. He’s mine.”
Jiyong let out a strangled sob just before the knife slashed across his throat, blood spattering on the walls and his attackers clothes. His dead body fell to the ground, blood flowing from his throat and pooling around his head.
His murderer left, not once looking at the dead body behind him.
~*~*~
Junhyung woke with a start, his eyes wide and his breathing heavy. He was soaked with sweat, his sheets in a tangled mess around his legs. He blinked several times while trying to get his breathing under control. It was just a nightmare Jun, nothing to be worried about.
“Are you okay?”
Junhyung turned on his side to look at a sleepy, yet concerned Hyunseung.
“I had a nightmare.”
Hyunseung placed a hand on Junhyung’s cheek, his thumb moving back and forth. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
Junhyung shook his head. “Not really.” He placed a kiss on Hyunseung’s hand. “I’m going to go shower, go back to sleep.”
Hyunseung smiled, his eyes already closed. Junhyung got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror before immediately closing his eyes, trying to fight off the images of his dream. It had seemed so real that Junhyung was sure that he had heard the screams and felt the blood.
He looked in the mirror again, running his fingers over his lips. No cuts, no bruising. He shook his head. Of course there weren’t any, it had just been a dream. He sighed as he got into the shower, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him to pay closer attention to the dream.
~*~*~
“Yah!” Hyunseung laughed as he swatted at Yoseob’s hands. “Do you want to die?” He laughed again as the younger male lunged at him, sending them both to the ground, and began tickling him. “Yang Yoseob!” He laughed as he tried to fight the younger off, the two of them rolling around on the floor of the dance studio.
Kikwang laughed and sprawled himself on top of the other two; tickling whomever he could get his hands on. Their laughter echoed throughout the studio and soon screams and yelps were heard as Dongwoon joined in.
Junhyung sat against one of the rows of mirrors, a small smile on his face as he watched the four in front of him. He was trying to fight off a headache and his whole body was tired and achy. He hadn’t slept much in the past couple of days, not since the night he’d had that dream. Ever since then, every time he’d close his eyes, he would see a bloodied and desperate Jiyong, a helpless and sad Jiyong, and a dead Jiyong. So Junhyung had opted not to close his eyes and forgo sleep, as long as it meant that he didn’t have to see those images. It was beginning to take its toll on his body.
Junhyung refocused his eyes as a scream came from the four in front of him.
“Lee Kikwang! I cannot believe that you just bit me!” Hyunseung laughed as he wiped Kikwang’s saliva off of his hand onto Dongwoon’s cheek.
“Ew Hyung, that’s gross!” Dongwoon rubbed at his cheek.
Kikwang grinned. “You taste good Seungie.”
Hyunseung looked bewildered. “I’m all sweaty!” He yelped as a pair of lips planted themselves on his neck.
Yoseob gave an innocent look. “Your sweat tastes good though.”
“And people call me weird!” Hyunseung laughed again as Kikwang and Yoseob tried to ‘taste’ him. He turned his head to the side and locked eyes with Junhyung. He smiled and winked at the rapper before giving another yelp as another pair of lips landed on his neck.
Junhyung clenched his jaw, his neck straining slightly as he tried to block off the headache and the voice disguised within it.
They shouldn’t be touching him like that
Junhyung closed his eyes. He didn’t care; they always touch him like that.
But he’s yours to touch, not theirs
He squeezed his eyes shut tighter. Shut up. His head was pounding.
Those should be your lips and your hands, not theirs
Junhyung pressed his palms to his eyes. Shut up. Shut up.
His eyes should only glow like that for you, not them
“Shut up!” Junhyung’s eyes snapped open as everyone in the studio went quiet. He locked eyes with Hyunseung’s glowing ones, let out a frustrated yell, and stormed out of the studio.
He leaned against the wall in the hallway and closed his eyes. He was getting sick of this. The voice had been making itself known since the dream, taunting and teasing Junhyung with thoughts that he did his best to ignore. It was as if the voice was planting itself in Junhyung’s brain, making sure he relived every taunt and saw things that just weren’t happening. It was starting to takes its toll and weigh him down. And the worst part was that Junhyung was finding it harder and harder to ignore that voice and to not see what it wanted him to see.
Just then, as if the voice knew his every thought, the image of Yoseob’s lips on Hyunseung’s neck played in front of his eyes, followed by Kikwang doing the same thing. The images replayed themselves over and over.
“Stop.” Junhyung hit his head against the wall. “Stop!”
“Jun?”
The images disappeared as Junhyung opened his eyes, his being met with dark worried ones.
Hyunseung placed a hand on Junhyung’s cheek, wiping away a single tear. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” His voice was raspy.
“Are you sure?” Hyunseung stepped closer, placing his other hand on Junhyung’s other cheek. “I’m worried about you.”
Junhyung pulled Hyunseung into a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m just really tired.”
Hyunseung rested his head on Junhyung’s shoulder, his arms wrapping around the younger’s waist. “That’s because you haven’t slept in 2 days.”
“How did you know?” He squeezed Hyunseung’s waist. “You’ve been sound asleep the past 2 nights.”
Hyunseung let out a small laugh, his breath tickling Junhyung’s neck. “Because when you sleep I usually wake up in your arms.” He nuzzled the base of Junhyung’s neck. “I’ve woken up alone the past 2 days, which means you haven’t been sleeping.”
Junhyung kissed Hyunseung’s temple. “I’m sorry. My mind has been preoccupied.” He pulled away so the two of them could look at each other, his hands cupping Hyunseung’s cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry.” Hyunseung smiled as he put his hands over Junhyung’s. “And don’t worry, I’ll make sure you sleep tonight.”
Junhyung kissed Hyunseung, slow and meaningful. He smiled as they pulled apart. “I love you.”
Hyunseung grinned. “I know.”
~*~*~
Soomi turned her back to run, screaming as the blade slashed across her upper arm, her own blood spattering across her face. She ran towards the kitchen, only to slip on the blood that was pooling on the floor. She scrambled to get up, her legs and hands now covered in Chanmi’s blood.
Just as Soomi got up, a hand grabbed her hair and pushed her back to the ground. She let out a scream as she landed face first in Chanmi’s blood. She tried to stand up, but was kicked in the stomach and flipped over onto her back.
“Help!” She screamed and tried, once again, to get up.
Her attacker didn’t let her get far though as he bent down, wrapped his hands around her neck, and forced her onto her feet.
“No one is going to help you, you stupid bitch.”
Soomi reached her hand out and dug her nails into her attacker’s forehead and dragged them down, skin building up beneath her fingernails. Her attacker yelled and flung her to the side.
“You bitch!”
Soomi made it a few steps into the kitchen before she was kicked in the back. She flew forward, her head slamming into the kitchen counter, a gash appearing instantly across her eye. She screamed as she placed a hand over the gash, warm thick blood oozing through her fingers.
“You fucking bitch.” Her attacker grabbed her by the back of the head and forced her to look at him.
Soomi began to sob hysterically. “Why? I thought we were friends!”
Her attacker sneered. “Why would I be friends with a slut?” He yanked on her hair harder. “Because that’s what you are. A filthy fucking slut who thought she could take what’s mine.”
Soomi clawed at his hands. “I didn’t try and take anything!”
Her attacker’s eyes narrowed. “Liar.” He slammed her head against the counter and then yanked it back so he could look her in the eyes. “You tried to take him from.” He backhanded her, her blood smearing across his hand and her face.
Soomi’s hands hung at her sides, one eye no longer visible because of the blood while the other was full of tears and unfocused. Blood flowed from the new gash on her forehead down the sides of her pale, sweaty face and before her head lolled to the side she sobbed out one name.
“Hyunseung.”
Her attacker straightened up, his eyes never leaving her face. “Is. Mine.” He then used all of his strength to slam her head into the edge of the counter.
Soomi’s body twitched for a moment before finally dying. Her killer flung her body to the ground as if it were a piece of garbage. He then walked out of the apartment, but not before catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror in the hallway.
His reflection smiled back at him.
“Well done Junhyung. Well done.”
~*~*~
“Junhyung.” Hyunseung cupped Junhyung’s face. “Junhyung, wake up.”
Junhyung’s eyes shot open, his hands immediately grabbing for Hyunseung’s wrists.
“It’s okay Jun. It was just a dream.”
Junhyung gripped Hyunseung’s wrists tighter. He blinked rapidly, his breathing ragged. He couldn’t get his heart to slow down and his head was pounding and screaming.
“Look at me Jun.” Hyunseung was sitting on top of Junhyung. “Junhyung, look at me.”
Junhyung stopped blinking, his eyes focusing on his surroundings. He could make out the other members gathered around his bed, their expressions full of concern. He turned his focus to Hyunseung.
“Nightmare.” He was still having trouble getting his heart to slow down.
Hyunseung leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. “You’re okay now. Breathe.” He took in a deep breath himself. “Breathe Jun.”
Junhyung took in several deep breaths, willing himself to focus on anything but the nightmare. He focused on Hyunseung’s eyes, his nose, and his lips. He focused on the feel of their foreheads touching, Hyunseung’s gentle fingers on his cheeks and the soft warm skin beneath his own fingers. He closed his eyes as his heart began to steady and his breathing became normal.
“There you go. Just relax. Everything is okay now.”
Junhyung released Hyunseung’s wrists so he could pull the latter in closer. He rolled the two of them onto their sides and pulled Hyunseung in as close as he could. He closed his eyes and shut everyone and everything out, everyone and everything except for Hyunseung.
He didn’t catch the worried, concerned, and scared looks that the other members, including Hyunseung, shared.
~*~*~
Junhyung sat on the couch in the waiting room of the recording studio, his eyes closed and his ears tuning everyone around him out. He couldn’t focus or think about anything but the most recent nightmare. He hadn’t talked to anyone, Hyunseung included, since last night. All he could see were the images from the nightmare. All he could hear was the sound of Soomi screaming. All he could feel was Soomi’s blood on his hands.
Hyunseung had stayed awake with him throughout the rest of the night and had been hesitant to leave his side since this morning, but it wasn’t helping Junhyung any. His mind was so warped that even Hyunseung couldn’t bring him from his thoughts.
And his thoughts were beginning to upset him more than the nightmare. The voice was back, filling his mind with thoughts and images.
Junhyung’s own thoughts were beginning to mingle with the voices. His once clear and coherent thoughts were becoming jumbled, unclear, and distant as the thoughts brought up by the voice rang louder and louder in his ears.
Hyunseung is yours
Don’t let them touch him
He’s letting them flirt with him
He’s too happy with them. It should only be you he’s that happy with
He should be by your side in your time of need; he should be by your side always
When was the last time you were together, just the two of you
When was the last time he said he loved you
Junhyung was beginning to see things, see things differently. He was beginning to watch. He was beginning to watch and scrutinize and feel. He was beginning to feel a clenching pain in his chest, a stinging burn behind his eyes. He was beginning to feel and see things that a part of him didn’t want to see and feel. But an even larger part of himself couldn’t stop feeling and seeing those things.
Doojoon’s hands on Hyunseung’s waist…Hyunseung smiling, patting said hands
Yoseob’s lips on Hyunseung’s cheeks…Hyunseung laughing, pulling the younger in for a hug
Kikwang’s arms around Hyunseung’s shoulders…Hyunseung’s hands resting on Kikwang’s arms
Dongwoon’s head in Hyunseung’s lap…Hyunseung running fingers through the Maknae’s hair
Junhyung tried to see other things, but he couldn’t. He tried to think other things, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t and he knew, he knewthat something was changing, something inside of him.He was changing and he was beginning to worry, worry about whether or not something good or bad was going to come from it.
~*~*~
Junhyung opened his eyes and removed the headphones from his ears as he finished the last line of his rap.
“That was good Jun, but I want to run through it one more time.” Shinsadong Tiger’s voice rang through the speaker in the recording room. “Give me a minute to reset things and then we’ll do it again.”
Junhyung nodded his head and looked at the waiting room, his eyes narrowing as soon as he did. He clenched his fists.
They’re doing it again
Junhyung watched as Yoseob put his hands on Hyunseung’s shoulders, pulled him into a hug, and nuzzled his face in Hyunseung’s neck. Hyunseung smiled.
They know that you’re watching…don’t they care
He watched as Doojoon came up behind Hyunseung, wrapping his arms around the shorter male and placing a kiss on his temple. Hyunseung grinned.
Don’t they know that he’s yours
Junhyung growled and was about to leave the recording room when Tiger’s voice rang out again.
“Alright Jun, let’s do this one more time and then you’re done for the day.”
Junhyung slammed his fist down on the music stand.
“Everything all right?”
Junhyung popped his neck. “Bug.” He put the headphones back on. “I’m ready.”
The music began to play. Junhyung closed his eyes just as Yoseob leaned up to give Hyunseung another kiss.
~*~*~
Junhyung opted to sit in the front seat of the van on their way home. He was so worked up that he figured it would be best to avoid speaking with the others.
His head was throbbing, pounding, his mind screaming. With every thought it felt like someone was throwing a brick against his skull, he swore he could feel the cracks as they formed. With every image it was like the backs of his eyes were being struck by lightning, frying and burning, engraving a mark each time it struck. His neck ached from twisting and turning and cracking. His jaw ached from clenching and biting back remarks, remarks he desperately wanted to make.
Slowly, but surely he was losing it.
“Yoondoo I’m hungry.” Hyunseung stated as they stepped off of the elevator and headed towards their door.
Doojoon grinned and slung and arm over Hyunseung’s shoulder. “You’re always hungry.”
Hyunseung pouted. “No I’m not. Jun, tell him I’m not always hungry.” With Doojoon still attached to him, he turned around to look at Junhyung, his eyes widening in surprise at the look of anger on his lovers face. He stopped walking. “Jun, are you okay?”
No, he wasn’t okay.
Junhyung popped his neck to the side, his jaw tightening. “Stop touching him.”
Everyone went silent, their eyes wide.
Doojoon furrowed his brows, his hand sliding down Hyunseung’s back.
Junhyung lost it. “I fucking said to stop touching him!” He lunged at Doojoon, sending the older male, back first, into the wall, Doojoon’s head making a loud ‘thump’ as it was slammed against the wall.
Junhyung fisted Doojoon’s shirt, shaking him. “I said don’t touch him!”
“Jun! Jun, let go!” Hyunseung grabbed onto Junhyung’s arm, trying to pry it off of their leader. “Let go!”
Dongwoon wrapped his arms around Junhyung and began pulling. “Hyung! Hyung , stop!”
Doojoon wrapped his hands around Junhyung’s wrists, squeezing them and attempting to push him away. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“You’re what’s wrong with me!” Junhyung went to knee Doojoon, but a thigh stopped him.
“JUNHYUNG STOP!”
Junhyung looked to his right at a terrified and upset looking Hyunseung. He looked back at Doojoon and let out a growl before shoving the latter. He shook Dongwoon and Hyunseung off, picked up his bag, and walked back over to the elevator. He kept his back to everyone while he waited for the doors to open. He didn’t want to look at them, he didn’t want to see their faces, and he didn’t want to see them fawn over Doojoon.
The elevator doors opened and he stepped in, throwing his bag at the mirrors. He turned around just as Hyunseung ran into the elevator before the doors closed and as soon as they did Junhyung moved.
He hit the emergency break button, grabbed Hyunseung by the arms, and all but threw the older male against the mirrors, his grip on Hyunseung’s upper arms bruise worthy.
Hyunseung let out a small yelp at the pain, his eyes going wide at Junhyung’s actions. “Jun, what the he…”
“Tell me you love me.”
Hyunseung looked confused. “What?”
“Tell me you love me!”
Hyunseung relaxed slightly against Junhyung’s grip. “I love you. You know I do.”
Junhyung moved his hands down to Hyunseung’s hips. He ghosted his lips over his lovers. “Say it again.”
“I love you Junhyung.”
Junhyung growled before crashing their lips together in a kiss that was anything but gentle or passionate. He took control of Hyunseung’s mouth, biting, sucking, and dominating. His tongue delved as deep as it could in Hyunseung’s mouth while he ground their hips together roughly, needy. And when Hyunseung moaned, Junhyung lost all control.
The man panting in his mouth was his. Hyunseung was his. Always. And only Junhyung could make Hyunseung moan like that. Only Junhyung could touch Hyunseung like this. Only him.
Only you
Junhyung pulled away, quickly and messily removed their clothing, and crashed their lips back together. He gripped the back of Hyunseung’s thighs and lifted him up, the latter wrapping his legs around Junhyung’s waist. The feel of skin on skin sent Junhyung into a frenzy. He began to mercilessly grind against Hyunseung, the pain in his cock setting him on fire.
“Jun.” It was panted against Junhyung’s lips.
Junhyung didn’t want to talk right now. He bit down on Hyunseung’s lip, hard, the latter squeezing his legs tighter to let it be known that, that hurt. But Junhyung didn’t care. He sucked on the open wound, not minding the coppery taste of the blood as it hit his taste buds. He then bite and sucked his way down Hyunseung’s jaw and neck, Hyunseung letting out moans laced with hisses.
Junhyung began sucking on the base of Hyunseung’s neck as he entered the dancer, rough, quick, and raw.
And then he was lost completely. He didn’t wait for Hyunseung to adjust, he just moved. He was so lost that he didn’t hear Hyunseung’s screams of pain and pleasure. He was so lost that he didn’t feel the tightening of legs around his waist or the nails digging into his back, scratching and making him bleed. He was so lost that he didn’t hear Hyunseung scream I love you over and over and over.
He was lost in Hyunseung. He was lost in the feel of Hyunseung’s naked body flush against his, sweating and riding and leaking. He was lost in the smell of what they were doing, its aroma intoxicating him. He was lost in the essence of what was happening, the gloriousness of each thrust and the tightness and heat that came with them.
He was lost in the thought that this, this is how it was supposed to be. He was lost in the thought that Hyunseung belonged to him, belonged to him and him alone.
When he felt that heat grow tighter and tighter and tighter, when he felt everything within him burn, he bite down on Hyunseung’s collarbone hard and came even harder, his fluid dripping onto the elevator floor.
Junhyung didn’t move for several minutes, letting his breathing become normal and his heart slow down to a steady beat.
And then he opened his eyes and looked up. He looked up into glossy eyes, down tear streaked cheeks, and a bruised and swollen lip. He looked down at a hickey covered neck and stopped at a bleeding collarbone. And his eyes focused and his brain cleared, if only for a few moments.
“Seung.” He shook his head. “Seung, I’m sorry.” He choked on a sob. “I’m so sorry.”
Hyunseung unwrapped his legs from around Junhyung, planting them securely on the floor, and cupped Junhyung’s cheeks. “It’s okay Jun.” He used his thumbs to wipe away tears. “It’s okay.”
Junhyung let out a sob and pulled Hyunseung to him, wrapping his arms around a sticky waist, and burying his face in a sweaty neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He fell to his knees, Hyunseung falling as well.
“It’s okay Jun.” Hyunseung stroked Junhyung’s hair. “Everything is going to be okay.” He pulled Junhyung closer and let his own tears fall, he wasn’t really sure if everything was going to be okay though.
Junhyung sobbed into Hyunseung’s neck. He knew…he knew that things weren’t going to be okay.
~*~*~
Blood dripped from the knife onto the floor, adding more dark liquid to the already blood stained floor. The hand holding the knife moved up to wipe away blood from a cut, swollen cheek.
Junhyung looked around the front room. He looked through hollow eyes at the bloodied, lifeless bodies surrounding him.
He looked at the pale, slit throat of Yoseob. At the oozing hole in Dongwoon’s chest. He looked at the gushing flow of blood and entrails of Kikwang. He took in their closed eyes, their bloody cheeks, and their half open mouths. He took in the hand holding of Kikwang and Dongwoon, and smirked.
He then looked at Doojoon. Poor, bloody, barely alive Doojoon. A cut up Doojoon, holding on to the lifeless hand of Yoseob.
Junhyung made his way towards his leader, his bare feet squishing in warm blood. He squatted next to Doojoon, placing the bloody knife at the gash on the older males’ collarbone. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes blinking as they took in Doojoon’s tears, tears that were mingling with blood. He shook his head.
“Poor, poor Doojoon.” He ran the knife down Doojoon’s chest. “You should have listened to me.”
Doojoon tried to sob, but all that came out was a bloody gurgle. He shook his head, tears falling.
Junhyung stopped the knife at Doojoon’s heart. “This is what happens when you try and take things that aren’t yours. This is what happens when you try to steal what belongs to me.” He put pressure on the knife, the tip of the blade puncturing Doojoon’s skin.
Doojoon let out another gurgle.
“I’m not sorry you know.” He ran a finger down Doojoon’s cheek. “This is how it has to be.” And then he put full pressure onto the knife, the blade cutting through skin, tissue, and muscle. He pushed until the blade pierced through Doojoon’s heart.
Doojoon gurgled, his eyes closing, one last tear falling.
Junhyung grinned. He stood up, leaving the knife in Doojoon.
“Jun.”
Junhyung smiled and turned around, his eyes locking with Hyunseung’s.
“Is it done?”
Junhyung nodded his head and made his way over to his lover. He wrapped his arms around Hyunseung’s waist. “It’s done. They can’t interfere anymore. It’s just you and me now.”
Hyunseung smiled and wrapped his arms around Junhyung’s neck. “Just us.”
“Just us.”
Only us.
~*~*~
Junhyung woke with a start, his head pounding, and his heart racing. He looked around the dark, empty bedroom before sitting up. He was covered in sweat, his wife-beater and sweats clinging to his skin. He stood up, his feet shaky and slightly unstable.
Where was Hyunseung? He needed Hyunseung.
Where do you think he is
Junhyung growled and walked towards the door, opening it quietly at the sound of the voices coming from the front room.
“Seung, are you sure you’re okay?” Doojoon’s concerned voiced rang in Junhyung’s ears.
“Yeah I’m fine. I don’t know why you two are so worried, Jun and I have had rough sex before.” Hyunseung sounded tired.
“Yeah,” Yoseob’s sarcasm drifted through the door, “but you’ve never looked like he beat the shit out of you afterwards.”
Junhyung clenched his teeth. He would never hurt Hyunseung. Never.
They’re putting thoughts into his head
“He didn’t beat me and I don’t look that bad.” Hyunseung didn’t sound convincing. “I’m worried. Something’s not right. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong with Jun.”
Doojoon’s understanding sigh was like a shot through Junhyung’s brain. “We know Seung. Everyone sees it. We’re all worried.”
“Some of us are even afraid.”
Junhyung couldn’t listen to anymore. He walked out of the bedroom, ignored his name being called, and pretended to not notice the three of them sitting on the couch, Hyunseung in the middle with Doojoon’s arm around his waist and Yoseob’s hand in his hair. He walked straight into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind him.
“Fuck!” He slammed his fists into the door before making his way to the sink, his hands resting on the counter. His bloodshot eyes stared back at him.
He was losing it. He could feel it. He felt like he was fighting in a life-altering battle. And the only small, sane part of his brain was losing.
He should be with you, not them
Shut up.
They’re going to take him
Junhyung shook his head. He felt like he was in some horror movie, his neck twisting and turning as he fought and struggled not to cave in, not to lose. His eyes scrunched closed and his jaw clenched as he gripped the sink hard enough hat his knuckles went white.
And then he saw Him. He saw the monster from his nightmares, all dark and evil, dark clothes, dark hair, dark eyes. He saw himself, malicious smirk and foreboding stare. He watched as the monster appeared before his closed eyes and his heart stopped.
He watched as the last sane part of himself-all white, hands trembling, face sweaty-appeared in front of the monster.
The monster glared.
They are going to take him away, away from you and all that you have
The one in white clenched his jaw and fists, his fingernails digging into his palms.
They can’t
The monster took a step forward.
They will. They’ll turn him against you
The sane one shook his head.
They can’t
Another step forward.
They’ll take his love. He’ll choose them over you
The one in white became angry. He took a step forward.
No! They can’t have him
The monster narrowed his eyes as he took another step forward.
You will lose him
Junhyung locked eyes with the monster.
No
The monster grinned.
Forever
Inner Junhyung yelled and lashed out at the monster as his anger and frustration reached its boiling point. But the monster was stronger. He gripped onto Junhyung’s arms and shook him.
You know I’m right. They’ve already begun putting thoughts into his head. Soon he will be theirs
Inner Junhyung, the weak and desperate Junhyung, sobbed.
What do we do
The monster grinned, a victorious grin.
You know what we have to do
Inner Junhyung shook his head.
Yes, yes I do know
The monster smiled. He placed his hands on the others cheeks and kissed his forehead.
Junhyung’s eyes snapped open. He felt a sense of calming as he smiled at his reflection. He knew what he needed to do.
He walked out of the bathroom, ignoring the call of his name as he walked into the kitchen. He grabbed the largest kitchen knife that he could, hid it behind his back, and walked towards the front room.
The other three men stood up.
“Jun, are you okay?”
Junhyung grinned at Hyunseung. “I’m better than okay.”
Yoseob walked up to Junhyung, placed a hand on his shoulder, and looked up through concerned eyes. “Are you sure?”
Junhyung cocked his head to the side. “I’m sure.” And then he made his move. He moved so fast that neither Doojoon nor Hyunseung could comprehend what he was going to do, let alone stop him.
His hand moved with speed and accuracy as he slashed the knife across Yoseob’s throat, blood spraying across the room and onto his own face. Yoseob’s eyes went wide before they rolled into the back of his head. His body fell lifelessly to the ground, blood flowing from his throat and pooling around his head.
Junhyung wiped at the blood on his cheek before looking at the other two.
Doojoon and Hyunseung stood frozen, Yoseob’s blood on their faces, their eyes wide and mouths ajar. Junhyung’s eyes narrowed as he made his way towards them, knife at the ready.
Hyunseung was the first to react. He grabbed onto Doojoon and tried to push him out of Junhyung’s way. “Junhyung stop!”
“Step away from Doojoon Seung. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Hyunseung shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “No Jun. You have to stop.”
Doojoon finally snapped out of it. “WHAT THE FUCK JUNHYUNG! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”
“Only what needed to be done. And I’m not finished.”
Doojoon’s eyes went wide. He grabbed onto Hyunseung’s waist and started backing the two of them up.
And then Junhyung saw red. He lunged at the two of them, grabbing Hyunseung by the front of his shirt and throwing him to the side, the latter hitting his head on a bookshelf and blacking out.
Doojoon grabbed Junhyung’s wrists, trying to stop the knife from getting near him. “What the hell Junhyung!” He didn’t understand why this was happening. He couldn’t comprehend what was going on. “Why?!”
Junhyung shoved Doojoon into the sliding glass door. “You know why!” He pushed the knife closer to Doojoon’s throat. “HE’S MINE!”
And then everything clicked in Doojoon’s brain. Hyunseung. It was all about Hyunseung. And as it dawned on him why this was happening, he let his strength falter and Junhyung sensed it.
Junhyung twisted his arms around until he had a forearm pinned against Doojoon’s throat and the knife pressed against Doojoon’s abdomen.
“He’s mine! No one can have him! No one can take him away!”
Doojoon’s vision was beginning to go blurry. He felt hot tears burn the backs of his eyes and slowly trickle down his cheeks. “He is yours Jun. No one ever wanted to take him away from you.”
Junhyung glared. He was far beyond the point of reason. “You’re lying.” He pressed the knife harder against Doojoon’s stomach, the tip of the blade piercing through shirt and skin.
Doojoon let out a cry of pain. “No Jun! I’m not lying!”
Junhyung leaned into close to Doojoon, their noses touching. “Yes you are.” He then pushed the knife into Doojoon’s stomach. He pushed until he felt blood and skin hit his fingers. He then pushed some more, Doojoon’s body being slammed against the door.
Junhyung twisted the knife and watched through narrowed eyes as Doojoon’s eyes glossed over before finally closing, as Doojoon took his final breath before his body went limp.
The sound of the front door opening reminded Junhyung that there were two other people that he needed to take care of. He removed the knife from Doojoon and turned around at the sound of horrified gasps, ignoring the way Doojoon’s body slid down the glass, a streak of blood in his wake.
Junhyung blinked at Kikwang and Dongwoon, an amused smile on his lips at their horrified expressions. “Hello Maknaes.”
“JUN DON’T!”
Junhyung ignored the awakened Hyunseung and charged the other two.
Dongwoon pushed Kikwang out of the way only to have the knife slash across his chest. He let out yell as he crumpled to the ground. Kikwang tried to run down the hall, but Junhyung slashed the knife across his back, the younger male falling to the ground.
Junhyung went to bend down and finish them off, but was stopped by arms around his waist.
“Junhyung stop!” Hyunseung muffled into Junhyung’s back.
Junhyung sighed and turned around, only to forget what he was going to say when he looked at Hyunseung.
Hyunseung was sobbing. His face was pale and his cheeks soaked with tears and blood, the blood coming from a large cut across his forehead. Hyunseung wasn’t smiling, he wasn’t happy. His eyes were pleading and begging for Junhyung to see him, for Junhyung to hear him, to listen to him.
Hyunseung wasn’t okay and that sparked something in Junhyung. It made him stop and look. He looked past Hyunseung and took in Doojoon’s crumpled dead body. He looked to his left and took in Yoseob’s bloodied dead body. He looked down at his hands, stained with the blood of his brothers. And then he looked at Hyunseung. He looked at the terror and fear and pain in Hyunseung’s eyes and he broke.
He dropped the knife and fell to his knees, his body wracking with sob after sob. “Help me.” He looked up at Hyunseung. “Help me.”
Hyunseung let out a sob and dropped to his knees, pulling Junhyung into his arms.
Junhyung clutched at Hyunseung’s back and sobbed into Hyunseung’s neck. “What have I done?! What’s wrong with me?!”
Hyunseung kissed Junhyung’s temple, Junhyung’s forehead, Junhyung’s nose. He cupped Junhyung’s face in his trembling hands. “Look at me Junhyung.”
Junhyung raised his red, wet eyes to Hyunseung’s.
And then Hyunseung saw him. Hyunseung saw Junhyung. His Junhyung. He saw the man he loved and cherished and worshipped. He saw the man he loved, broken and desperate and in pain.
Hyunseung pressed their faces together, forehead to forehead, nose to nose. Their tears and Hyunseung and Yoseob’s blood mingled on their cheeks. And then he let out a sob as he saw Kikwang crawl from the hallway and Dongwoon reach out his arm, their hands clasping.
He let out a sob that alerted Junhyung as to what was happening behind him and in that second Junhyung’s eyes flickered, the evil and anger making themselves present.
And then Hyunseung knew. He knew that it was too late. He knew that things would never be okay, that Junhyung would never be okay. And he knew what he had to do.
“I love you Junhyung and I always will.” And then they kissed. A kiss of pain and longing and sorrow. A kiss of needing and wanting and love. A kiss that said goodbye.
And when Hyunseung plunged the knife into Junhyung’s gut, his lovers blood running out onto his hand, Junhyung smiled.
He smiled against Hyunseung’s lips and whispered. “I love you.”
And then he was gone, his body going limp against Hyunseung’s, his head resting on Hyunseung’s shoulder.
And then Hyunseung let out a scream, a gut-wrenching, haunting, broken scream. A scream that would haunt Kikwang, Dongwoon, and all those that heard it for the rest of their lives.
”Jealousy is always born with love, but it does not die with it.”
Francois De La Rochefoucauld