smile starts to fade, I know that I'm alone...
God, this sucks. It really fucking does. I'm sick of being there for friends who only talk to me when they need something from me. I'm sick of calling people who don't call me back. And I'm sick of having friends who are fake.
God, Lindsey is a better friend to me then most friends that I've known forever, and I just fucking met her last week. And I want to fucking cry right now, but I can't because the damn medicine I'm on doesn't let me experience extreme lows. God, this FUCKING SUCKS. I want to cry but I fucking can't. It's just sitting inside me. So I call Kristina today, and here's how she answers the phone: "hey, I'm gonna call you back." And I was like, okay but call me soon okay? and she was like "yeah, I will." So five hours later, I call her back and she doesn't pick up so I leave a message like "ummmm....call me back." So finally like an hour later she calls me and starts talking to me about the weed she got (no apology mind you) and how much it's gonna cost me, so I'm like...yeah, okay. Then she's like "well I'm going to work, talk to you later" and I was like "is that all you have?" and she was like "yeah" so I was like "nothing else" and she was like, "no why" and I was like "cuz it's my birthday" and she's like "OH MY GOD! I totally forgot. Well, happy birthday and I love you, bye!" I was like...um.....okay. Like, she's seriously one of my CLOSEST friends, the one I thought I could depend on for anything, but she just let me down....like every other friend I've ever had in my life. For real, I think Nicole has been the only real friend I've ever had. Like...real real. You know? And Nicole, (I know you're reading this!) I miss ylu like fucking crazy and I love you to death. You're seriously the only thing I miss about living back home. Seriously. I know that we'll be friends FOREVER. And our kids will be friends, and they can play in the backyard when they play in the backyard we're going to be sitting on the porch with our husbands like fiddeling around with the car (cuz obviously they'll be best friends too because we hang out like all the time) and we'll be sitting on the back porch laughing about when we worked at AAA and how we thought scott was gay and how mike was a moody man and we'll always be bestest of friends. I miss you and want to steal you and Jared and make you guys live up here with me so that I have sane people to talk to.
Okay, I'm done with that rant.
So both of my roomates left kind of early today, Lindsey had to work and Morgan went out with some friends, so I've been home alone ALL DAY! It's been so frickin boring. I wish I had some weed...seriously...I would have just baked all day. I need to start buying it in large quantities!!!! But my last roomate, Danielle called me today to wish me a happy birthday (like a real friend) and told me that she's going to come up tonight instead of tomorrow to spend my birthday with me!! And Lindsey is coming back after work and making me a cake. (I love her). We hung out before she had to go to work today, and made a tornado out of two empty two leaders and purple water, and decided that whenever we get two two leaders, we're going to make tornados in like a rainbow of colors and put them up against our extremely large window. I hope that tonight is better than today. =o(
God, Lindsey is a better friend to me then most friends that I've known forever, and I just fucking met her last week. And I want to fucking cry right now, but I can't because the damn medicine I'm on doesn't let me experience extreme lows. God, this FUCKING SUCKS. I want to cry but I fucking can't. It's just sitting inside me. So I call Kristina today, and here's how she answers the phone: "hey, I'm gonna call you back." And I was like, okay but call me soon okay? and she was like "yeah, I will." So five hours later, I call her back and she doesn't pick up so I leave a message like "ummmm....call me back." So finally like an hour later she calls me and starts talking to me about the weed she got (no apology mind you) and how much it's gonna cost me, so I'm like...yeah, okay. Then she's like "well I'm going to work, talk to you later" and I was like "is that all you have?" and she was like "yeah" so I was like "nothing else" and she was like, "no why" and I was like "cuz it's my birthday" and she's like "OH MY GOD! I totally forgot. Well, happy birthday and I love you, bye!" I was like...um.....okay. Like, she's seriously one of my CLOSEST friends, the one I thought I could depend on for anything, but she just let me down....like every other friend I've ever had in my life. For real, I think Nicole has been the only real friend I've ever had. Like...real real. You know? And Nicole, (I know you're reading this!) I miss ylu like fucking crazy and I love you to death. You're seriously the only thing I miss about living back home. Seriously. I know that we'll be friends FOREVER. And our kids will be friends, and they can play in the backyard when they play in the backyard we're going to be sitting on the porch with our husbands like fiddeling around with the car (cuz obviously they'll be best friends too because we hang out like all the time) and we'll be sitting on the back porch laughing about when we worked at AAA and how we thought scott was gay and how mike was a moody man and we'll always be bestest of friends. I miss you and want to steal you and Jared and make you guys live up here with me so that I have sane people to talk to.
Okay, I'm done with that rant.
So both of my roomates left kind of early today, Lindsey had to work and Morgan went out with some friends, so I've been home alone ALL DAY! It's been so frickin boring. I wish I had some weed...seriously...I would have just baked all day. I need to start buying it in large quantities!!!! But my last roomate, Danielle called me today to wish me a happy birthday (like a real friend) and told me that she's going to come up tonight instead of tomorrow to spend my birthday with me!! And Lindsey is coming back after work and making me a cake. (I love her). We hung out before she had to go to work today, and made a tornado out of two empty two leaders and purple water, and decided that whenever we get two two leaders, we're going to make tornados in like a rainbow of colors and put them up against our extremely large window. I hope that tonight is better than today. =o(