(no subject)
Nick got to come home from the 23rd til the 26th. I got to actually spend like 3 hours with him. Its better than nothing I guess. He met my whole family, well my dads side. He was all nervouse and shy it was cute seeing him like that. I bought him alot of shit for christmas. He got an engraved money clip,2 pairs of diamond earings, a silver bracelet,a hoodie, boxers, a belt, cologne, hypnotiqe,shot glasses, and animal crackers. I spent like 200 on him alone. I didnt get shit for christmas. not that i really care.
Ive finally realized that Im done trying to be freinds with people who dont try back. Its not worth it because if they really wanted to be my freind then they would call, comeover, or actually try to see me.
I didnt even get a christmas call from any of my "freinds", and everyone who I got something and they didnt call me or attempt to see me on christmas I returned it and bought myself something. Its liek no one really cares and frankly im done caring that they dont care. some people are even too busy to have a 10 minute phone conversation. oh well their loss.
Nick and I are having problems right now. Im just so irritated that hes gone so much and he doesnt get how bad this all is hurting me. oh and not that anyone cares hes actually recovered and returned to how how he used to be in some sence.
THe accident really did change him. He doesnt enjoy getting into trouble, and he actually stays away from it. But I still cant help resent him for all the pain he has put me through. I dont think resent is a good word...cant stand him thats good. Just the sound of his voice makes me mad. And I cant help it because he hurt me way too much and i just keep getting dissapointed and let down over and over again by him. all the broken promises, leaving me for months on end, and i feel like im not and never have been enough for him. if he feels he needs to keep doing these things then leving me, obviously im not enough. And there is nothing I can say to change it because its not like he listens to me. Hes so afraid of me leaving him, well if it keeps up like the past 14 months ive been with him then i have no choice. Im not gonna sacrafice my happiness for someone who doesnt give a damn enough to stay out of trouble for me. Maybe things will be different when he is at home maybe they wont but depending on how things turn out is gonna determine wether or not I stay with him.
Hmmm.. Adam bought me the cutest purse for christmas, and he put these little cards in the purse and one said one free back massage and the other said anything i want. so i used up the back massage and now im still thinking about what I can use the anything i want card on. probibly another back massage. i bought him a belt buckle thats said the man with an arrow m pointing up and the legend with an arrow pointing down. ha, so true.
Charla is gonna keep her baby, although she doesnt seem to pleased about it. Its a boy and she is 6 1/2 months so she cant even get an abortion if she wanted to. we dont talk much anymore, shes always at chris's and well, chris hates me so i dont see her.
Chris keeps trying to get me and nick to break up but hes just ruining their freindship. he started talking shit about me to nick, what a dumb thing to do. he went around telling everyone i gave my friend troy head for z's...yeah the fuck right, who in their right mind would give head for drugs??um only crackheads and whores and im neither so nick automatically didnt believe it although he did ask me about it.
Ive got so much to say but i need to save it cuz i got to finish this notebook for nick, i have a whole notebook full of letters to him that i never got to send hima nd hes gonnna love it.
Ive finally realized that Im done trying to be freinds with people who dont try back. Its not worth it because if they really wanted to be my freind then they would call, comeover, or actually try to see me.
I didnt even get a christmas call from any of my "freinds", and everyone who I got something and they didnt call me or attempt to see me on christmas I returned it and bought myself something. Its liek no one really cares and frankly im done caring that they dont care. some people are even too busy to have a 10 minute phone conversation. oh well their loss.
Nick and I are having problems right now. Im just so irritated that hes gone so much and he doesnt get how bad this all is hurting me. oh and not that anyone cares hes actually recovered and returned to how how he used to be in some sence.
THe accident really did change him. He doesnt enjoy getting into trouble, and he actually stays away from it. But I still cant help resent him for all the pain he has put me through. I dont think resent is a good word...cant stand him thats good. Just the sound of his voice makes me mad. And I cant help it because he hurt me way too much and i just keep getting dissapointed and let down over and over again by him. all the broken promises, leaving me for months on end, and i feel like im not and never have been enough for him. if he feels he needs to keep doing these things then leving me, obviously im not enough. And there is nothing I can say to change it because its not like he listens to me. Hes so afraid of me leaving him, well if it keeps up like the past 14 months ive been with him then i have no choice. Im not gonna sacrafice my happiness for someone who doesnt give a damn enough to stay out of trouble for me. Maybe things will be different when he is at home maybe they wont but depending on how things turn out is gonna determine wether or not I stay with him.
Hmmm.. Adam bought me the cutest purse for christmas, and he put these little cards in the purse and one said one free back massage and the other said anything i want. so i used up the back massage and now im still thinking about what I can use the anything i want card on. probibly another back massage. i bought him a belt buckle thats said the man with an arrow m pointing up and the legend with an arrow pointing down. ha, so true.
Charla is gonna keep her baby, although she doesnt seem to pleased about it. Its a boy and she is 6 1/2 months so she cant even get an abortion if she wanted to. we dont talk much anymore, shes always at chris's and well, chris hates me so i dont see her.
Chris keeps trying to get me and nick to break up but hes just ruining their freindship. he started talking shit about me to nick, what a dumb thing to do. he went around telling everyone i gave my friend troy head for z's...yeah the fuck right, who in their right mind would give head for drugs??um only crackheads and whores and im neither so nick automatically didnt believe it although he did ask me about it.
Ive got so much to say but i need to save it cuz i got to finish this notebook for nick, i have a whole notebook full of letters to him that i never got to send hima nd hes gonnna love it.