(no subject)
I can't remember the last time I felt so gratified
now that I'm home
visiting SPHS at lunch time, familiar faces, and nostalgia.
Is something seriously wrong with my USC social scene?
Last night at dinner I realized that I was back in my element... not just my home town, but my self. Why hasn't USC brought out the best in me? Why does it shut me up... at least relative to South Pasadena?
Obviously, my high school friends are the people I've known for years upon years. We all shared a common experience... the same classes, the same homework, the same lunch time, the same hangouts, going to each other's houses and meeting each other's families... college is completely isolating. You live with some people but go to class with others and everyone seems to be in a separate corner of the world sometimes.
But there's something else I noticed at dinner. Just listening to the conversations we had, how lively and engaging they were, how stimulated I felt just by being in the presence of these people... I'm not sure it was just having missed them for so long. Sometimes I feel like the people I've met at USC can only make small talk. We don't talk about real things. Just getting drunk or listening to music. Or hooking up, which is a topic that doesn't involve me. Goddam relationships of others. And then when you think about it, can your college friends EVER be HALF as meaningful as your high school friends? We all share an experience, which is a HUGE component of friendship, but how much is the experience really worth? It's as if things were better when we had to trudge through a lot of bullshit. Now that we have the whole world at our fingertips... good classes, seemingly free food, alcohol, drugs, virtual parentlessness... things just don't feel meaningful to me.
I fucking love my high school friends. They really are the only people that make me truly come alive. I don't think I've ever been this sappy in a post before, but it's all pretty undeniable.
I hope to see more of you before I leave FRIDAY MORNING. ahhhhh!
now that I'm home
visiting SPHS at lunch time, familiar faces, and nostalgia.
Is something seriously wrong with my USC social scene?
Last night at dinner I realized that I was back in my element... not just my home town, but my self. Why hasn't USC brought out the best in me? Why does it shut me up... at least relative to South Pasadena?
Obviously, my high school friends are the people I've known for years upon years. We all shared a common experience... the same classes, the same homework, the same lunch time, the same hangouts, going to each other's houses and meeting each other's families... college is completely isolating. You live with some people but go to class with others and everyone seems to be in a separate corner of the world sometimes.
But there's something else I noticed at dinner. Just listening to the conversations we had, how lively and engaging they were, how stimulated I felt just by being in the presence of these people... I'm not sure it was just having missed them for so long. Sometimes I feel like the people I've met at USC can only make small talk. We don't talk about real things. Just getting drunk or listening to music. Or hooking up, which is a topic that doesn't involve me. Goddam relationships of others. And then when you think about it, can your college friends EVER be HALF as meaningful as your high school friends? We all share an experience, which is a HUGE component of friendship, but how much is the experience really worth? It's as if things were better when we had to trudge through a lot of bullshit. Now that we have the whole world at our fingertips... good classes, seemingly free food, alcohol, drugs, virtual parentlessness... things just don't feel meaningful to me.
I fucking love my high school friends. They really are the only people that make me truly come alive. I don't think I've ever been this sappy in a post before, but it's all pretty undeniable.
I hope to see more of you before I leave FRIDAY MORNING. ahhhhh!