(no subject)
My mom is so good to me. She called me mid-day absolutely bawling because she was worried about me, offering to drive up right now in spite of being sick of herself. She was so upset that her baby was sick, let alone sick on her birthday, that she really was ready to march up here and save me...
Fortunately I convinced her I'd be just fine and she got the crying out of her system. I cried, too, because I was upset to hear my mom so upset. (I am not the best go-to person for sad people because seeing people I love cry automatically makes me want to cry, too...) But we are okay now. The only thing not sitting well with me emotionally is the thought of being truly sick while far away in Denver or somewhere, unable to seek the comfort of my parents and torn by mom crying over her inability to come and be with me. I hope nothing bad happens when I move away. I don't want my mom and dad to be miserable with concern....
Tonight at least, though, my Mom was She kept demanding I call her with updates and I did so around 1030pm, noting that I felt extremely weak and sleepy and just wanted to go to bed but was afraid I'd wake up at 2 because I had lain in bed all day. She fretted over whether or not I could take sleep medicine, got upset that I didn't have any, eventually agreed it was probably fine that I didn't take any, and then informed she was not hanging up the phone until I got ready for bed.
I really just wanted to collapse, but she talked me into setting myself up very well. Under her guidance, I ate a banana, found an inoffensive cereal to set by my bed, poured a fresh cup of water and made sure that it, my Gatorade, and my back-up Coke were all present at my beside, assembled any medicines I might possibly need, made my bed, added another blanket, and then put on warm socks, legwarmers, and a sweater. I am pretty good about taking care of myself when sick and had most of those things laid out already, but I felt so exhausted that I probably would have crashed into bed without eating or keep snacks nearby and dressing until I was warm. I'm pretty sure I would have remained in the weird, bone-deep cold-fever of weakness and dehydration I had going on for a long time had she not refused to hang up until I did everything I was told. I was tired but docile: it felt amazingly good to be doctored.
Her last, most difficult mandate was that I force myself to stay awake at least another hour reading or watching TV or doing something else that was relaxing, allowing myself to transition toward sleep while also being up so I could take a fresh round of medicine, have a snack, and continue to re-hydrate myself. I really thought I was going to just fall asleep as soon as I snuggled under my blankets with my maazine, but I really love Wired. I managed to survive until my alarm clock informed me it was time to call home and feel so much better now as a result.
Although I am ridiculously over-layered, I am finally, finally, FINALLY warm. I hadn't realized how cold parts of me had been (mainly my feet and legs, my hands...) until they finally thawed. This relaxed me infinitely, as did getting lost in Wired. I was able to mindlessly munch on some organic honey-o's for a while without having my tummy yelp, and also I was able to sip on cold water and gatorade. This helped restore me a bit. Eventually after calling my mom I felt good enough even to tidy up my room some, take my nightly vitamin, dote of my poor, cold bettas. I am very concerned about them... hopefully keeping the lights on their tanks on tonite will keep them warm. The poor things were in the cold and dark nearly all day, and I didn't feed them 'til night...
Aw but they are fine. They are spoiled and eat too much anyway. Still, though... glad I scrubbed their tanks the other day, because now their immune systems can be strong.
Tomorrow I will hopefully wake up feeling better and as warm and tranquil as I do right now, like an empty jug being passively filled with the sunlight of other people's care. My housemates were so good to me... My entirely family called to check on me and tease me about up-coming birthday presents. And my mom in particular made such an effort... gods bless her. I am so touched I am nearly in tears. Too calm to cry, though... I am spent from fighting this all day.
Tomorrow I hope I feel well enough to do the shit-ton of homework I need to do, homework that is not particularly hard but that is important for my upcoming exams. I hope my COmm 531 group can get their acts together. I also hope I have enough life in my to clean and sanitize things I touched, just in case I had a nasty little virus instead of food poisoning. I don't want my good housemates to get sick.
Now it's back to cuddling in bed poring over Wired, and hopefully falling into a much-needed deep, healing sleep.
I am so loved. And so grateful.
Happy birthday, says the Universe.
Fortunately I convinced her I'd be just fine and she got the crying out of her system. I cried, too, because I was upset to hear my mom so upset. (I am not the best go-to person for sad people because seeing people I love cry automatically makes me want to cry, too...) But we are okay now. The only thing not sitting well with me emotionally is the thought of being truly sick while far away in Denver or somewhere, unable to seek the comfort of my parents and torn by mom crying over her inability to come and be with me. I hope nothing bad happens when I move away. I don't want my mom and dad to be miserable with concern....
Tonight at least, though, my Mom was She kept demanding I call her with updates and I did so around 1030pm, noting that I felt extremely weak and sleepy and just wanted to go to bed but was afraid I'd wake up at 2 because I had lain in bed all day. She fretted over whether or not I could take sleep medicine, got upset that I didn't have any, eventually agreed it was probably fine that I didn't take any, and then informed she was not hanging up the phone until I got ready for bed.
I really just wanted to collapse, but she talked me into setting myself up very well. Under her guidance, I ate a banana, found an inoffensive cereal to set by my bed, poured a fresh cup of water and made sure that it, my Gatorade, and my back-up Coke were all present at my beside, assembled any medicines I might possibly need, made my bed, added another blanket, and then put on warm socks, legwarmers, and a sweater. I am pretty good about taking care of myself when sick and had most of those things laid out already, but I felt so exhausted that I probably would have crashed into bed without eating or keep snacks nearby and dressing until I was warm. I'm pretty sure I would have remained in the weird, bone-deep cold-fever of weakness and dehydration I had going on for a long time had she not refused to hang up until I did everything I was told. I was tired but docile: it felt amazingly good to be doctored.
Her last, most difficult mandate was that I force myself to stay awake at least another hour reading or watching TV or doing something else that was relaxing, allowing myself to transition toward sleep while also being up so I could take a fresh round of medicine, have a snack, and continue to re-hydrate myself. I really thought I was going to just fall asleep as soon as I snuggled under my blankets with my maazine, but I really love Wired. I managed to survive until my alarm clock informed me it was time to call home and feel so much better now as a result.
Although I am ridiculously over-layered, I am finally, finally, FINALLY warm. I hadn't realized how cold parts of me had been (mainly my feet and legs, my hands...) until they finally thawed. This relaxed me infinitely, as did getting lost in Wired. I was able to mindlessly munch on some organic honey-o's for a while without having my tummy yelp, and also I was able to sip on cold water and gatorade. This helped restore me a bit. Eventually after calling my mom I felt good enough even to tidy up my room some, take my nightly vitamin, dote of my poor, cold bettas. I am very concerned about them... hopefully keeping the lights on their tanks on tonite will keep them warm. The poor things were in the cold and dark nearly all day, and I didn't feed them 'til night...
Aw but they are fine. They are spoiled and eat too much anyway. Still, though... glad I scrubbed their tanks the other day, because now their immune systems can be strong.
Tomorrow I will hopefully wake up feeling better and as warm and tranquil as I do right now, like an empty jug being passively filled with the sunlight of other people's care. My housemates were so good to me... My entirely family called to check on me and tease me about up-coming birthday presents. And my mom in particular made such an effort... gods bless her. I am so touched I am nearly in tears. Too calm to cry, though... I am spent from fighting this all day.
Tomorrow I hope I feel well enough to do the shit-ton of homework I need to do, homework that is not particularly hard but that is important for my upcoming exams. I hope my COmm 531 group can get their acts together. I also hope I have enough life in my to clean and sanitize things I touched, just in case I had a nasty little virus instead of food poisoning. I don't want my good housemates to get sick.
Now it's back to cuddling in bed poring over Wired, and hopefully falling into a much-needed deep, healing sleep.
I am so loved. And so grateful.
Happy birthday, says the Universe.