Oct 18, 2006 17:45
Last night I sat on the cold stones of the labyrinth and waited. I had not moved since randomly sitting down where the PSA-ers had been, and in their absence I had done nothing but close my eyes and kneed my fingers in the sand. The Earth, remembering the morning's rain, had slowly begun to leach the heat from my body, and I shivered. I opened my eyes and intended to walk.
I didn't walk, though. I stared.
I was not sitting at the center of the labyrinth. I was not sitting at the edge or beginning. Rather, I was sitting on a random track three rings in toward the middle of the pattern, facing a direction that did not tell me if walking forward would unwind or complete it. "If I go this way," I mused aloud, "Will I finish what I started or undo all that I have done?"
The unbroken ring I sat on curved away into the darkness.
It occurred to me then that my position in the labyrinth directly echoed the position of my heart. The path ahead of me was wildly unclear, and I did not know if I was building or breaking, and I knew I had been on the path for some time, but I did not know how much longer I needed. I did not even know if I was drawing toward my mystery destination or away from it.
I knew that the path behind me had been winding and prone to doubling-bac. I assumed that the path ahead woul, too. But my personal track was a curve unbroken, disappearing into soft shadows just out of sight.
A simple prayer surfaced in my heart. "Cernunnos, Lord, show me the way." Repeating this over and over in a mantra, I slowly stood as though intending to walk, but I didn't. I did not seek omens in following the track to see whether or not it unwound. I took one step, two, three steps out of the labyrinth, trusting Cernunnos more than any superstitions walking the labyrinth would breed. I didn't really want to know where it ended.
Smiling in the dark, I decided to risk it.
Where will Cernunnos guide me next?
choices,
cernunnos,
spirituality