(no subject)
i can't do this anymore. i do things and forget to finish them. i drive and i forget where i am going. i forget things people tell me. i forget things i tell other people. i have to dance and pretend (for the most part) that i am happy. but i'm not. i'm the farthest from it that i've been in quite some time. yesterday i almost started crying in the bathroom and last night in the shower too. i can't handle this anymore. what happened to the strong kid that i used to be? now i am nothing but pathetic and weak. i make myself sick. i have spent the last three days wanting to throw up everytime i am alone. the night time is the worst. wrapped up in my sheets and my insecurities, i lie there and wonder. i wonder what you are thinking. and i wonder if i am ever a part of your thoughts anymore. at all. and the scariest things for me is the possibility that i may not be.