Dying To Be Alive...
The doctors have taken Agnes off the respirator. There's nothing more they can do. Now it is only a matter of time. I am dreading to get that phone call. I keep thinking to myself, "well, she's hanging on" and I'm hoping so much for her to miraculously recover and be her old self when I come home in two weeks. Why is it when friends and relatives die we wish they'd stay? I have to believe that this is her time, and that God has led her a guided and fulfilled life.
I know back at home we'll be sharing our memories of her, like we did when my Poppy and Nanny died. I just wish I could be there NOW to share those stories and be with my family, instead of stuck in this stupid office assisting clients and typing up documents. Blah.
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I have to pick Ben up after work so we can go to church for Ash Wednesday. We both have solos with the choir tonight. God and Lent won't be my only purpose for singing my heart out tonight. It'll be my little tribute to Agnes, hopefully before she goes up.
I'm not sure yet what I'm going to be giving up for lent. I gave up cussing one year, and I remember that it made me notice how much everyone else around me swore. I certainly refuse to give up coffee or I'll be the grumpiest co-worker ever. Maybe I'll give up fast food...that'll help me with the losing weight thing. Or at least fried foods, something like that. I'll figure it out by tonight.
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I'm so tired. I went to bed early last night too. I'm a walking commercial for one of those temperpedic mattresses, so I can sleep through the night and feel refreshed instead of sleepy all day. I've always wanted to get one of those, they look so awesome. Someday.
Enough rambling, I have to update myself on everyone else's lives now.