(no subject)
its hilarious how fucking pathetic i am.
i want to hurt. i want to feel the pain. i want to know that this is all real. and not some nighmare im dreaming. i want to feel the blade of the knife rip into my skin. i want to watch the blood drip to the floor. i want to feel that sharp sting. i crave it. i urge for it. why does it have to be like this? whats wrong with me? why doesnt anyone know? why arent i fucking happier?? my friends all love me. and i love them. my family loves me. and i love them. i have a wonderful boyfriend whom i adore. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?! i need a nice good hard slap, or, a knife driven into my vain.
i want to hurt. i want to feel the pain. i want to know that this is all real. and not some nighmare im dreaming. i want to feel the blade of the knife rip into my skin. i want to watch the blood drip to the floor. i want to feel that sharp sting. i crave it. i urge for it. why does it have to be like this? whats wrong with me? why doesnt anyone know? why arent i fucking happier?? my friends all love me. and i love them. my family loves me. and i love them. i have a wonderful boyfriend whom i adore. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?! i need a nice good hard slap, or, a knife driven into my vain.