My life is shit
Mostly because of my six year old boy child. He has become the horror in my life. I've always had bad relationships with men, but this one is becoming the one that beats them all. He throws fits when he doesn't get his way. He starts fights and hits his brother and sister all the time, and of course they fight back. He gets into and tears up my things. He's has notes from school almost every day about his behavior...mostly he kicks and trips other kids. He won't do his homework or study his reading. He is doing so bad in reading that I am afraid he won't pass the first grade. I'm so busy dealing with his behavior that I can barely get in any studying time with him.
I created a behavior chart for all three of them. They get a smiley face sticker for doing something good and an X for doing something bad. The sticker give them point and the Xes take away points. When they get 20 points they get a prize. (Actually, I just give my daughter cash. 14 year olds don't seem to be interested in a set of army men for some reason, hehe.) I have a drawer full of prizes for them. But does the six year old give a shit? Nope.
I feel like a total failure as a mother. I know I'm doing things the wrong way but I can't quite put my finger on what they are. One thing I have to do is get them into a daycare. Right now they stay with my sister and she only keeps them when I am at work. If they were in daycare I could leave them there for an hour more sometimes and have a little bit of time for myself. Right now it's just work, kids, work, kids, work, kids...never ending. The boys go to their dad's every other weekend, but it doesn't seem like enough. Besides, when they aren't here the teenager usually still is. I am rarely home by myself.
My depression is a factor in it all. I get frustrated and upset more easily than I would if I wasn't depressed. I had a handle on it for a while, but now I don't. It's weird how I go through phases. I'm trying natural stuff to help with that because I hate the side effects of anti-depressants (though Prozac did do wonders for me at one time, but then it stopped working). I'm reading a book called The Mood Cure. A friend of mine swears by it. It's boring though and I'm having a hard time getting through it. I'd rather be reading J. D. Robb.
I created a behavior chart for all three of them. They get a smiley face sticker for doing something good and an X for doing something bad. The sticker give them point and the Xes take away points. When they get 20 points they get a prize. (Actually, I just give my daughter cash. 14 year olds don't seem to be interested in a set of army men for some reason, hehe.) I have a drawer full of prizes for them. But does the six year old give a shit? Nope.
I feel like a total failure as a mother. I know I'm doing things the wrong way but I can't quite put my finger on what they are. One thing I have to do is get them into a daycare. Right now they stay with my sister and she only keeps them when I am at work. If they were in daycare I could leave them there for an hour more sometimes and have a little bit of time for myself. Right now it's just work, kids, work, kids, work, kids...never ending. The boys go to their dad's every other weekend, but it doesn't seem like enough. Besides, when they aren't here the teenager usually still is. I am rarely home by myself.
My depression is a factor in it all. I get frustrated and upset more easily than I would if I wasn't depressed. I had a handle on it for a while, but now I don't. It's weird how I go through phases. I'm trying natural stuff to help with that because I hate the side effects of anti-depressants (though Prozac did do wonders for me at one time, but then it stopped working). I'm reading a book called The Mood Cure. A friend of mine swears by it. It's boring though and I'm having a hard time getting through it. I'd rather be reading J. D. Robb.