Current state of affairs...
We sort of talked about everything on Wednesday (11/2/11). Well, he talked, and I had nothing else to add. He calmed all of my fears with a beautiful reassuring speech. And I know he means it, because I’ve known him long enough to be able to tell when he is joking around and when he’s dead serious. He told me we could take everything as slow as I am comfortable with, regardless of how long it takes for me to trust him. Hell, he’s even told me that his future plans involve me living in his commune that he plans on creating. (As one of his kept women. And I’m perfectly okay with that. A polyandrous relationship would give both of us what we need. I would get the emotional intimacy I want and he could still get the physical intimacy he wants.
I think being his pet would work out well since I sometimes feel like life would be easier if someone else just told me exactly what to do. But giving up that control takes trust. He said he hopes that one day he can earn my trust. I don’t know why, but that almost made me want to cry, since I want to give him my trust but am scared.
I am actually more scared when I think about receiving pleasure than giving it. I chalk that up to my body image issues.
That's about all for now.
I think being his pet would work out well since I sometimes feel like life would be easier if someone else just told me exactly what to do. But giving up that control takes trust. He said he hopes that one day he can earn my trust. I don’t know why, but that almost made me want to cry, since I want to give him my trust but am scared.
I am actually more scared when I think about receiving pleasure than giving it. I chalk that up to my body image issues.
That's about all for now.