Saturday
I found out last night, that my mom is pretty damn awesome. I vented, and let out a lot of things and feelings and just exploded onto her with what has happened this year - and it's a lot. And, she took things extremely well.
I also learned why I haven't been the best actress. I'm better at observing life rather than living it. If you ask me what descicions I should make, nine times out of ten, I'll tell you the wrong one. That's another thing that's so damn frustrating, especially being a woman. We just think too damn much. Making a difficult decision for me takes a lot of time! I think so much, and I evaluate every single possibility I believe there to be, but in the end, it's not half as big as I made it up to be, or it is, and it's a situaiton that came so far out of the blue that I didn't know where it came from.
So, the best way to live life is in the moment, and if you make a wrong decision, you vent for a few hours, or a day or two, and as long as it doesn't kill you, you move on, learn from it. See what you did, and then figure out how to make a better decision for the next time something like that occurs.
I learned today, or this weekend, or probalby this year but it just hit me this weekend, that I want to help people. I love to watch people grow, and if I could help them with that growth, than even better. So, I'm going to go through the Woodring College of Education and major in theatre, and then I might minor in either psychology, french, and maybe spanish, but I don't know.
Anyway,
as to my little fit yesterday, a lot of shit has happened this year as far as I'm concerned with members of the opposite sex, and I have discovered something huge within myself, that I'm incredibly too embarrased to mention. I knew it was a problem, but I didn't know just how big of a problem it was. Let's just say that I now know how girls can turn into sluts, whores, prostitutes, and I thank God that I mainly reached all these problems now when I'm old enough to figure them out rather than have it be in jr. high because I definitely would have accelerated in a very fast downward motion.
Writing this, it really makes me think about the masks that we wear throughout life. I don't know whether or not I envy those who wear their emotions on their sleeves, or pity them. I know that I try to hide a lot of my emotions. I don't like to be openly angry or sad in front of people. There's an elite few and elite things that will tirgger me getting pissed or sad in front of people, but they do happen!
However, I just find life to be easier if you live happily, not try to, but actually live happily, and jsut constantly be looking for ways that you can learn. That way, the problems you do come across can't hurt you that much, because they make you better, and they won't hurt for long, because you're happy. Loook forward to the good things, learn from the bad. That's the key to life right there people, you can call me if you want more info and advice. After all, I love giving it, and I'm better at giving it, than learning it!
I also learned why I haven't been the best actress. I'm better at observing life rather than living it. If you ask me what descicions I should make, nine times out of ten, I'll tell you the wrong one. That's another thing that's so damn frustrating, especially being a woman. We just think too damn much. Making a difficult decision for me takes a lot of time! I think so much, and I evaluate every single possibility I believe there to be, but in the end, it's not half as big as I made it up to be, or it is, and it's a situaiton that came so far out of the blue that I didn't know where it came from.
So, the best way to live life is in the moment, and if you make a wrong decision, you vent for a few hours, or a day or two, and as long as it doesn't kill you, you move on, learn from it. See what you did, and then figure out how to make a better decision for the next time something like that occurs.
I learned today, or this weekend, or probalby this year but it just hit me this weekend, that I want to help people. I love to watch people grow, and if I could help them with that growth, than even better. So, I'm going to go through the Woodring College of Education and major in theatre, and then I might minor in either psychology, french, and maybe spanish, but I don't know.
Anyway,
as to my little fit yesterday, a lot of shit has happened this year as far as I'm concerned with members of the opposite sex, and I have discovered something huge within myself, that I'm incredibly too embarrased to mention. I knew it was a problem, but I didn't know just how big of a problem it was. Let's just say that I now know how girls can turn into sluts, whores, prostitutes, and I thank God that I mainly reached all these problems now when I'm old enough to figure them out rather than have it be in jr. high because I definitely would have accelerated in a very fast downward motion.
Writing this, it really makes me think about the masks that we wear throughout life. I don't know whether or not I envy those who wear their emotions on their sleeves, or pity them. I know that I try to hide a lot of my emotions. I don't like to be openly angry or sad in front of people. There's an elite few and elite things that will tirgger me getting pissed or sad in front of people, but they do happen!
However, I just find life to be easier if you live happily, not try to, but actually live happily, and jsut constantly be looking for ways that you can learn. That way, the problems you do come across can't hurt you that much, because they make you better, and they won't hurt for long, because you're happy. Loook forward to the good things, learn from the bad. That's the key to life right there people, you can call me if you want more info and advice. After all, I love giving it, and I'm better at giving it, than learning it!