(no subject)

[singindisaster6]

My body’s aching
This happiness I’m faking
It’s killing me inside
But still I force the pride

My mind is weak
I’m at my feet
I’m going insane
Having myself to blame

This guilt I swallow
Despising the thought of tomorrow
My mind is telling me that I don’t care
But my heart tells me something’s there

I hate my stupid mistakes
My daily dose of guilt intake
The stupid smiles I have to fake
The lies that I’m forced to make

It seems like time is held to a stop
Pushing me to accept things that I’m not
And this whole time you seem so at ease
Is it my mind you’re trying to tease?

Sometimes I think why I waste my time
Trying to make you mine
It looks like you don’t care
Somehow you don’t want me there

I can’t seem to move on
Damn these feelings are so strong
And don’t get me wrong
But for some reason I thought we’d last long

And it hurts like hell to have known
There was something there that could’ve grown
I know that it’s all my fault
The blood in my veins freezes to a hault

I don’t know how to express this in words
I know my thoughts you’ve already heard
It’s so much worse in my mind
Soaked in flaws that I’m not trying to find

Gradually time bleeds
And I resist the need
To have you by my side
I’m being carried away by the tide

Blades and crimson
Flash in my head
I feel so desperate
As I climb into bed

All alone my body shakes
Silently my lonely heart aches
If I should die before I awake
I pray the lord my soul to take

Resisting the urge
To violently purge
Myself and my skin
Temptation burns within

I mustn’t give in
No I mustn’t give in
I want this to end
But my heart I need to mend

He’s so beautiful
It hurts inside
Days turn into night
These words never come out right

He’s so beautiful
It hurts inside
Damn he’s so beautiful