And she just can't seem to stay still
I am going to college. The shock has yet to settle. After this trip, I've decided that the college I will be attending will be Lewis & Clark College in Portland. It's official.
Now that I actually have a physical picture of the college I will be at, the realization is beginning to dawn on me. It's weird, because it didn't seem that real..... till now. It was all paperwork and I didn't even know if I would get into the schools. But now it is done.
I'm kind of in awe of myself.... college always seemed so far away. Hell, my sweet sixteen always seemed miles away, till the night before my birthday and I realized that time doesn't slow down for anything. Going back even further, I remember the night before my thirteenth birthday, I went down to my mom's room and cried because I did not want to grow up. I was scared of what would happen once I was "officially" a teenager. Where did all that time go? I was afraid I would lose my inner child. But no, it's been 4 years since then and I still have my Little Mermaid bed sheets. Shall I be taking them to my dorm? We'll see....
Every once and a while I seem to have one of these pseudo- epiphanic moments where I seem to fall back down to the simple fact of life: it doesn't stop. My next birthday is going to be my 18th.....wtf? It's all so surreal. Heck, I can't even imagine myself as an 18 year old. There are so many things I thought I would have experienced before my 18th birthday.... and there are so many things I had no idea I would experience...and I did....before my 18th birthday. Granted, I still have about 6 months before my birthday, so I still got time to do all those things I planned to do.
For the most part, I am ready to get out of this city. I have lived here my entire life, and the farthest I have moved is up the stairs when I first got my own room. Though a part of me doesn't want to leave my parents and my cats and my friends, I know I won't be able to grow up unless I leave them behind and make it up this hill on my own. Though I am not going as far away for college as some others I know, this is the biggest step I have taken alone. And I don't even know what I'm looking for. But this desire to get out has suddenly fired up within me and I'm just itching to start packing and get supplies and load up the car and just go. And this time, it isn't running away from something. It's running towards something, and that the difference that makes me smile.
And then there is the part of me that wants to stay.....
That part of me is the same that wonders where all this time went.
You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove
You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away?
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way
I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away?
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way
Now that I actually have a physical picture of the college I will be at, the realization is beginning to dawn on me. It's weird, because it didn't seem that real..... till now. It was all paperwork and I didn't even know if I would get into the schools. But now it is done.
I'm kind of in awe of myself.... college always seemed so far away. Hell, my sweet sixteen always seemed miles away, till the night before my birthday and I realized that time doesn't slow down for anything. Going back even further, I remember the night before my thirteenth birthday, I went down to my mom's room and cried because I did not want to grow up. I was scared of what would happen once I was "officially" a teenager. Where did all that time go? I was afraid I would lose my inner child. But no, it's been 4 years since then and I still have my Little Mermaid bed sheets. Shall I be taking them to my dorm? We'll see....
Every once and a while I seem to have one of these pseudo- epiphanic moments where I seem to fall back down to the simple fact of life: it doesn't stop. My next birthday is going to be my 18th.....wtf? It's all so surreal. Heck, I can't even imagine myself as an 18 year old. There are so many things I thought I would have experienced before my 18th birthday.... and there are so many things I had no idea I would experience...and I did....before my 18th birthday. Granted, I still have about 6 months before my birthday, so I still got time to do all those things I planned to do.
For the most part, I am ready to get out of this city. I have lived here my entire life, and the farthest I have moved is up the stairs when I first got my own room. Though a part of me doesn't want to leave my parents and my cats and my friends, I know I won't be able to grow up unless I leave them behind and make it up this hill on my own. Though I am not going as far away for college as some others I know, this is the biggest step I have taken alone. And I don't even know what I'm looking for. But this desire to get out has suddenly fired up within me and I'm just itching to start packing and get supplies and load up the car and just go. And this time, it isn't running away from something. It's running towards something, and that the difference that makes me smile.
And then there is the part of me that wants to stay.....
That part of me is the same that wonders where all this time went.
You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove
You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away?
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way
I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away?
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way