(no subject)
So I havent been here in a while. I havent had much bitching to do! Weird. So lifes great. I couldnt be happier most days.
I dont really know why, I have a few guesses. But this year has continued to go smoothly and good. Ive rid some negative out of my life, I have great friends, I feel productive with music, Brianna is a fun little sister, I have more fun with Caitlyn than I do anyone else (well, except Trisha. Shes the best thing that could have ever happened to me), I find neat things to write about for work, great music has filled my ears the past year, I can get out of Flint anytime I want to. Ive done alot of wrong in my life, Ive fucked a lot of things up, Ive missed a lot of signs, Ive missed ALOT period, but I feel like Im finally getting it right. I feel like Ive found the right path and Im walking it finally. Its such a liberating feeling.
I dont think Ive been this happy since I was literally 10 years old. When I was great at gymnastics, gas was cheap, I liked school. Then when I went to middle school, in 6th grade I struggled silently being gay, I had a hard time finding the right friends. in 7th grade I was ok. I made a diverse group of friends - from the "cool" people, to the "underdogs," I fit in with a lot of people. But that was the year my gymnastics career took a turn when I started gettng sick. I did learn French when I was 12 as well in 7th grade. That was a fun summer hobby for me. 8th grade was nasty. I came out that year. at 13 years old. My grandma also died that year and mom was separated. Freshman year was ok too. People said their shit, but I didnt take it and I made friends that way too. I was dating BJ. 15, I was eh. having some family crap. but I met mike shortly before I turned 16. We dated. Young love. Of course didnt last. 17, I was nuts. I was empty. I missed Mike. 18 - eh. I tried. I did. 19 was kinda cool. mike and i were close then again. laura and i were inseparable. i dated drunk ass Jason tho. mistake. i ended up cheating on him the last few weeks we were together with Mike and Brent. Called it off, hes a loser. Flat up. 20. Well that had some ups and downs. Mike and Laura were pretty mcuh all I hung out with. Wed go to karaoke. Laura was ALWAYS over. Mike would come over alot too and a few times even spent the night with me. That was nice. And Id go over his house alot. Sometimes at 3 in the morning! Sometimes even 5! hahaha. I hung out with Brett (another mistake. BIG time.). But it was fun. I did alot. I met alot of people. 21 - it all kinda just went plop. Summer 2007 was the worst year ever. Laura started dating Micah, great guy - love him! but she has a problem (and ironically he sees it now cuz theyre fighting over it alot). she can cut her friends out for a while, and be up his ass. One time micah thought i was mad at him, but i was mad at her and I told her that she has her head up his ass. She nor he didnt like that. I was having a rough time. Alot of changes. I couldnt stand Brett Whalen's lying backstabbing slut drug induced ways. He exaggerates things. He lies constantly and you cant tell him you know cuz he'll make up some story or he'll backfire and bitch and talk shit about you. He can dish it but he cant take it. Well, you get what you give. Its bretts way or the highway. Its all about Brett. hes always right. Hes a bitch. A flat up bitch. Whore. How can you go behind a dumpster and get fucked by several guys? How can you have sex with so many people! And he cant ever have sex if hes not fucked up. Rather it be on some drug or from poppers. Never. HE is the epitamy of why gay guys have the stereotypes they do. He thinks he knows my life and what I do. We havent talked in months. He has NO idea what I do everyday, how my life is going. He likes to run his mouth and call me names and cut me down, well guess what mother fucker. Id rather be alllll the shit you say than to live the dirty low-life lifestyle you lead. and youre a teacher of fifth graders! Im just thankful I didnt get anything from him. I wasnt being a convenience any longer. I did meet some great people from him tho. Phil is the coolest old man! haha. I have some fun conversation with him. And Bills pretty cool too. John and George are cool but I havent talked to them since I quit going bowling. And Brett will tell all his friends not to say any of the bad stuff about him or talka bout it in front of them because he wants to impress people hes interested in. Dude fuck that. Have some respect for other people and yourself. Youre not always right. you have NO room to criticize ANYONE. by FAR. and Mike kinda drifted late summer too. But it didnt beat me up like before. He's come and gone a few times you kinda get used to it. I mean yes it took some effort to not be upset, but oh well. So yeah. Laura. She finally quit that and broke down and was upset cuz we werent talking. So we fixed it. I went to Ohio day after Xmas, and that just changed my life.
It changed my life. and since then, Ive learned alot about myself. I know who I am. I just smile. Alot. Positivity changes everything. It really does. Im that much stronger. Im that much wiser. I feel finally free.
And thats a good feeling.
I dont really know why, I have a few guesses. But this year has continued to go smoothly and good. Ive rid some negative out of my life, I have great friends, I feel productive with music, Brianna is a fun little sister, I have more fun with Caitlyn than I do anyone else (well, except Trisha. Shes the best thing that could have ever happened to me), I find neat things to write about for work, great music has filled my ears the past year, I can get out of Flint anytime I want to. Ive done alot of wrong in my life, Ive fucked a lot of things up, Ive missed a lot of signs, Ive missed ALOT period, but I feel like Im finally getting it right. I feel like Ive found the right path and Im walking it finally. Its such a liberating feeling.
I dont think Ive been this happy since I was literally 10 years old. When I was great at gymnastics, gas was cheap, I liked school. Then when I went to middle school, in 6th grade I struggled silently being gay, I had a hard time finding the right friends. in 7th grade I was ok. I made a diverse group of friends - from the "cool" people, to the "underdogs," I fit in with a lot of people. But that was the year my gymnastics career took a turn when I started gettng sick. I did learn French when I was 12 as well in 7th grade. That was a fun summer hobby for me. 8th grade was nasty. I came out that year. at 13 years old. My grandma also died that year and mom was separated. Freshman year was ok too. People said their shit, but I didnt take it and I made friends that way too. I was dating BJ. 15, I was eh. having some family crap. but I met mike shortly before I turned 16. We dated. Young love. Of course didnt last. 17, I was nuts. I was empty. I missed Mike. 18 - eh. I tried. I did. 19 was kinda cool. mike and i were close then again. laura and i were inseparable. i dated drunk ass Jason tho. mistake. i ended up cheating on him the last few weeks we were together with Mike and Brent. Called it off, hes a loser. Flat up. 20. Well that had some ups and downs. Mike and Laura were pretty mcuh all I hung out with. Wed go to karaoke. Laura was ALWAYS over. Mike would come over alot too and a few times even spent the night with me. That was nice. And Id go over his house alot. Sometimes at 3 in the morning! Sometimes even 5! hahaha. I hung out with Brett (another mistake. BIG time.). But it was fun. I did alot. I met alot of people. 21 - it all kinda just went plop. Summer 2007 was the worst year ever. Laura started dating Micah, great guy - love him! but she has a problem (and ironically he sees it now cuz theyre fighting over it alot). she can cut her friends out for a while, and be up his ass. One time micah thought i was mad at him, but i was mad at her and I told her that she has her head up his ass. She nor he didnt like that. I was having a rough time. Alot of changes. I couldnt stand Brett Whalen's lying backstabbing slut drug induced ways. He exaggerates things. He lies constantly and you cant tell him you know cuz he'll make up some story or he'll backfire and bitch and talk shit about you. He can dish it but he cant take it. Well, you get what you give. Its bretts way or the highway. Its all about Brett. hes always right. Hes a bitch. A flat up bitch. Whore. How can you go behind a dumpster and get fucked by several guys? How can you have sex with so many people! And he cant ever have sex if hes not fucked up. Rather it be on some drug or from poppers. Never. HE is the epitamy of why gay guys have the stereotypes they do. He thinks he knows my life and what I do. We havent talked in months. He has NO idea what I do everyday, how my life is going. He likes to run his mouth and call me names and cut me down, well guess what mother fucker. Id rather be alllll the shit you say than to live the dirty low-life lifestyle you lead. and youre a teacher of fifth graders! Im just thankful I didnt get anything from him. I wasnt being a convenience any longer. I did meet some great people from him tho. Phil is the coolest old man! haha. I have some fun conversation with him. And Bills pretty cool too. John and George are cool but I havent talked to them since I quit going bowling. And Brett will tell all his friends not to say any of the bad stuff about him or talka bout it in front of them because he wants to impress people hes interested in. Dude fuck that. Have some respect for other people and yourself. Youre not always right. you have NO room to criticize ANYONE. by FAR. and Mike kinda drifted late summer too. But it didnt beat me up like before. He's come and gone a few times you kinda get used to it. I mean yes it took some effort to not be upset, but oh well. So yeah. Laura. She finally quit that and broke down and was upset cuz we werent talking. So we fixed it. I went to Ohio day after Xmas, and that just changed my life.
It changed my life. and since then, Ive learned alot about myself. I know who I am. I just smile. Alot. Positivity changes everything. It really does. Im that much stronger. Im that much wiser. I feel finally free.
And thats a good feeling.