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STEAMPUNK-ERNATURAL SEASON FINALE.
We open on the remaining adventurers - gunslinger Malcom Dean Forge (who is slowly turning into a zombie), MIB Agents Denver J Johnson and the increasingly pregnant (and daemon-infested, we presume) Evelyn Joanna Tallow, alcholic preacher Rudepar Saint and soldier-boy Albus something-or-other, along with archaeologist Edgar Haskins and his paramour, the delectable and deadly Sophie - pulling themselves together after the bat guano drama that dominated last week's episode. Rudepar, with a little persuasion that we'd be far more use in the final battle than he would, patched up those who'd suffered during said drama, and the party took a short break to pull themselves together, figuring that they were miles behind the Lost Angels anyway and the apocalypse hadn't happened yet, so what was an extra 30 minutes if it meant they might actually be able to do something when it came to stopping it?
Pressing onwards, then, we found ourselves in a cave full of strange glowing fungus, which Evie identified as unlike anything on the surface world. Malcom decided to investigate the fungus, and found that it shivered and purred when touched, which was a little unnerving to say the least. The other main advantage of the growth was that it made the tracks of the Lost Angels real easy to spot: it was clear to all that there were now only around 6, where there had been nearer 20. Unfortunately the demon-thing was still definitely one of those six.
Pressing on, Evie and Denver spotted what looked like a ball of snakes moving up ahead... as if that wasn't strange enough, it seemed they were only half corporeal. Recognising a Manitou when they saw one, they called the party to a halt (and wisely made sure no one else looked, because damn. Those things are creepy) and waited for it to pass on. Which it did, luckily without spotting any of us.
On again. The colour of the fungus changed, from purple and green to virulent orange. The tracks also vanished. Malcom stepped out onto the new fungus... and found that when he lifted his feet it exploded, showering those close to him with acid which stung but, luckily, did little damage. The party legged it across the ornage fungus as quickly as they could, with - remarkably, considering Evie's gammy leg - continued success. It seemed our luck was turning after the hellish times they'd endured thus far...
We then came to a river, leading into a lake. It seemed crystal clear and oddly beautiful, given the horrors we expected to encounter this close to the Deadlands... aside from the lack of life in it, really. As often happens with these guys, progress was derailled as 'friendly debate' (cough cough) broke out between the soldier, the preacher and Denver. Evie took the opportunity, while they were 'talking', to take samples of the water for analysis back at MIB HQ. Malcom - testing its effect on his wound, hoping we'd discovered a magic fountain - found that it neutralised the acid, leading the more scientific members of the team to conclude that there wasn't anything especially sinister about it beyond being mildly alkali, probably thanks to filtering through the rocks.
Malcom and Albus pressed on, leaving Evie, Denver and Rudepar at the lakeside. They found themselves on the edge of a clearing, and up ahead Malcom spotted several huts and eight strange creatures sat eating the brown fungus - eight foot tall hairless orangutans with no noses and strange, slit-like mouths. He relayed this message back to Albus, and tried to sneak around the village...
... but, as was the case with most of our sneaking this series, was spotted. As, shortly after, was Albus.
Rudepar hung back from the group as we moved on, communing with God as to whether leaving the path and making his own way through the wilds, missing the village entirely, was a good idea (God said No). Evie, Haskins, Sophie and Denver snuck far more successfully and lay in hiding nearby while Albus and Malcom were guided into the main hut and offered the fungus to eat. It rapidly became clear from the actions of the tribe that refusing was not an option: Malcom ate some and found that it was unpleasant but seemingly revitalising, while Albus used sleight-of-hand to avoid eating it.
While lurking on the edge of the village Evie had a vision of a portal crackling with electricity - the same sort of portal she'd seen back in California on her first mission with Shelby, a tear in space between this world and the Deadlands - and heard voices beckoning her toward it, saying they'd protect what was theirs (Sam?) and save the family legacy (... okay, definitely Sam). Rudepar also had a vision, this one a wave of evil rippling through the caverns and settling over Evie.
Evie seemed galvanised by her vision and turned to Denver, saying that Malcom and Albus had been kidnapped by presumably hostile creatures (a blatant lie, as their habits seemed merely primitive and tribal rather than sinister, and they radiated an aura of peacefulness) and it was their duty to press on without them...
... and then failed spectacularly in the sneaking department and was spotted, as was Haskins. Denver, taking her at her word, pressed on alone, while Sophie snuck into the camp itself. Evie and Haskins were also offered the fungus, and with their understanding of tribal cultures reasoned that this was a gesture of peace and that refusing would cause grave insult. Albus was also caught out, and forced to eat it - Malcom pointed out that at this point it was a case of eat or shoot their way out, and Evie and Haskins persuaded him that shooting was a really bad idea. They were joined at this juncture by Rudepar, who had come to deal with Evie and got caught by the moss-monkeys as we dubbed them. He was also treated to the delightful local cuisine...
... and at this point Haskins, Evie and Albus fell unconscious. The creatures seemed puzzled as to why Malcom and Rudepar hadn't, and tried to force more fungus on them. Malcom popped his claws and stabbed one of the creatures, which deflated like a popped balloon and the others of the tribe scarpered. Malcom followed them to check that they hadn't gone for help and came across a giant pit in which a blind spikey armadillo-ish thing snuffled around some disturbingly human-shaped bones; he concluded that the moss-monkeys had hoped to feed us to this thing and returned to the party.
With Evie lying prone, Rudepar seized the initiative, pinned her down and started praying over her, hoping to force the evil out... and it seemed to be working, as she woke up to the feeling of Sam squirming and flexing, and a strange burning sensation from the preacher's hand on her stomach, stuck observing a bizarre and unnerving contest of wills between her unborn child and the power of the Lord with her body as the battleground. At which she, understandably, started screaming and struggling, alerting Sophie (who had now come to Haskin's aid) and Malcom to the fact that Rudepar wasn't doing his usual Lay On Hands routine.
Sophie pulled her pistols and trained them on Rudepar, seeing a man she hated straggling the one member of the party she still gave a damn about (she and Evie having the whole female solidarity thing going on) and hearing Evie's now muffled screams of agony, between the burning and the feeling that something was trying to claw its way out of her. Malcom, likewise, saw from his perspective once he returned the preacher trying to kill his unborn nephew, and asked 'politely' (cough cough) for an explanation. Rudepar said that he'd sensed something evil in the child, and it had to be dealt with now... and Malcom, obviously knowing about the family curse and seeing Evie cringe not with pain but guilt at the words, stopped short of shooting the Preacher, but demanded that Evie be given the choice as to whether they continued or not. She, having had the vision, reluctantly decided to let them continue - because she didn't want the party turning on her, and if Sam wasn't evil then Rudepar's prayers wouldn't do anything, right? The praying continued for a while, but with apparently no further effects. Rudepar reluctantly relented, saying what he was facing was too strong for him to deal with with anything less than a full exorcism, which we really didn't have time for (it takes 8 hours); Evie agreed to submit to the ritual if she survived, but said we were running out of time to stop a far greater evil from coming through whatever the portal she'd seen was, and so we pressed on.
Rudepar took Evie aside as we moved onwards, and said in a hushed voice so the other party members wouldn't butt in that he wasn't going to lie, an exorcism would hurt. And hurt no one more than him, because the last one he'd done - Evie cut in with "I don't need to hear this, Father. Tell me it went well". An awkward conversation followed, with Rudepar lying through his teeth about the exorcism, saying it had all gone swimmingly when really it had misfired so badly that the subject died screaming in agony and he failed to save her soul or her life which drove him to his current alcoholism and Evie supporting all the lies despite knowing that isn't how these things work.
En route out of the village we came across the portal Evie had seen; Evie, understandably freaked out as the voices commanding her to bring the child through got louder, had to be forceably restrained by Malcom so as not to run off into the wilderness and then guided by Malcom and Rudepar until they'd gotten past the thing. Malcom was also slightly unnerved as, unlike everyone else who could sense that the thing was unholy, he felt only a warm glow and a sense of homecoming. It was very tempting for him to jump through the portal then and there, but he asked Evie (thinking she was the one in the know) what was on the other side, and predictably her answer wasn't very reassuring.
Finally we reached another chamber, this one darkened and devoid of fungus - fungus-repellent, infact, as Denver tried to improvise a torch made out of the glowy fungus and found that it shrivelled and retreated from the chamber entrance. On entering, the chamber was found to contain a large dais set in the middle (in a cinematically-appropriate single shaft of bright light) and several cave paintings. Haskins, Sophie and Rudepar investigated the dais, and found that an Injun medicine bag had been set on top of it. They also noticed the corpse of a man at the edge of the circle of light, apparently killed crawling towards and reaching for the bag. Bizarrely the corpse seemed fresh. Evie and Denver, on the other hand, studied the paintings, and found the end to the story of the shamans who'd stood up to the Raven Cult - one of them, Jordava, had cut out his own heart and buried it in the earth, while the others had been killed by Raven.
And that's when the Lost Angels stepped out of the shadows.
We found ourselves facing off against five Lost Angels with rifles, a huge brute of a man lurking in the back of the party and a weasely little fellow wearing a dog collar who seemed to be surrounded by an undulating swarm of flies, who those of us who'd been here since the beginning recognised from the initial announcement of the expedition, and from spotting him observing us getting on the train back in Denver. The weasely preacher ("... wait a minute, let's get things straight: there's only one preacher here" c&tm Rudepar) monologued for a bit about how he'd been trying to warn us off the trail but clearly we were too goddamned stupid to take the hint ("I prefer the term 'stubborn' myself" c&tm Evie / "Can we just shoot him now and not listen to this bullshit?" c&tm Malcom).
At this point you'd be forgiven for wondering where the demon had gotten to, which was something we were asking ourselves... Once false!Preacher had finished his rant the big guy turned his skin inside out and answered that question. The false!Preacher also drew his cloak of bugs around him, veiling himself in a 'miasma of evil'.
And then all hell broke lose. Again. But hey, it wouldn't be Deadlands if it didn't, right?
Amazingly, Evie was the first to react, popping shots at the demon with great accuracy but very little success. Albus and Denver took a shot each at the false!Preacher and had even less success, as the cloak of evil swallowed up the bullet harmlessly. False!Preacher threw some bones on the floor and from them rose up strange bloodied skeletal creatures which ignored Malcom (seeing him as one of their own) and seemed inordinantly fond of Albus but mostly failed to hit him. Malcom's attention went to the riflemen, as he dropped his hat for the first time since being bitten (revealling his now mostly zombified features), popped his claws and stared them down, yelling "There's more than one demon in this room, boys, and this one wants MEAT". They, understandably, wet themselves and scarpered, leaving us only the demon and the false!Preacher
Evie and Denver continued to shoot at the demon, and Evie succeeded in drawing first blood. Malcom took on the skeletons, and dropped one by tearing its head off, while Albus managed to graze one and missed with his other shots. Meanwhile, Haskins, Sophie and Rudepar made their way to the dais, unnoticed by the bad guys who were busy being distracted by those of us shooting at them. Rudepar retrieved the bag from the daias, and found it contained a beating human heart. Haskins and Sophie found that the corpse had a gash where its heart should be. Rudepar, fighting his hatred of Injuns, succeeded in slotting the heart into the wound, and the body of Jordava shuddered and convulsed.
Things took a turn for the worse as the false!Preacher started firing off bolts of unholy green energy, marking him out to those who knew about magic as a Black Magician of the highest order. Most whistled over the heads of our heroes, but then he got lucky and one sped towards Denver, spelling his doom... except that Haskins dived in the way with almost superhuman speed, taking the full impact. His mangled body fell to the floor, and Sophie let out a howl of rage and launched herself into the fray
A second ball of energy succeeded in hitting Albus, blowing his leg clean off. Evie was still fighting the demon, and got a few more excellent shots off before it hit her, tearing into her chest with its talons. She dropped to the floor, bleeding like a stuck pig and with her vision swimming, but fought against unconsciousness and fired off a few more shots as Denver moved into position to act as a human shield given his duty to protect her at all costs. Between her and Albus, who fanned his pistol desperately once he'd regained his senses after losing the leg, they succeeded in dropping the beast.
Malcom launched at the false!Preacher, claws out, slashing at him wildly and sending him stumbling. Once false!Preacher was on the ground he slit his throat and, with a feral yowl, drove the claws into his eyes to make sure the job was done. False!Preacher's horrible gurgling scream echoed through the cavern.
Jordava revived, finally, with Rudepar's help, thanked the party for ending the threat and preventing the Deadlands from spilling through into this reality. He healed their wounds (though he couldn't bring back Albus' leg, or revive Haskins) and said he'd guide them to the surface...
Malcom: "I ain't goin' back"
Malcom handed Evie the blessed pistol from New Harmony, the one he'd said was to go to Sammy -
Malcom: "When you see Jacob..."
Evie: "I'll tell him you said goodbye"
Malcom: "No. Tell Jacob I'll be back"
Evie: "You can tell him yourself when you catch up with us"
- and headed back to the portal, accompanied by Rudepar who wished to say a final goodbye of his own (Evie apologised, and said she hoped he'd understand but she wasn't going anywhere near that thing). Malcom stepped through and went to places unknown. Rudepar, Denver and Albus tended to Haskins' body - Sophie asked them to give it the nearest thing they could to a Christian burial, and Rudepar said he wouldn't bury it in this unclean ground but, so help him god, get it back to Denver for a proper service.
While the rest of the party were busy with Haskins Evie and Jordava were left alone.
Evie: "I'm not going to insult your wisdom by pretending you don't know what I'm about to ask"
Jordava: "Ask anyway"
Evie: "The child I'm carrying... Preacher reckons there's something wrong with it, says something bad got in."
Jordava: "He's right"
Evie: "... I feared as much. Is there anything I can do? Would the exorcism help, or...?"
Jordava: "You don't understand. This child... it's been between the worlds, and that changes a man. What it would do to a baby... I shudder to think. This child... could be the one to save the world from the Reckoners"
Evie: " - oh. When you put it like that, that's not so bad - "
Jordava: "Or the one to destroy it entirely. I cannot take that chance."
With a wave of his hand he sent Evie flying through the portal, where she landed at Malcom's feet. As he helped her up the tear closed behind them, and in the distance a horrible howl echoed across the Hunting Grounds... one which, if you listened closely, sounded like laughter.
Outside, Denver confronted Jordava about Evie's disappearance.
Jordava: "I weep for her fate, but not for what I did to that child. It could not be allowed to live"
Jordava held true to his word and lead the survivors to the surface. Denver wandered, we know not where, his duty failed. The others headed back to Cliffside where they were reuinted with Jacob and broke the bad news about his brother and lover. He responded by telling them that Malcom wasn't dead (Rudepar: "Jesus Christ, not this again... didn't we go through all that with Malcom?"). They headed back to Denver and were renowned as famous explorers.
Roll end credits
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