Graduate School Week One
I'm really freaking here.
Damn.
I'm in Boulder, in grad school, and I'm teaching. Me.
Langston Hughes writes about a dream deferred..."does it explode?" I have the opposite scenario- what happens to a dream realized? It's still a bit of a mind-screw, to be honest. I'm living far away from my family for the third time, and this time, I realize what I am missing- my grandma's smile when I walk in the door for Monday night dinner, midnight trips to Meijer with mom, a routine that requires fairly little and affords lots of spending power.
But now, here, in Colorado, I'm finding a new aspect of myself. I am smart- I am well-prepared intellectually for this endeavor (so far, knock wood). It's phenomenal that my summer experience at The Institute has provided me with information I can share with my department. Coming in as a pseudo-expert is awfully nice.
I am becoming much more of a homebody- I like being in my tiny little space, and without the bar or the Pugilist or my own expectations to dog me, I'm much more still (and a bit healthier- I drink water like a mofo here).
I still know relatively few people, and I don't have habits yet- kinda good. In the soup of not knowing, I am free to play, create, experiment with very little at stake.
So that's all Zen. The hard-core Over-the-Rhine in me says this is a good place to get work done. I think I can handle being here to do what I have to do. It helps that my department is phenomenal, so far. I have wonderful professors, and my cohort is cool if not yet cohesive. My students, though...
So far, I give myself a C minus in teaching. It's only been a week, and I am hard on myself, but first impressions are everything, and I don't feel like I connected with any of my recitation sections. I have one that I could tell everyone was alive in, but one is silent and one, actively hostile. I teach them again tomorrow, complete with dashiki and a clip from Rize, talking about culture. If you can't befriend them, scare the hell out of them. I figure, it was my mom's philosophy for raising kids, can't hurt me none.
So that's week One. More will be revealed. I miss ya'll.
Damn.
I'm in Boulder, in grad school, and I'm teaching. Me.
Langston Hughes writes about a dream deferred..."does it explode?" I have the opposite scenario- what happens to a dream realized? It's still a bit of a mind-screw, to be honest. I'm living far away from my family for the third time, and this time, I realize what I am missing- my grandma's smile when I walk in the door for Monday night dinner, midnight trips to Meijer with mom, a routine that requires fairly little and affords lots of spending power.
But now, here, in Colorado, I'm finding a new aspect of myself. I am smart- I am well-prepared intellectually for this endeavor (so far, knock wood). It's phenomenal that my summer experience at The Institute has provided me with information I can share with my department. Coming in as a pseudo-expert is awfully nice.
I am becoming much more of a homebody- I like being in my tiny little space, and without the bar or the Pugilist or my own expectations to dog me, I'm much more still (and a bit healthier- I drink water like a mofo here).
I still know relatively few people, and I don't have habits yet- kinda good. In the soup of not knowing, I am free to play, create, experiment with very little at stake.
So that's all Zen. The hard-core Over-the-Rhine in me says this is a good place to get work done. I think I can handle being here to do what I have to do. It helps that my department is phenomenal, so far. I have wonderful professors, and my cohort is cool if not yet cohesive. My students, though...
So far, I give myself a C minus in teaching. It's only been a week, and I am hard on myself, but first impressions are everything, and I don't feel like I connected with any of my recitation sections. I have one that I could tell everyone was alive in, but one is silent and one, actively hostile. I teach them again tomorrow, complete with dashiki and a clip from Rize, talking about culture. If you can't befriend them, scare the hell out of them. I figure, it was my mom's philosophy for raising kids, can't hurt me none.
So that's week One. More will be revealed. I miss ya'll.