A lesson in tightropes
I don't like 17. At least 18's coming soon.
I'm sick of bitching and seeing bitching on this website. I think it's a rule that all teenagers = pessimits. I oftentimes find myself being one, but it's so hard to look on the bright side!
I was talking to someone the other day about our society. Everyone wants instant gratification, and it's sickening. Nobody knows patience or the practice of mental/emotional strength. Isn't it crazy that the divorce rate is 1 in 2? People are so selfish.. they aren't willing to compromise or communicate. Pornography is such a marital killer. The world is slaughtering itself; selfish desires that must be instantly fulfilled result in this ridiculous degree of anguish. I can't even believe what people are doing to themselves now.
If people could learn self control, things would be so much better. I've been Trying with a captial 'T' to practice it lately. I've found that meditation helps a lot. Also, walks are incredibly helpful. Especially at night. When I don't let go of whatever ridiculous thing I'm trying to hold on to, I'm able to free myself. It's a crazy paradox, but it makes things better.
*I keep seeing this strange, linear relationship between faith and self-satisfaction*
On another non-contemplative note...
There is so much that has passed and that is going on!
-Went to Tyler's grandparents' house in Bonner's Ferry, Idaho. It was such a relaxing, beautiful time. It was amazing to fall asleep to the sound of silence. I haven't been in the absence of a freeway buzz in such a long time. Everything was so peaceful... hummingbirds buzzing by, deer in the backyard, numerous history lessons from Ty's grandpa, scrabble and domino games, climbing to see a waterfall and enjoying the serenity of a forest filled with wildflowers and butterflies. We went on a drive and saw a baby moose only a few feet away!
-I'm getting ready for my Europe trip with Sasha. We leave the 29th and get back August 3rd.
Our route is as follows...
~Berlin
~Amsterdam
~Brussels
~Prague
~Vienna
~Zagreb
~Zablace
~Sibenik
~Dubrovnik
~Athens
~Greek Islands
and stops along the way.
I think I'm most excited about Croatia.. Zablace and Dubrovnik especially. My grandpa grew up in those two villages during the war. There's a monument erected for my great-grandma who was murdered in the war in Zablace. Also, Dubrovnik is one of the last midevil cities existing in the entire world. There's a stone wall that surrounds the city filled with half-standing cathedrals. I'm so excited to go to such an ancient place!
Gosh, we're going to get to see Atropolis, the Checkpoint Charlie Museum in Berlin, Bach's house and the Danube in Vienna... it hasn't hit me yet. It'll hit once I get on the plane.
I'm getting the hostel reservations and Eurail passes today and tomorrow.
I can't believe we're graduated. I'm getting excited for my 4-month summer and for school in late September. I've met my roommate already and she so sweet. I'm taking Intro to Sociology, English and Religion, and From Page to Stage (a drama class). School starts at 9:45 AM and I only go Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I'm going to try to get a really good restaurant job. I'd guess waitressing in Seattle makes from $200-300 a day in tips + salary.
I love getting inspired. I have such a bug in me to write! I'm almost done with a book called Liars and Saints by Maile Meloy. It's not the best writing, but it's an interesting war story.
I'm off to the library to do some Europe research.
I miss Kristen & I miss Ben. I was going to go see Ben last night, but then hell came to my home... haha. Sorry Benny, I still love you and hopefully we will see each other next week? For 24 hours solid.
And hopefully I will see Kristen tomorrow at coffee? I won't get to see you for such a long time if we don't go.
Goodbye for a while.