untitled jun birthday fic
Title: The Untitled Jun Birthday Fic
Pairing: Aiba/Jun, Jun/Arashi, Aiba/Arashi, Arashi/Arashi. No, these will not all be tagged. :)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2151
Summary: A mixture of the following: a late-night voicemail, Aiba probably crying, reminiscing, Ohno, alcoholic beverages, cheese, and love. D'aw.
Notes: Original post.
--
12:25 AM
"Jun-chan, hello? Hello? Oh. I guess you're not really going to pick up the phone, then. Maybe I should just wait a few more seconds 'cos you might wake up, since I called you so late. And your ringer is kind of loud. Well, your normal one's not, but the one you have for me is 'cos I changed it so you'd know when I'm calling you! Then you can't just be all blissfully ignorant because you don't know who it is. And since I bring you great tidings of love and germs, I mean joy, you won't be able to resist picking up the phone. Unless you're otherwise occupied, like now.
"Weeeelll, it's been a few seconds and I guess you're still asleep or partying, or asleep at your party, so I just wanted to tell you happy birthday, MatsuJun! Happy twenty-fifth birthday. You are sooo old now, soon you'll be getting arthritis and osteoporosis and forgetting our dance routines and the lyrics to our singles, which you always say you'll never forget--but old age is the number one killer of seniors, you know, Jun-chan. It eats the brain. Just putting that out there. I bet you didn't know that, huh. Anyway, yeah! Happy birthday, I know I sent you a mail but I decided to call you 'cos I'm still awake even though it's kind of late. It's our day off, so I thought I would do a lot of stuff and then sleep really late! So that's why I'm still up. Um…what else, what else. Oh! Make sure you blow out all the candles on your cake. I hope your wish comes true, whatever it is, even if it involves naked women and a tub of icing. But I seriously think that for your own good you should choose a birthday wish that will carry on into the future, like maybe a wish for Arashi? Something along the lines of, we'll still be together when we're old and creaky like Leader?
"…Oh. Leader just told me very angrily that he's not old and creaky, he's perfectly healthy. We're drinking, by the way. We would have invited you--actually, we did invite you, but you said one of your drama crews was throwing you a party and it would last until really late so you didn't think you could make it to the bar. And then you said we'd hang out tomorrow. So we will, all of us, okay? We'll take you somewhere nice and we'll have a lot of time 'cos it's our day off and then we'll go drinking again and eat ramen and Leader will pay. Right, Leader? Ow! Don't throw cheese at me!
"…But back to the wish, Jun-chan--can you wish that we'll stay together for a long time? Please, MatsuJun? Except switch it around a little because if I know the wish then it won't come true. And I really want it to.
"I know you do, too. Because remember a long time ago, when you just turned twenty, and Nino wrote you that birthday song that we all sang to you--we were on tour, so that night you came to my room and you told me that you were very happy? Remember? Well, I do, and I remember telling you after that that you made me happy and Arashi made me happy. And then you said, 'Me too, Masaki,' and you fell asleep on my bed. So I tried to push you over but you were really heavy, so I slept on the couch and that's why my back hurt like hell the next day. But anyway, I just, I thought that I'd like to have that kind of moment with everyone in Arashi every time it was their birthday, except so far I've only had it with you but that's okay, too, because I know Nino and Sho-chan and Leader feel the same way, but they just don't want to climb into my bed and tell me. So I climb into their beds and tell them, and so far the only one who's kicked me out is Nino, but that's because he said I had cold feet. But I still ended up telling him about it, and he said, 'Yeah, Aiba, I know...me too.' And I think he meant it.
"But do you get it? You know what I'm saying, right, MatsuJun? Can you wish that, ten years into the future, Sho-chan will still buy all the newspapers he can get his hands on and read them, every single article, even the ones that we cut out from older newspapers and pasted into the recent news section? Except he kind of caught on when we tried to get him to read the ones in German, even though he was all for the English ones. And can you wish that Nino will always be telling us to pick a card, any card, and asking us if we feel lucky, pink--oh--sorry, Leader just told me it's punk, not pink. And I also hope, and I want you to wish, that he never stops wanting to prank us, so that when we're really old he'll try to do weird things to our wheelchairs that will probably involve lots of gum and fake animals…right, Jun? And also that he'll never get over video games, but I think that if you were sixty it would be really hard to see the screen on a DS. But maybe Nino will turn superhuman one day, just for that reason.
"And I hope Leader--yes, Leader, I mean you. Eat the cheese; don't throw it at me--hey! Hold on, Jun, I have to wipe cheese off my face. Okay. I hope Leader won't stop making things or drawing or painting even though his hands may get really shaky, and also that his--yours, yes, Lea--taste buds don't go bad so you can still say everything's delicious. Well, actually, that would mean they're already bad--I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. Wow, MatsuJun, Leader is a very violent drunk. And he's saying that I talk a lot, but I don't think I'm any different, really. Not much, anyway. Um. What else about you, Leader? What about you do you want to keep when you're really old? Wait--hold on, you want to--no, I'm not saying that, Nino's not here and if you knew you said that he would be really mad and I would get in trouble for telling Jun. Anyway, Jun, just so I don't have to gross you out, I'm sure you know what Captain wants you to stick in that wish. It has to do with him and a certain person, which is kind of selfish, but as he has just reminded me, if they got divorced it would kill us all. And I think we all have to agree. So put it in there or else he won't pay for the group ramen dates ever again, okay?
"Oh, Leader is calling Nino. He's getting permission, I think, to say the other thing, except I don’t think he's coherent enough to do that because he's having trouble opening his phone up right now and it's not even a flip phone. And even if he does reach Nino he won't be able to say anything because he's half-asleep in the cheese. Actually…I think he's fully asleep in the cheese. So back to your birthday wish, okay?
"Who's next? Oh, you, Jun, right? Well, I really really really hope that when we're old and sickly and can only remember the refrain from A.Ra.Shi and nothing else, that you'll still be DoS and weak in the morning and really bitchy when people ask you to do things. And I hope your nails will still be painted and also that your hair will still be impossibly soft and perfect, because I, I think that would be really good. And even if none of that stays the same, because we can't force our bodies to comply with our wishes, I still wish that you'll come into my room and want to sleep in my bed, and before that tell me that you love Arashi and Sho and Nino and Captain and me. I wish that you will say it the same way you said it five years ago, when I was brushing my teeth so you thought I couldn't see your face. But I could, because you were looking in the mirror, and you were crying a little bit and hugging the pillow really tightly and your hair was all messed up because Nino put frosting in it--
"--Aahh, this is kind of embarrassing for you to hear, isn't it? And it's embarrassing for me to say it, too, because this happened a long time ago yet I still remember all of it. But I guess that's just what happens when you love someone a lot, right? Yeah, I think so. The embarrassing stuff just comes out and you can't help saying it even if you'd rather die than admit it all. That's what's happening now, I think, because this started out as me just planning out your birthday wish, and it's still that--it just has all this extra good stuff in it, like a panda that's eaten too much bamboo, which is good because pandas have to eat a lot, but it has to wait for awhile so everything can digest.
"Or it's like you with a hangover, MatsuJun, because you don't want to go to work but it's work so you have to go. But you won't do anything unless I tell you funny stories to get you out of bed, and then I get to pick out your clothes and wash your back in the shower and make you breakfast. And even if I make your kitchen really messy and use all the shampoo or use that instead of soap on your body, even so, you still tell me you love me, and that's the extra, really good stuff, right? Right, Jun?
"Ah, and lastly, wish that I'll keep on letting you sleep with me. Because, Jun-chan, you hog the blankets, and even though snuggling is okay, you do violent snuggling and it's hard to sleep like that. Even after the sex. Yeah, even after that.
"Well, I hope that you remember all of that, because I said a lot and I didn't write it down or anything. I couldn't have, I don't carry around pens and I know Captain probably does but he's asleep on the cheese. Your phone is doing a beepy thing, and I think that means I'm running out of time, since it's already been a long time since I started this message, so I'll just stop here, Jun. We're going to have fun tomorrow anyway so I can see you then and tell you all about this, just in case you forget or didn't get a chance to hear it. So, um, happy birthday again, Matsumoto Jun-chan, may you have many more to come, auld lang syne…wait, that's not--wait--oh, good night, okay? Sorry I can't be there tomorrow morning to make you breakfast, but I'll do it the day after tomorrow if I can. Oh, Captain is awake now, he says--he says 'canary pants,' I'm not sure why. Okay, your phone is really beeping now, so I'll go--BYE, JUUUUN!"
beeeep.
6:27 AM
"Aiba, you--you are an idiot. Just so you know, I hope you never get any smarter, because that means you'll just sound stupider and your voicemails will get longer and make less sense than they do now. And I don't think that's even possible.
"I didn't have an official birthday cake yet--they put the wrong number of candles on the cake yesterday, which was…kind of insulting. Do I look like I've just turned thirty? I didn't mind that much, I mean, I was grateful for the cake and everything, truly, but--thirty candles. That's older than Leader!
"Oh, and I just wanted to let you know that if I did wish for everything you told me to wish for on your voicemail, I would probably have to sit in front of that cake for hours before I finished. And by the end of my wish Captain would have inhaled the cake, candles and all, and told me it was 'seriously delicious.' So I'll just come up with my own, much shorter, wish, so I can actually have a piece of my own cake.
"…But thank you for all the ideas. They were great. Um. Yeah, really.
"And I know you're not awake yet, but if you want, when you wake up, you can come over and I'll make you breakfast. Just so you don't mess up my kitchen. And then we can meet everyone later, and have ramen and go drinking.
"…And then you can come over, and…yeah. Sound good?
"Well--call me back, okay? I'll talk to you later. See you."
6:30 AM
"By the way, I don't hog the covers--your blankets just aren't big enough for the both of us."
--
Pairing: Aiba/Jun, Jun/Arashi, Aiba/Arashi, Arashi/Arashi. No, these will not all be tagged. :)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2151
Summary: A mixture of the following: a late-night voicemail, Aiba probably crying, reminiscing, Ohno, alcoholic beverages, cheese, and love. D'aw.
Notes: Original post.
--
12:25 AM
"Jun-chan, hello? Hello? Oh. I guess you're not really going to pick up the phone, then. Maybe I should just wait a few more seconds 'cos you might wake up, since I called you so late. And your ringer is kind of loud. Well, your normal one's not, but the one you have for me is 'cos I changed it so you'd know when I'm calling you! Then you can't just be all blissfully ignorant because you don't know who it is. And since I bring you great tidings of love and germs, I mean joy, you won't be able to resist picking up the phone. Unless you're otherwise occupied, like now.
"Weeeelll, it's been a few seconds and I guess you're still asleep or partying, or asleep at your party, so I just wanted to tell you happy birthday, MatsuJun! Happy twenty-fifth birthday. You are sooo old now, soon you'll be getting arthritis and osteoporosis and forgetting our dance routines and the lyrics to our singles, which you always say you'll never forget--but old age is the number one killer of seniors, you know, Jun-chan. It eats the brain. Just putting that out there. I bet you didn't know that, huh. Anyway, yeah! Happy birthday, I know I sent you a mail but I decided to call you 'cos I'm still awake even though it's kind of late. It's our day off, so I thought I would do a lot of stuff and then sleep really late! So that's why I'm still up. Um…what else, what else. Oh! Make sure you blow out all the candles on your cake. I hope your wish comes true, whatever it is, even if it involves naked women and a tub of icing. But I seriously think that for your own good you should choose a birthday wish that will carry on into the future, like maybe a wish for Arashi? Something along the lines of, we'll still be together when we're old and creaky like Leader?
"…Oh. Leader just told me very angrily that he's not old and creaky, he's perfectly healthy. We're drinking, by the way. We would have invited you--actually, we did invite you, but you said one of your drama crews was throwing you a party and it would last until really late so you didn't think you could make it to the bar. And then you said we'd hang out tomorrow. So we will, all of us, okay? We'll take you somewhere nice and we'll have a lot of time 'cos it's our day off and then we'll go drinking again and eat ramen and Leader will pay. Right, Leader? Ow! Don't throw cheese at me!
"…But back to the wish, Jun-chan--can you wish that we'll stay together for a long time? Please, MatsuJun? Except switch it around a little because if I know the wish then it won't come true. And I really want it to.
"I know you do, too. Because remember a long time ago, when you just turned twenty, and Nino wrote you that birthday song that we all sang to you--we were on tour, so that night you came to my room and you told me that you were very happy? Remember? Well, I do, and I remember telling you after that that you made me happy and Arashi made me happy. And then you said, 'Me too, Masaki,' and you fell asleep on my bed. So I tried to push you over but you were really heavy, so I slept on the couch and that's why my back hurt like hell the next day. But anyway, I just, I thought that I'd like to have that kind of moment with everyone in Arashi every time it was their birthday, except so far I've only had it with you but that's okay, too, because I know Nino and Sho-chan and Leader feel the same way, but they just don't want to climb into my bed and tell me. So I climb into their beds and tell them, and so far the only one who's kicked me out is Nino, but that's because he said I had cold feet. But I still ended up telling him about it, and he said, 'Yeah, Aiba, I know...me too.' And I think he meant it.
"But do you get it? You know what I'm saying, right, MatsuJun? Can you wish that, ten years into the future, Sho-chan will still buy all the newspapers he can get his hands on and read them, every single article, even the ones that we cut out from older newspapers and pasted into the recent news section? Except he kind of caught on when we tried to get him to read the ones in German, even though he was all for the English ones. And can you wish that Nino will always be telling us to pick a card, any card, and asking us if we feel lucky, pink--oh--sorry, Leader just told me it's punk, not pink. And I also hope, and I want you to wish, that he never stops wanting to prank us, so that when we're really old he'll try to do weird things to our wheelchairs that will probably involve lots of gum and fake animals…right, Jun? And also that he'll never get over video games, but I think that if you were sixty it would be really hard to see the screen on a DS. But maybe Nino will turn superhuman one day, just for that reason.
"And I hope Leader--yes, Leader, I mean you. Eat the cheese; don't throw it at me--hey! Hold on, Jun, I have to wipe cheese off my face. Okay. I hope Leader won't stop making things or drawing or painting even though his hands may get really shaky, and also that his--yours, yes, Lea--taste buds don't go bad so you can still say everything's delicious. Well, actually, that would mean they're already bad--I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. Wow, MatsuJun, Leader is a very violent drunk. And he's saying that I talk a lot, but I don't think I'm any different, really. Not much, anyway. Um. What else about you, Leader? What about you do you want to keep when you're really old? Wait--hold on, you want to--no, I'm not saying that, Nino's not here and if you knew you said that he would be really mad and I would get in trouble for telling Jun. Anyway, Jun, just so I don't have to gross you out, I'm sure you know what Captain wants you to stick in that wish. It has to do with him and a certain person, which is kind of selfish, but as he has just reminded me, if they got divorced it would kill us all. And I think we all have to agree. So put it in there or else he won't pay for the group ramen dates ever again, okay?
"Oh, Leader is calling Nino. He's getting permission, I think, to say the other thing, except I don’t think he's coherent enough to do that because he's having trouble opening his phone up right now and it's not even a flip phone. And even if he does reach Nino he won't be able to say anything because he's half-asleep in the cheese. Actually…I think he's fully asleep in the cheese. So back to your birthday wish, okay?
"Who's next? Oh, you, Jun, right? Well, I really really really hope that when we're old and sickly and can only remember the refrain from A.Ra.Shi and nothing else, that you'll still be DoS and weak in the morning and really bitchy when people ask you to do things. And I hope your nails will still be painted and also that your hair will still be impossibly soft and perfect, because I, I think that would be really good. And even if none of that stays the same, because we can't force our bodies to comply with our wishes, I still wish that you'll come into my room and want to sleep in my bed, and before that tell me that you love Arashi and Sho and Nino and Captain and me. I wish that you will say it the same way you said it five years ago, when I was brushing my teeth so you thought I couldn't see your face. But I could, because you were looking in the mirror, and you were crying a little bit and hugging the pillow really tightly and your hair was all messed up because Nino put frosting in it--
"--Aahh, this is kind of embarrassing for you to hear, isn't it? And it's embarrassing for me to say it, too, because this happened a long time ago yet I still remember all of it. But I guess that's just what happens when you love someone a lot, right? Yeah, I think so. The embarrassing stuff just comes out and you can't help saying it even if you'd rather die than admit it all. That's what's happening now, I think, because this started out as me just planning out your birthday wish, and it's still that--it just has all this extra good stuff in it, like a panda that's eaten too much bamboo, which is good because pandas have to eat a lot, but it has to wait for awhile so everything can digest.
"Or it's like you with a hangover, MatsuJun, because you don't want to go to work but it's work so you have to go. But you won't do anything unless I tell you funny stories to get you out of bed, and then I get to pick out your clothes and wash your back in the shower and make you breakfast. And even if I make your kitchen really messy and use all the shampoo or use that instead of soap on your body, even so, you still tell me you love me, and that's the extra, really good stuff, right? Right, Jun?
"Ah, and lastly, wish that I'll keep on letting you sleep with me. Because, Jun-chan, you hog the blankets, and even though snuggling is okay, you do violent snuggling and it's hard to sleep like that. Even after the sex. Yeah, even after that.
"Well, I hope that you remember all of that, because I said a lot and I didn't write it down or anything. I couldn't have, I don't carry around pens and I know Captain probably does but he's asleep on the cheese. Your phone is doing a beepy thing, and I think that means I'm running out of time, since it's already been a long time since I started this message, so I'll just stop here, Jun. We're going to have fun tomorrow anyway so I can see you then and tell you all about this, just in case you forget or didn't get a chance to hear it. So, um, happy birthday again, Matsumoto Jun-chan, may you have many more to come, auld lang syne…wait, that's not--wait--oh, good night, okay? Sorry I can't be there tomorrow morning to make you breakfast, but I'll do it the day after tomorrow if I can. Oh, Captain is awake now, he says--he says 'canary pants,' I'm not sure why. Okay, your phone is really beeping now, so I'll go--BYE, JUUUUN!"
beeeep.
6:27 AM
"Aiba, you--you are an idiot. Just so you know, I hope you never get any smarter, because that means you'll just sound stupider and your voicemails will get longer and make less sense than they do now. And I don't think that's even possible.
"I didn't have an official birthday cake yet--they put the wrong number of candles on the cake yesterday, which was…kind of insulting. Do I look like I've just turned thirty? I didn't mind that much, I mean, I was grateful for the cake and everything, truly, but--thirty candles. That's older than Leader!
"Oh, and I just wanted to let you know that if I did wish for everything you told me to wish for on your voicemail, I would probably have to sit in front of that cake for hours before I finished. And by the end of my wish Captain would have inhaled the cake, candles and all, and told me it was 'seriously delicious.' So I'll just come up with my own, much shorter, wish, so I can actually have a piece of my own cake.
"…But thank you for all the ideas. They were great. Um. Yeah, really.
"And I know you're not awake yet, but if you want, when you wake up, you can come over and I'll make you breakfast. Just so you don't mess up my kitchen. And then we can meet everyone later, and have ramen and go drinking.
"…And then you can come over, and…yeah. Sound good?
"Well--call me back, okay? I'll talk to you later. See you."
6:30 AM
"By the way, I don't hog the covers--your blankets just aren't big enough for the both of us."
--